UPJOKE
nonenotnaryno morezeronegativewithoutbutanythingonlyjusteitheranyoneneveryes

A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, servin‌‌g i‌‌n Worl‌‌d Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat.

Th‌‌e on...

What is the relation between Thanos and Trigonometry?

sin(nos) / cos(nos) = tan(nos)

If Dracula were a furry, what would his name be?

Nos-fur-atu

C3PO is trying to get Nitrous Oxide for his robot friend.

He walks up to a vampire and says 'I want Nos for Ar-Too'.

Double Negatives

...are no-nos.

I have inpenetrable will.

No solicitor or homeless person could ever get to me.
The answer is always the firmest of NOs.
Why, just the other day an elderly woman with a black eye asked me if I could give the money I had.
I refused.
Then she began to cry. Bawling her eyes out, she begged me:
"Please, I've ...

An Aardvark walks into a bar

Bartender: Can I get you a beer?

Aardvark: Noooooooooooo

Bartender: Can I get you some wine?

Aardvark: Noooooooooooooo

Bartender: Well, how about a whiskey?

Aardvark: Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Bartender: What's with the long Nos?

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