I keep seeing all these LGBTQ+ Pride signs everywhere.

I ask people what they mean but can never get a straight answer.

Signs of our times

My brother says hiring in California is so low, they updated the policy - Long hair freaky people "may" apply.

The weirdest thing happened today when I visited an American prime time tv studio. There was a blocked off zone guarded by police with signs saying “no comedians allowed, untalented people only”.

I was surprised to see they’d Cordened off the area.

While waiting in line at the entrance to a museum, my 16-year old daughter ran up to my wife and me and said, “Mom, Dad! We need to get a line form!”

Confused, I said “A line form?” She said, “Yes, I think you have to turn it in right over there before you can go in.” She pointed to the entrance.

That’s when I looked and saw the sign that said “Line Forms Here”.

True story. Bonus facts: She’s now a brilliant NICU nurse so she r...

So a horse is in a farm...

A horse is in a farm when one day he finds a website that claims it can teach any farm animal music.

"That's amazing," thinks the horse "I've always wanted to learn to sing."

He signs up for the website, and within a few weeks he is an incredible singer.

Impressed, he tells his ...

The Mars rover has detected the first signs of life on Mars.

It seems that it has received signals from 'Hot MILFs in it's area'

A man driving down a winding country lane noticed two people on the road.

They were wearing robes and sandals, had shaved heads and holding up signs.

One sign read "The End is Near!"

The other sign read "Change Before it's Too Late!"

He slowed the car and rolled down the window. "Get lost you religious nuts!" He yelled.

He sped off round the co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

The private detective is called to a crime scene

As he enters the very large and rustic mansion, he is led to the location where the body was found. It seems like the perfect crime scene. No prints, no clues, just a dead man, with no signs of how he was murdered.

The detective says: “do you have any suspects?” The police officer in charge o...

I got arrested for illegal fishing, even though there weren't any 'no fishing' signs.

Apparently if it's an aquarium in a hotel lobby, you don't need a sign.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy wants to experience some deep soul searching solitude...

He manages to hire an old abandoned sheep station in outback Australia. Tens of thousands of vast empty hectares stretching out to all the horizons.

As soon as the chopper drops him off, flies away and the dust settles, the quiet falls upon him. The distance recedes out endlessly in front of...

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam stand on the side of the road holding signs saying “the end is near”.

A truck drives by and the driver shouts “you dumb religious wackos”, makes the turn and drives off the cliff. The rabbi turns to the priest and imam and says “you think we should change our signs?”

A thug walks into a bar.

He sees a lone man sitting in front of his beer, crying.
He walks up to him, pushes him off the chair, slaps him left and right in the face and drinks his beer.

The man then started crying even louder and sobbing in absolute desperation.
The thug, annoyed, yelled: Why are you crying lik...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist

"I have a date this weekend with two smoking hot models. I want to be able to stay hard the whole time I'm with them. I'm looking for something stronger than Viagra!"

The pharmacist says "Well, I do have this new experimental drug. It works instantly and is guaranteed for three days without s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A deaf couple is having issues in the bedroom

When the lights are off at night, neither of them can communicate. This leads to a lot of frustration for both of them, since the wife can’t tell the husband whether she’s in the mood or vice-versa. Their marriage counselor suggests coming up with a touch language that will work in the dark, thus no...

< Hell Around The World >



A man from Russia dies and goes to Hell. There he finds that there is a different Hell
for each country. He goes first to the German Hell and asks "What do they do
here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails...

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