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A child asks his father what "gay" means

The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".

What kind of running means walking?

Running out of gas!

I've been asking people what LGBTQ means

But no one has given me a straight answer

Billie Eilish is officially 18 now, do you know what that means?

She's old enough to order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95 if she calls 1-800-441-2400. When she calls, they'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with her order.

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If big feet means big dick and big car means small dick...

Then no wonder people are so scared of clowns.

“Take out” could mean food, dating, or murder.

If you’re a praying mantis, it means all three at the same time.

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If y = f(x) means y is a function of x

Then;

being a lying ass hoe = f(my(x))

should be an easy equation to understand

If the prefix "pluto" means wealth, and the suffix "theist" means belief or worship of a deity, what do you call someone who worships money above all else?

American

Don't think that buying shares in a company means you get a say in how it's run.

The company probably issued a billion shares and you've only got one. Which means it's nanoyourbusiness.

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

Thanks for explaining the meaning of "many"

It means a lot to me.

So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week

She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."

I asked her: "What do you think it means?"

She smiled and said: "I don't know..."

Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.

I still don't know w...

If Poly means many then...

Politics means Many Bloodsucking Insects

If being Russian means my b's are v's,

Then Soviet

^(not a repost)

Fat people are great. It just means there's more of them to love.

Said the cannibal.

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How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

Fighting COVID-19 by contact tracing and quarantining those with connections to infected people means that...

Poor Kevin Bacon never gets to leave his home.

I met the man who invented the part of a map that explains what each symbol means.

What a legend.

So what if I don’t know what Apocalypse means

It’s not like it’s the end of the world

Did you know atoms don't touch each other that means we have never touched anything in our lives

So no officer i did not punch that kid

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Today is 4/20 and we all know what that means -

Happy birthday, Adolf Hitler!

People often use fiction as a means of escape. To experience the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems they do.

For example whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

It’s okay if you don’t have any idea what “prefix” means.

It’s not the end of the word.

If you see a Spanish person tell them "mucho"

It means a lot to them

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If the suffix -ist means expert of something

Then damn I must be a sadist

Wife: "I shaved down there. You know what that means..."

Husband: "Yeah, the drain is clogged again."

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help...

Follow the dog and you’ll get a free purse or wallet

My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

**Wife:** whatever means necessary.

**Me:** No it doesn't.

Everyone keeps making fun of me because I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means

Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world.

Anyone know what "obtaining information through deception" means?

I'm asking for a friend.

Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

Understanding the wealth of ancient Egyptians means...

...realizing that not only did they stuff the tombs with gold, but also wrapped the corpses in toilet paper.

A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...

What do you call a deep fissure that says one thing but means the opposite?

A sarchasm

No one knows what propaganda means anymore.

It's when a British person takes a really good look at something.

I tried to learn what clandestine means.

Turns out it's a secret.

I would like to thank person who taught me the meaning of the word "plethora"....

It really means a lot.

I asked what LGBTQ means and I've been getting lots of answers but here lies the problem

I couldn't get a straight answer

I have been asking everyone what a shrug means..

But donno why nobody has a clue..

Karma means I can be mean to people having a clear clear conscience: they probably deserved it.

Every time I make this joke, something bad happens to me the next day.

Brazil has half the number of guns in comparison to the USA but twice the number of deaths by gunshot, you know what that means?

That Brazilians have a great aim.

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

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Three American colonels are in the US about to retire and they are offered an economic compensation...

..which consists of multiplying 100,000 dollars by the distance in inches they have between two parts of their body that they choose.

Colonel McDowell chooses this distance to be from his toe to the edge of his longest hair on his head and the result is 72 inches, so that means he gets $7,20...

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