What does necrophilia and alcoholism have in common?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

A boy asks his father what alcoholism is

The father says, "Well let me explain it this way. See those two trees over there? An alcoholic would say there's four."


The son replies, "But dad, there is only one tree over there."

I thought I might be an alcoholic, so I did some research. It turns out the first sign of alcoholism is denial...

So I guess I'm not an alcoholic.

Is alcoholism a disease?

I don't know, but it's certainly an ale-ment!

What happens when you cross alcoholism and books of literary merit?

Tequila Mockingbird

- My wife struggles with alcoholism

- Does she drink?
- No, I drink.

My Doctor said, "Alcoholism is a disease."

My bartender said, "Get your shots here."

My son said that he's proud of me overcoming alcoholism.

I'll drink to that.

How did Mike Tyson open the door to alcoholism?

Withkey.

My boss doesn't approve my practice of taking a glass of rum before work. He said "I won't tolerate alcoholism in a workplace!", to which I replied "Sir, it's not alcoholism..

*it's microboozing*

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