Elon Musk and Bill Gates have decided to partner in a joint venture to invent a medication to overcome erectile dysfunction.

They have decided to name the new drug 'Elongates'.

I'm on medication for my Pokemon Go addiction.

Gotacachemol.

My roommate just told me, “I can’t remember whether I took my anti anxiety medication or not.”

I said, “Are you worried about it?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My new medication is crap

The prescription text reads "take a teaspoon twice a day". So I did for a week.

I'm out of teaspoons now and I have a tummy ache.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally took my grandpas viagra thinking it was my anti depressant medication

It’s gunna be a hard day...

Why did the mexican take his anti-anxiety medication?

For hisPanic attack.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I blended a little Viagra and some penis enlargement medication into my eyedrops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

What happens when you leave your ADHD medication in your Ford Fiesta?

It turns into a Ford Focus.

I’ve just got my latest batch of hemorrhoids medication but I had to call the doctor when I got a bad reaction. He asked ‘where did you apply it?...

On the bus I said.

Whoever took my anxiety medication

I'm worried about you

I can't afford my medication...

I'm a pill pauper.

To the guy that stole my depression medication...

I hope you’re happy.

Why does Donald Trump take anxiety medication?

For Hispanic attacks

Why did the hippie driver refuse heartburn medication?

Because anti-acid would ruin the trip

They said that schizophrenia is an illness and I should take medication.

But look who’s over here not lonely during the quarantine!

Apparently 25% of women are on some form of medication for mental illness. 25%! That's horrifying.

It means 75% of them are running around untreated!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor prescribed me a new medication.

It’s called Fukitol. Unfortunately, the pharmacy had none left to give.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At first I was mad when my doctor prescribed me medication that would lower my sex drive, but now ..

No hard feelings.

Did you hear the one about the guy whose doctor prescribed him faulty ED medication?

He had thrust issues.

Ive been very depressed because of lack of sleep so i asked the doctor about the positives and the negatives of sleeping medication. He said that they can be a great tool for sleeping but if you take too much you'll die.

I said okay. Now what are the negatives?

You can actually file a lawsuit against the federal government in the United States. It's a myth that you can't. All you have to do is simply take some specific medication.

And that medication, my friends, is Sudafed®

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was trying to discuss dihorrhea medications with my friends

It ended shortly after they started talking crap.

John went to the doctors for a stomach pain that had been bothering him for months.

The doctor quickly identified the problem and prescribed some painkillers to alleviate the symptoms. But he explained:
"They're suppositories, so need to be taken rectally. I'll do the first one for you, so you know how."
So John bends forward and the doctor inserts the first suppository. It's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy has a massive headache and its not responsive to any medication.

After doctors researching whats wrong with him for months they finally cone to conclusion. They called the guy and deliver the news. Doctor says;

-Its good news, found the problem.

-What is it doc?

-We need to remove your penis.

Guy looks sad. But after some consideration...

The pharmacist said they only have the generic version of my laxative medication.

I said "I guess I'll have to make doo with that".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do the fact of my existence and a medication pill have in common?

both are bitter as fuck and you can't swallow them without drinking

I want to write a memoir about how my medication makes me thirsty all the time. Thinking about calling it “My Life as a Desiccant”.

Don’t think I will, though; I’m worried that readers might think it’s too dry.

I accidentally took my cats medication today.

Don't ask me'ow I did it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Singles on a deserted island

A luxury cruise ship offered a cruise for young singles only. But halfway through the voyage, the ship crashed. The Captain had been having a affair and didn't see the giant rock formation. The cruise ship went down in record time (as did the Captain). Most people on board were too drunk to act fast...

There should be a manly constipation medication called "Court Marshall."

"You are now relieved of duty."

Why didn't the dough boy take his medication?

His pills were buried.

My wife and I spend so much money on arthritis medication and weed that we made a whole new bank account just for those two things!

It's a joint account

Me: I'm here for medication to help with my fear of the spice girls

Doctor: we have 3 types so tell me what you want

Me[screams]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New nurse at an elderly care centre: "Hey, I was checking though Bills medication list and got curious, why would a 90 year old man need viagra while staying here alone?"

Nurse 2: "It stops him rolling out of bed."

I got my sleeping pills mixed up with my cats medication the other day...

Just don't ask me-ow

In Russia, just saying "thank you" is enough to cure some illnesses even without taking any actual medication.

Scientists are calling it The Spasibo Effect

I was bored this morning and decided to take my wife's medication just to see what the side effects were

Funny, it didn't make me want to sleep with my best friend...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tom suffers from severe constipation.

After years of searching around and trying every method and medication under the sun, he finally finds the only medicine that works.

One day, he goes to his doctor to get his prescription.

"I can't give it to you, sorry," says the good doctor.

So Tom runs around the city checkin...

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,

Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.

What medication does a snake take before giving a presentation?

An antihissstamine.

Which medication kites behind your boat?

Parasailtamol

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You guys hear about the medication for premature ejaculation?

You can get it with expedited shipping so it should come quickly...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.