Ocd Jokes

I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

I told him that it was impossible because there is no disorder in my life

I had to correct it to OCD.

We meet 10 times a day.

Same thing, just in alphabetical order.

Like they should be.

I'd have 1,526 pennies.

Apparently cleaning your browser history does not count.

(Or 11 months, 12 days, 3 hours and 7 minutes to be exact)

I know because I've checked 300 times

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

A symmetry

...nineteen times until I got it all right.

EE II O

There's never any dirty dishes in the sink, the floors are spotless, all the surfaces are wiped down. I even do this if I'm visiting somewhere. If I see a fingerprint or a footprint I just have to take care of it. It makes me a GREAT roommate... but a TERRIBLE crime scene investigator.

I quickly put her in her place...

Always Rings 47 Times

so everything has to be perfect! But not for very long!

Its called CDO

Seven. It *has* to be seven.

Arrange Rover

*If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.*

*If You have Ocd, Push The numbers 1, 2, 3, 7*

*If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.*

*If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.*

*If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what ... read more

Organized crime.

Neat!

*double-check*

Does anyone else find it really frustrating that "OCD" isn't in alphabetical order?

This is the joke

This is the joke


This is the joke


This is the joke


This is the joek


This is the joke



This is the joke.



This is the joke



This is the joke


This is the joke


This is the... read more

I just moved in to a new flat with two girls, it's been a bit of a nightmare to be honest. The first one has really bad OCD, whenever she goes in to a room she has to turn the light switch on and off 17 times. That's nothing compared to the other one, she's got epilepsy

A husband and wife walk into the cleanest bar you've ever seen. It is their monthly date night and they are dressed to impress! The first thing they notice walking through the doors is a sparkle emitting from the glasses across the establishment. They look around and notice pictures on the wall line... read more

as soon as I get the punchline to have the same number of letters as the set-up, I'll post it for you guys.

she was very quick to put me in my place.

They get reorganised.

Organized crime

There’s a fine line, people! And by that I mean 41 micrometers thick.

Original Content Deficiency

I said fine, open and close the door five times and leave.

He diagnosed me with CDO.

One has OCD and the other has OBCD

and bought her a footlong sandwich. With cat like reflexes and a crazed look in her eyes she quickly slammed the sandwich on the table and whipped out a tape measure from her purse.

"I need to see if this is actually one foot long!" she giggled like a nervous school girl.

She pulled ... read more

he says he finds it refreshing.

I told him he needs help,

now he keeps hitting F1.

(edit- thanks to r/supremesnicker for the better punchline.)

Once they've turn you on, they have to turn you off again.

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

You can only be *just right*.

Organizing a wake.

Maybe because they can't even

I'm not sure if she has OCD or if she's just going through the change

The representative body that supports people who suffer from OCD have petitioned the Government to change the acronym to CDO in alphabetical order the way it should be...

That's like OCD, but sorted by alphabet,
AS ALL THINGS SHOULD BE

Sani Claus.

OCD Sea

“Hi, jean!”

It was a sorted affair.

But suddenly a bunch of disorders don’t count as disorders anymore:
- OCD cleanliness
- agoraphobia
- antisocial personality

\- Foot fetishist with OCD