The 132+ Best Fact Jokes

Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

It's also their biggest import.

Fact: A lot of women turn into good drivers.

So if you're a good driver, watch out for women who are turning!

Lazy people fact #4564321564

You were too lazy to read that number.

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.

I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.

Little known fact, cowboys don’t roll joints...

They tumble weed...

Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . .

At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.

Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed down my stuff and right

As a Nevadan, I'm tired of people insinuating that we can't count. We are a great state filled with intelligent people. In fact, I can list off 20 ways we are better than our neighboring states.

Just let me take my shoes and socks off first.

True Fact: Before the crowbar was invented

Most crows drank at home

Proof that blondes are not, in fact, dumb.

There was a huge convention where all the guests were blonde. It was decided to prove once and for all that blondes are not really dumb.

They got the smartest blonde in the room up on stage. The announcer asks "What is 100 divided by 10?" The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "Is it s...

I’m tired of hearing people say British food tastes awful. In fact, British food is the third most delicious food in the world

The first being French food, and the second is food from all other countries.

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Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub

(2) I'm banned from Subway

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The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story,”Excuse me my dear……..my stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom.

The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back ...

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It's a well-known fact that Hitler...

It's a well-known fact that Hitler often consulted astrologists and people involved in the occult to get direction while Germany fought in World War II.

One day he decided to thank his chief astrologer and called him into his office to say, "we've done really well in the war and I'm grateful...

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For this joke, I'll be using the word "bitch" but first, I want to make it cear that I would never disrespect a woman by calling her that. So no one needs to get offended, as I am simply, in fact, talking about a female dog, ok?

All right, so last night I was fuckin' this bitch and...

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

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It's a little known fact that most vacuums are gay

They're always coming out of the closet

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered an amazing fact about icebergs...

More below.

A baby is born with no arms or legs and no torso. In fact he is just a head. But his parents loved and adored him and cared for him all through his childhood..

When he turned 18 his dad took him down to the local pub for his first pint of beer. He took his first sip and “whoosh” his torso appeared. He took a second sip and his arms and legs appeared.

He was so excited he stood up and ran outside into the road where he was knocked over by an...

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources"

-The Credible Hulk

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True facts....

\*\*\*\*True Facts\*\*\*\*

1. IN the 1400s, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb, hence we have 'the rule of thumb'.

2. Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only, Ladies Fo...

Fun fact

Before the invention of the crow bar most crows got drunk at home

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A man and a woman were dating. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing."

He enthusiastically agreed and sped...

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My wife has been trying to hide the fact that she's been masturbating while on her period.

But I caught her red handed!

Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old European song of praise.

It was a Finnish hymn.

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Fun Fact:

When you say the word "poop" your lips make the same shape as your butthole.

Bonus Fact: the same is true for "Explosive Diarrhoea"

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Pride Fact: Did you know the Grim Reaper is canonically pansexual?

>!Death comes for us all.!<

Fun movie fact: Did you know that the movie "Speed" featuring Keanu had no director?

Because if it had direction, then the movie would be called "Velocity"

It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

Fun fact, koi fish travel in groups of 4.

If attacked, Koi A, B, & C will scatter, leaving behind D Koi.

It's a well known fact that humorists are more intelligent than the run of the mill average joe on the street. It's also a well known fact that it's not always a good idea to flaunt those extra smarts.

One day, the royal court was lounging around in a bored state. Without thinking, the jester suddenly voiced an opinion, "You know, there are times when the apology for an offense is worse than the original action."

The king immediately glowers and says, "If you can't prove that, Jester, I thi...

A man’s wife is very concerned about the horrible dandruff he has, and the fact that he won’t go to the doctor about it.

So she goes to the doctor on his behalf, and she says doctor, my husband has horrible dandruff and he won’t do anything about it and I am at my wits end with the skin flakes all over the bed sheets and pillows, what can I do?

The doctor says, give him head and shoulders, and see if that help...

Funny unknown historical fact:

Pharoahs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because it was a historical belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

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It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.

Not even remotely.

(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk ass laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)

The fact Ozzy has COVID now just shows bats always get their revenge.

(All the best to them, hope he gets to live a long time)

Dinosaur Fact

Towards the end of the Jurassic period, the Thesaurus was the first Dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.

Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on!

"Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."

A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien

For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.

This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.

It's a fact that married men live longer than single men,

But single men put up much more of a fight when dying.

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Fun fact

If you cut off all your body hair and laid it end to end you’d be a fucking weirdo

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Fun fact I was born the same day a Green Day album was released

So, that means two American Idiots came out that day

Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to wher...

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Little known fact...

The first time whale semen was studied by a marine biologist was actually at the request of one particular sperm cell. The following conversation took place.

Sperm: I just want to be taken seriously. I think that reproductive cells are an easy target for crude humor made by the mindless immat...

FUN FACT: if you fart and sneeze at the same time

Your body takes a screenshot

It is a known fact that light travels faster than sound.

That's why everyone seems bright until they speak.

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Astronomy Fact: You can fit 63 Earths inside Uranus

64 if you relax.

