What‘s the best way to describe a narcissistic fisherman?

Selfish.

What do you call a narcissistic vampire?

Transyl*VAIN.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist told me I have narcissistic personality disorder...

I think he's just jealous of me

Went to a new optometrist today, but he was way too narcissistic.

Don’t know what I expected from an “I” expert.

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I can't stand the people I work with. They're all narcissistic and have superiority complexes.

I mean, I know I'm better than all of those assholes.

What does a narcissistic cowboy say?

Mee-haw.

Everyone says I'm narcissistic

But I'm too busy thinking about myself to care

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I was once diagnosed as a Narcissistic Sociopath

but after a lot of hard work and a change in perspective, the doctor agreed I was just a sexy genius.

What's a narcissistic hooker's favorite state?

Idaho.

What does the narcissistic cow say?

"Meeeeee!"

I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.

What do you get when the people elect a narcissist as president?

A narcissistic president. What did you people expect?

What do you call a narcissistic spaceship?

The Millennial Falcon

A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."

My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality

I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it.

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My therapist says I'm narcissistic.

How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?

My Friends all say i'm narcissistic

I don't know what that means, but i think it's a compliment.

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Do you know Steve and his narcissistic husband Richard?

They both love Dick.

The narcissistic cannibal started to eat his own body but stopped

because he was already full of himself

So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar...

Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke.

My friends always say that I have narcissistic tendencies. I should get mad...

...but I love when they talk about me.

My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor...

because "who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"

A Frenchman, an Argentine, and a Brazilian were publicly drinking in Russia during the 2018 World Cup.

But that is prohibited there, so they were captured by the police and taken to court.



The judge said that as the country was celebrating, they would take only 20 lashes, with the right to have a wish That wasn't be escape the punishment.



The Frenchman was the first, the...

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

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Trump pulls out of Paris.

Probably for the best... can you imagine how narcissistic that kid would be?

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So I started therapy today...

Apparently I exaggerate my interactions with the opposite sex and the problem stems from narcissistic thoughts that all women want me.

Or at least that’s what my new girlfriend thinks.

First (last?) date at a carnival

A man met a girl online, and eventually arranged to meet up at the local carnival, which was in town for the weekend. Upon meeting, the guy asked her what she wanted to do first, to which she said "I want to get weighed". Naturally, this wasn't what he expected, but figured what the heck and they ...

Unlike most people, I’m happy that Trump pulled out of Paris.

Can you imagine how narcissistic their kids would have been?

You know who's full of themselves

Narcissistic cannibals

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams...

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