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Alcoholism Jokes

What does necrophilia and alcoholism have in common?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

A boy asks his father what alcoholism is

The father says, "Well let me explain it this way. See those two trees over there? An alcoholic would say there's four."


The son replies, "But dad, there is only one tree over there."

My alcoholism is really screwing up my law career.

Every time I try to pass the bar...

I just go in.

Dreamworks has announced a new film exploring Hiccup's descent into depression and alcoholism after saying goodbye to Toothless.

It's called *How to Drain Your Flagon.*

I thought I might be an alcoholic, so I did some research. It turns out the first sign of alcoholism is denial...

So I guess I'm not an alcoholic.

Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease."

Bartender: "Get your shots here."

Alcoholism

Doctor: "Do you suffer from Alcoholism?"

Patient: "No, I actually enjoy it quite a lot."

My son said that he's proud of me overcoming alcoholism.

I'll drink to that.

I heard that alcoholism is a big problem in the ghost community…

They are all really into boos

Is alcoholism a disease?

I don't know, but it's certainly an ale-ment!

How did Mike Tyson open the door to alcoholism?

Withkey.

What happens when you cross alcoholism and books of literary merit?

Tequila Mockingbird

- My wife struggles with alcoholism

- Does she drink?
- No, I drink.

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