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Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that

You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.

Little known fact: as a joke, Peter Jackson made some of the Ents drink tea and chat in the background during the big fight scene at Isengard in the Two Towers

In other words, the real joke is in the calm Ents.

An interesting fact about karl marx and Olympics

Karl Marx had a sister named Onya that was an Olympic athlete. She is still honored today, her name is invoked at the start of every foot race.

The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have a high level of…..

Koala-t

Interesting fact: T-Shirt is short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt…

Because of the short arms.

A dad joke was explaining the facts of life

A dad joke was explaining the facts of life to his pun.

"You'll be a dad joke one day when you become apparent after you're full groan."

The fact that Head and Shoulders....

Hasn't made a bodywash called Knees and Toes, really bothers me.

Fun Fact: If you drink the inside of the magic 8 ball, you can see the future.

My friend did it one and he said "I think I'm gonna die."

10 minutes later he actually did!

“The main problem with the internet is that there is no way to validate most facts “

Abraham Lincoln. 1865

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Women can hide the fact they are horny…

Us guys stick out

I really hate the fact that after the Queen’s death the Australian coins are being updated..

But then again, I don’t like change.

I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

Facts of life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he’d be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

I don't get why people think pee is stored in the balls. It is a fact that pee is stored in the BLADDER.

There is a vas deferens between the two.

I’m not racist, in fact, I love all races!

Even the bad ones.

It's a little known fact that bears believe in astrology...

It's called The Kodiak.

One of their pickup lines is "Hey honey... what's ursine?"

Pun Fact

If you accidentally inhaled an edible… you would have high aspirations.

Fact: No dog owner talks to their pet in a normal voice.

No they don't, oh no they don't...

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Two interesting facts about me:

1: My Penis is the exact length of two IKEA pencils.

2: I've got a lifetime ban from IKEA!

A man is talking to a woman and he asks for a fun fact about her. she tells him "I am missing all my toes". the man says, "I'm sorry but I can't date you". The woman asks why and the man responds:

I am lactose intolerant.

Little known fact #38: One of the first online "hook-up" apps started out using Sean Connery to do their voice overs. They soon noticed they were only getting hits from roofers.

Apparently they were interested in the dozens of hot shingles in their area.

Fun fact:

When people read "Fun fact" they must click the post

Fun Fact: Spiders can tell the difference between someone blowing on their web and the wind.

But that may just be because the wind isn't warm and sticky...

I'm a very generous guy. In fact, I've donated millions.

Of sperm to the sperm bank.

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

Little known fact-

Captain Hook bought his hook from a second hand store.

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FACT: 24 astronauts AND the Wright Brothers were born in Ohio.

Something about that crappy state makes people want to flee the Earth.

Fact: Xi Jinping once slept in a house in Iowa

After many many year later...

The husband was watching the news and saw an article about Xi Jinping.

He was very very shocked and said to his wife: 'Hey, do you remember that Chinese guy who used to be at our house?'

The wife said: 'Of course I remember, why are you asking?'
...

When it comes to fact-checking, journalists are lazy.

Source: Wikipedia.

FunFact

The flat earth society members are all around the globe!

Just saw a fun fact that said, "Babies are more likely to be born on Tuesdays."

As opposed to what? ADULTS being born on Tuesdays?

It's a little known fact that the inuit people always know when someone is willing to kiss.

They have a good nose for it.

Fact

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence, often goes undetected.

Fun fact: did you know that HIV is actually Roman for “high five”?

Pass it on – or, rather, don’t.

The fact that germs enter my body without my consent is wrong.

And to be honest it makes me sick.

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My wife told me that she’s getting fed up of my boring facts.

“I find them very interesting,” I said.

“Well, who gives a flying fuck?” She said angrily.

“Dragonflies,” I replied.

I love everything about my new home remodel, except the fact I didn't go with granite countertops.

It's my one laminate.

The fact that some people can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology...

...bugs me in ways I can’t put into words.

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Fun facts about England Fun fact: Sussex, Wessex, Essex, and Middlesex, are all named for points on a compass, South, West, East, and Middle respectively, and represent places of Saxon occupancy. That is, Wessex means West Saxons.

But why Middle and not North, you ask. Well, Little Timmy, there's no north because no one wants to be called Nosex.

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Fun fact: mountain lions pose a very low threat to humans. They're scared of us.

That's because they're big pussies.

I don't know why people hate Communism; In fact, I wrote a nice poem about it!

*H*appiness all around
*E*veryone is free
*L*ove fills the air
*P*eople are unbound

*M*aybe you should consider
*E*quality for All

If you want to know more, just send a letter to me. If I don't reply soon, I might be away *intermittent*ly on a nice *camp*ing trip ...

An unappreciated fact about the road to Hell

It's paved.

Where are facts from?

From the Factory

Fun fact about the word "queue"

**Queue** is pronounced from only the letter "q" as the rest four are waiting for their turn!

I just got a joke book whose entire gimmick is the fact that you can rip the pages out and hand it to people.

