My Mexican friend takes anti-anxiety medication

Its for Hispanic attacks.

My roommate cannot remember if he took his anti anxiety medication or not.

I said, “Are you worried about it?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally took my grandpas viagra thinking it was my anti depressant medication

It’s gunna be a hard day...

I'm on medication for my Pokemon Go addiction.

Gotacachemol.

What happens when you leave your ADHD medication in your Ford Fiesta?

It turns into a Ford Focus.

I’ve just got my latest batch of hemorrhoids medication but I had to call the doctor when I got a bad reaction. He asked ‘where did you apply it?...

On the bus I said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My new medication is crap

The prescription text reads "take a teaspoon twice a day". So I did for a week.

I'm out of teaspoons now and I have a tummy ache.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I blended a little Viagra and some penis enlargement medication into my eyedrops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

To the guy that stole my depression medication...

I hope you’re happy.

Why does Donald Trump take anxiety medication?

For Hispanic attacks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At first I was mad when my doctor prescribed me medication that would lower my sex drive, but now ..

No hard feelings.

Why did the hippie driver refuse heartburn medication?

Because anti-acid would ruin the trip

Did you hear the one about the guy whose doctor prescribed him faulty ED medication?

He had thrust issues.

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
...

A woman had chronic headaches.

She had them since she was in her early teens, and had gone to the doctor, had x-rays, scans, medication, and nothing seemed to help. Finally, she went to a headache specialist, and he told her that her left breast was the cause. The only treatment was to remove the breast. The good news was that he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was trying to discuss dihorrhea medications with my friends

It ended shortly after they started talking crap.

You can actually file a lawsuit against the federal government in the United States. It's a myth that you can't. All you have to do is simply take some specific medication.

And that medication, my friends, is Sudafed®

They said that schizophrenia is an illness and I should take medication.

But look who’s over here not lonely during the quarantine!

Apparently 25% of women are on some form of medication for mental illness. 25%! That's horrifying.

It means 75% of them are running around untreated!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor prescribed me a new medication.

It’s called Fukitol. Unfortunately, the pharmacy had none left to give.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On this, the second anniversary of becoming a Redditor, I've decided to repost one of my OWN jokes!

As an experiment, I blended some penis enlargement medication with some Viagra and then added that into my eye drops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do the fact of my existence and a medication pill have in common?

both are bitter as fuck and you can't swallow them without drinking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy has a massive headache and its not responsive to any medication.

After doctors researching whats wrong with him for months they finally cone to conclusion. They called the guy and deliver the news. Doctor says;

-Its good news, found the problem.

-What is it doc?

-We need to remove your penis.

Guy looks sad. But after some consideration...

The pharmacist said they only have the generic version of my laxative medication.

I said "I guess I'll have to make doo with that".

I want to write a memoir about how my medication makes me thirsty all the time. Thinking about calling it “My Life as a Desiccant”.

Don’t think I will, though; I’m worried that readers might think it’s too dry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to visit his elderly father in a nursing home.

He's running late, so arrives later than normal. The nurse on duty tells him visiting hours are nearly over but he can sit with his father while she gives him his medication. He agrees and the nurse comes back a few minutes later with a glass of water and three pills. The man eyes the pills curiousl...

My wife and I spend so much money on arthritis medication and weed that we made a whole new bank account just for those two things!

It's a joint account

I was always told “you lose a lot of friends after deciding to better yourself”

I never believed it until all of my friends disappeared after I started taking my schizophrenia medication

Perpetual hard-on

My friend have this problem with a perpetual hard-on and decided to seek help. He went to the pharmacy owned by 3 sisters for any kind of medication.

He explained his problem to one of the owner/pharmacist and asked what he can get for his problem. She said wait here and I will asked my sist...

I accidentally took my cats medication today.

Don't ask me'ow I did it

There should be a manly constipation medication called "Court Marshall."

"You are now relieved of duty."

I got my sleeping pills mixed up with my cats medication the other day...

Just don't ask me-ow

John went to the doctors for a stomach pain that had been bothering him for months.

The doctor quickly identified the problem and prescribed some painkillers to alleviate the symptoms. But he explained:
"They're suppositories, so need to be taken rectally. I'll do the first one for you, so you know how."
So John bends forward and the doctor inserts the first suppository. It's...

Why didn't the dough boy take his medication?

His pills were buried.

Me: I'm here for medication to help with my fear of the spice girls

Doctor: we have 3 types so tell me what you want

Me[screams]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New nurse at an elderly care centre: "Hey, I was checking though Bills medication list and got curious, why would a 90 year old man need viagra while staying here alone?"

Nurse 2: "It stops him rolling out of bed."

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,

Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.

In Russia, just saying "thank you" is enough to cure some illnesses even without taking any actual medication.

Scientists are calling it The Spasibo Effect

Which medication kites behind your boat?

Parasailtamol

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.