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Narcissistic Jokes

My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder

But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist says I'm narcissistic.

How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?

Yo mama's so narcissistic...

She makes cupcakes for your class on her birthday!

Everyone says I'm narcissistic

But I'm too busy thinking about myself to care

Did you hear about the narcissistic, self-destructive, cannibal?

He was full of himself.

What does the narcissistic cow say?

"Meeeeee!"

I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.

I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

They’ve assured me it’s me who needs the group and I’m getting enrolled next week. I’m so grateful for their help

What's a narcissistic hooker's favorite state?

Idaho.

What do you call a narcissistic vampire?

Transyl*VAIN.*

What‘s the best way to describe a narcissistic fisherman?

Selfish.

What does a narcissistic owl say?

A: Me. Me. Me.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is good...

But only because I have it.

What do you call a narcissistic spaceship?

The Millennial Falcon

Went to a new optometrist today, but he was way too narcissistic.

Don’t know what I expected from an “I” expert.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once diagnosed as a Narcissistic Sociopath

but after a lot of hard work and a change in perspective, the doctor agreed I was just a sexy genius.

My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality

I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it.

My Friends all say i'm narcissistic

I don't know what that means, but i think it's a compliment.

What do you get when the people elect a narcissist as president?

A narcissistic president. What did you people expect?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't stand the people I work with. They're all narcissistic and have superiority complexes.

I mean, I know I'm better than all of those assholes.

A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."

My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor...

because "who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know Steve and his narcissistic husband Richard?

They both love Dick.

My friends always say that I have narcissistic tendencies. I should get mad...

...but I love when they talk about me.

Went to the shrink today..

My doctor said that my narcissistic tendencies cause me to misread social interactions.

I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I started therapy today...

Apparently I exaggerate my interactions with the opposite sex and the problem stems from narcissistic thoughts that all women want me.

Or at least that’s what my new girlfriend thinks.

You know who's full of themselves

Narcissistic cannibals

So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar...

Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump pulls out of Paris.

Probably for the best... can you imagine how narcissistic that kid would be?

Unlike most people, I’m happy that Trump pulled out of Paris.

Can you imagine how narcissistic their kids would have been?

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