Its a book of tear-able puns.

It's a little known fact that William Shakespeare and Lord Byron died on the same day.

When they met Saint Peter at the pearly gates, he said, "We are honored to receive two incredibly distinguished poets on the same day! Unfortunately we don't have room for both of you to enter today, so we're going to have to have a little contest. I'm going to say a word, and both of you have to ma...

Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth.

For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise.

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A man was very proud of the fact that he was born with three testicles

One day, he’s walking down the street and he walks by another man. Smugly, he tells him, “did you know that between the two of us, there are a total of five balls?”

The other man gives him a confused look and says, “so you mean you only have one?”

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A bride-to-be is stressing out over the fact that she’s not a virgin,

but she’s told her future husband she is. She has no idea what to do and is talking to her friends about it, when one of the friends pipes up and says, “Here’s what you do — buy some liver, stick it up there, and everything will be nice and tight and your husband will never know.”

So, the bri...

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facts

did you know that having too much sex could cause memory loss ?

i remember reading that on the 23 of november 2001 at 9:1:02 am page 36 line 9/11

it wasn't a sunny day in fact it was very cloudy

very...cloudy....

Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

Detective 1: "Why do you keep bringing Quasimodo to the crime scenes? He doesn't have any real facts or information."

Detective 2: "Say what you will about him, but he's got a hunch."

A round earth fact to a flat-earther is…

…like what thanksgiving is to a turkey

Fun fact: the first french fries weren’t made in France

They were made in Greece

A little known fact about Jim Jones is that he was an aspiring boxer

He quit the sport after taking out 900 people with one punch

Unshakable Fact # 5

Arguing over a girl's breast size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

I was in a bar getting drunk last night, when the bartender shouted out, “Does anyone know CPR?” I shouted back, “I do, in fact, I know the entire alphabet!” Everyone in the bar laughed and laughed...

Well, all except for one guy...

Funny fact

So there is people that have a fear of long words and it's called
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
And it is also one of the longest words in the dictionary.
Makes me chuckle

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Well known fact.

95% of reddit users are sad lonely wankers....

The other 5% are liars.......

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The fact that there is only a stairway to heaven...

But a highway to hell says alot about anticipated traffic numbers

Ten Surprising facts doctors don't want you to know about subway tracks!

the 3rd one will shock you!

Wanna hear a fun fact about the Titanic?

The pool is still full.

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The facts of life

A papa dog decided to day was the day to teach his son the facts of life. They started their day going for a walk and as they do papa dog comes across some trash cans so he turns to his son and tells him to pay attention as he knocks one down and starts eating from it. The papa dog tells his son "yo...

Fantastic Ocean Life Facts The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...

...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

Once a hobbit gets to around 125 years old, they are very likely to die. And a little known fact is that, when they do, they are generally found to have a raging, post-mortem erection!

That's right, old hobbits die hard.

Fact: Q is the only letter that isn’t in any American state name.

And as such, believers in Q don’t belong in America

Fact

Ever feel useless.... Just remember we buy trash bags jst to throw it away

Fun fact: French tanks in WWII had rear-veiw mirrors.

This allows them to see the frontline too.

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I know for a fact that getting kicked on the balls hurts more than childbirth.

How do I know this?

Most women want to having another baby despite going through childbirth, yet I’ve never seen a man ask to get kicked in the balls.

Used to know this guy who always tried to draw attention to the fact he was half-horse.

Never could stop being the centaur of attention.

Little known fact: Jesus was most probably a student.

* He still lived with his parents
* Long, uncut hair
* And if he did something for once, it was a miracle.

In fact, religious persons are not much different from atheists…

There are 4,000 religions in the world.

A religious person believes that 3,999 religions are wrong.

An atheist believes that 4,000 religions are wrong.

Men will always be more agreeable to the fact...

That having 3 legs is better than 2.

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.

Because I wasn't wearing a condom.

Fun fact about myself

I invented the word "plagerism"

Little known fact, in the 70s, Jim Morrison was originally the head of Microsoft. But after a few years, he was fired and replaced by Bill Gates.

Apparently, he made better Doors than Windows.

Archaeologists discover that Rome was in fact built in a day

Slackers everywhere suddenly feel a massive obligation to be more productive.

97.62% of the world's population has accepted climate change as a scientific fact.

The rest of them are in North America.

My son Luke loves the fact he's named after a Star Wars character

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much

I learnt a boring fact about Kamikaze

Its just plain suicide

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Fun fact:

69% of men find a sexual meaning in every joke

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Sometimes you just have to accept the facts of a situation.....

Back in the 20s when most kitchens didn't have refrigerators but ice boxes instead, a man is driving a horse drawn wagon selling blocks of ice around town.

Rolling thru the streets he'd call out "Ice! Ice for sale! Ice!"

A lady on the 5th floor of one building he's passing yells down,...

Little known fact, Moses had a motorcycle

It literally says so in the Bible:

"And lo, the roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout Israel"

Fact of the day: Stalin actually knew Communism won't work

There were red flags everywhere

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