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A single sperm contains 37.5mb of DNA information which means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 tb

That's a lot of information to swallow

I asked so many people what LGBTQ+ means

Nobody gave me a straight answer.

Asked my neighbour if he would help me find out what DIY means.

He said "Do it yourself".

Unhelpful prick.

If foursome mean four people, threesome means three people

What does handsome mean

I always ask people what their bad tattoo means

It usually means I’m about to get beat up

My wife is fed up with my constant stream of jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?!" She shot back, "Whatever means necessary!!" I chuckled...

"No it doesn't!"

Living beside a groundhog means you get one prediction every morning.

Yesterday I learned that my tomatoes will be ripe in 6 weeks.

Today I learned that my dementia is onset and early.

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At some point in life being good in bed means..

You dont snore, you dont steal the covers and you let your partner sleep in.

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One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
 
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
Americ...

My girlfriend said she'd leave me if I couldn't find a twelve letter word that means "obstructive".

I think it's unreasonable.

This is my 5th cake day which means

My reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be

I don't know what "Armageddon" means. So what?

It is not the end of the world.

My wife told me that I don't understand what irony means.

It was especially ironic because we were at the bus stop.

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A child asks his father what "gay" means

The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".

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Do you know, what does "to be good in bed" means?

Well, it depends.

Before the marriage: You have endurance, you know what to do and you can bring the most desirable pleasure.

After the marriage: You don't snore, you don't fart and you don't steal the whole blanket.

What's a four letter word ending with 'K' that means intercourse?

Talk.

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What do you call couples who use pull out as a means of birth control?

Parents

I used to assume that if a chef is fat, it means that their food is good.

Then I learned: Never judge a cook by his blubber.

pre means before and post means after,

to use both at the same time would be...



preposterous

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other one!

Billie Eilish is officially 18 now, do you know what that means?

She's old enough to order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95 if she calls 1-800-441-2400. When she calls, they'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with her order.

I want to know what the word "procrastination" means

I'll look it up tomorrow.

After 37 years I’m finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I’ve accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means...

...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50

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If big feet means big dick and big car means small dick...

Then no wonder people are so scared of clowns.

My sister hates Christmas because it means wrapping, and she hates wrapping.

I tried to motivate her by saying she was more than capable of wrapping, but she wouldn’t listen. So I decided to help by dropping a beat for her.

They say “when pigs fly” means impossible

But how come we have swine flu?

It’s finally October, and you know what that means!

Americans might actually start wearing masks.

Can some please explain to me what it means to identify as queer

Because looked it up and there were no straight answers

Little Johnny, can you tell me what "Monumental" means?

"It means acting crazy," says little Johnny.

"Where did you hear that?" the teacher asks.

"From the Jamaican guy next door.

Learnt an interesting fact today..... If you spell "Absolutely Nothing" backwards, you get "Gnihton Yletulosba" which actually means.........

........... Absolutely Nothing!!

What kind of running means walking?

Running out of gas!

Remember men, no means no, but one thousand no's and one yes

is YouTube Premium's entire marketing scheme.

A professor in a Logic class says "Alright class, if you know what 'affirming the consequent' means, then raise your hand."

A student raises her hand.



The Professor says "Ah, yes. You know what it is?"



The student says "No, why would you think so?"

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“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “OK, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the doc soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”

“But, Doc, I’ve been screwing the maid, too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”

“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
>“Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife now has it, too.”

“Son of a bitch!” the physician roared. “That means we’ve a...

A boy gets a parrot for his birthday

A boy gets a pet parrot for his birthday.

The parrot is constantly swearing, and saying rude things. The boy tries to teach his parrot to stop saying bad words and things like that. He plays calm music to the parrot, he reads stories to the parrot, he tries everything he can to get the parrot...

If "Red" means stop

That means i have to stop at the red light district

My friend just told me, "I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water".

I know he means well

A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...

I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.

In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!

I met the man who invented the part of a map that explains what each symbol means.

What a legend.

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Singles on a deserted island

A luxury cruise ship offered a cruise for young singles only. But halfway through the voyage, the ship crashed. The Captain had been having a affair and didn't see the giant rock formation. The cruise ship went down in record time (as did the Captain). Most people on board were too drunk to act fast...

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Johnny is a sponge

One night a mother and father get into a heated argument.

"You bitch!" Screams the dad.
"You're a selfish prick" the mom replies.

Their little boy Johnny pipes up with "what do those words mean mommy and daddy?" Thinking quickly the dad says "I was just calling your mother a lady, ...

Spanish word of the day..

Muchos.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

Marital expectations

Two women were out walking in the city. Suddenly one of them spots her husband across the street. She points at him and says ”Look, it’s Jim, and he’s got a big bouquet of flowers that he’ll come home with tonight. Damn, that means I’ll have to lay on my back, spread eagle all night.” Both women sha...

Stable hand asks his boss: What does it mean that i found a horseshoe in front of the stables this morning?

His boss answers: Means that one of our horses ran off in his socks again!

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