Fact Jokes - 138 Hilarious Fact Jokes

Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

It's also their biggest import.

Fact: A lot of women turn into good drivers.

So if you're a good driver, watch out for women who are turning!

Little known fact, cowboys don’t roll joints...

They tumble weed...

Lazy people fact #4564321564

You were too lazy to read that number.

Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . .

At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.

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It's a well-known fact that Hitler...

It's a well-known fact that Hitler often consulted astrologists and people involved in the occult to get direction while Germany fought in World War II.

One day he decided to thank his chief astrologer and called him into his office to say, "we've done really well in the war and I'm grateful...

My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed down my stuff and right

Little known fact-

Captain Hook bought his hook from a second hand store.

True Fact: Before the crowbar was invented

Most crows drank at home

Fun fact

Before the invention of the crow bar most crows got drunk at home

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True facts....

\*\*\*\*True Facts\*\*\*\*

1. IN the 1400s, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb, hence we have 'the rule of thumb'.

2. Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only, Ladies Fo...

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered an amazing fact about icebergs...

More below.

Funny unknown historical fact:

Pharoahs were burried with their hands crossed their chest because it was a historical belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Fun fact! a group of crows is called a murder!

cops*

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Fun Fact:

When you say the word "poop" your lips make the same shape as your butthole.

Bonus Fact: the same is true for "Explosive Diarrhoea"

Fact

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence, often goes undetected.

Fun fact about composers!

Did you know the composers of classical music were the rockstars of their time?

It's true!

A lot of the showmanship we associate with popular musicians actually originated among classical composers.

For example, later in his career, Beethoven was known to start all his orchestr...

Funny fact

So there is people that have a fear of long words and it's called
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
And it is also one of the longest words in the dictionary.
Makes me chuckle

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It's a little known fact that most vacuums are gay

They're always coming out of the closet

Interesting fact about Mahatma Gandhi

If you've ever seen the film about Gandhi, you know that he was famous for walking everywhere. But what they don't show in the film is that he was able to do this because he'd built up enormous callouses on his feet. And even though his body was very frail, his Hindu faith and devotion to meditation...

Fun fact about hurricanes...

If it's not from the Hurricagne region of France it's just a sparkling tropical system

It is a little known fact that the Dutch pioneered genetic engineering.

Back in the 80s they had genetically engineered a strain of grain that ended up making musical tones when the wind blew across it.

They trade marked it as Holland Oats.

The United Nations refused to recognize the trade mark, saying "I can't go for that, no can do."

Proof that blondes are not, in fact, dumb.

There was a huge convention where all the guests were blonde. It was decided to prove once and for all that blondes are not really dumb.

They got the smartest blonde in the room up on stage. The announcer asks "What is 100 divided by 10?" The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "Is it s...

Dinosaur Fact

Towards the end of the Jurassic period, the Thesaurus was the first Dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.

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Fun fact

If you cut off all your body hair and laid it end to end you’d be a fucking weirdo

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Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub

(2) I'm banned from Subway

Little known fact: Billy Joel's song "Piano Man"

Is about a man who was bitten by a radioactive piano.

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The fact that there is a highway to hell, and only a staircase to heaven

Says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

Fun Fact: Halloween falls on Friday the 13th this year

Go ahead dumbass, look it up

Fun fact, I actually got a BJ before I had my first kiss.

Yes, I'm that flexible.

When my wife accused me of hating her family and relatives, I replied, "Darling, I don't hate them. In fact..."

"I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

It’s a little known fact that superstar actor Yul Brynner was a huge Liverpool F.C fan. He also refused to use aftershave as it made his skin come up in hives.....

Yul never wore cologne!

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Little known fact...

The first time whale semen was studied by a marine biologist was actually at the request of one particular sperm cell. The following conversation took place.

Sperm: I just want to be taken seriously. I think that reproductive cells are an easy target for crude humor made by the mindless immat...

Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than-

-crashed submarines in the sky.

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Fun fact: you can never find a guy who has sex with fruit by himself

Because they always come in pairs

As a Nevadan, I'm tired of people insinuating that we can't count. We are a great state filled with intelligent people. In fact, I can list off 20 ways we are better than our neighboring states.

Just let me take my shoes and socks off first.

Pun Fact

If you accidentally inhaled an edible… you would have high aspirations.

Fun fact:

When people read "Fun fact" they must click the post

Little known fact, Moses had a motorcycle

It literally says so in the Bible:

"And lo, the roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout Israel"

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Pride Fact: Did you know the Grim Reaper is canonically pansexual?

>!Death comes for us all.!<

Facts of life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he’d be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

Fun fact, koi fish travel in groups of 4.

If attacked, Koi A, B, & C will scatter, leaving behind D Koi.

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The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story,”Excuse me my dear……..my stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom.

The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back ...

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources"

-The Credible Hulk

Fun movie fact: Did you know that the movie "Speed" featuring Keanu had no director?

Because if it had direction, then the movie would be called "Velocity"

It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

It's a well known fact that the acronym SCUBA stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus....

....but a lesser know fact is that TUBA is also an acronym and stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus!

Cake Day Facts- why do we traditionally put candles on a cake?

Because it would be too hard to light them if they were under the cake.

Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on!

"Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."

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Astronomy Fact: You can fit 63 Earths inside Uranus

64 if you relax.

The fact Ozzy has COVID now just shows bats always get their revenge.

(All the best to them, hope he gets to live a long time)

FunFact

The flat earth society members are all around the globe!

An interesting fact about karl marx and Olympics

Karl Marx had a sister named Onya that was an Olympic athlete. She is still honored today, her name is invoked at the start of every foot race.

Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old European song of praise.

It was a Finnish hymn.

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My wife has been trying to hide the fact that she's been masturbating while on her period.

But I caught her red handed!

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.

I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.

I was looking up the history of past US Presidents and I realized a startling fact.

Statistically, an American President has been indicted on an average of more than two felonies.

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Fun fact I was born the same day a Green Day album was released

So, that means two American Idiots came out that day

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Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that

You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.

It's a well known fact that humorists are more intelligent than the run of the mill average joe on the street. It's also a well known fact that it's not always a good idea to flaunt those extra smarts.

One day, the royal court was lounging around in a bored state. Without thinking, the jester suddenly voiced an opinion, "You know, there are times when the apology for an offense is worse than the original action."

The king immediately glowers and says, "If you can't prove that, Jester, I thi...

FUN FACT: if you fart and sneeze at the same time

Your body takes a screenshot

Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

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Women can hide the fact they are horny…

Us guys stick out

It is a known fact that light travels faster than sound.

That's why everyone seems bright until they speak.

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Two interesting facts about me:

1: My Penis is the exact length of two IKEA pencils.

2: I've got a lifetime ban from IKEA!

The fact that Head and Shoulders....

Hasn't made a bodywash called Knees and Toes, really bothers me.

A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien

For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.

This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.

It's a fact that married men live longer than single men,

But single men put up much more of a fight when dying.

Interesting fact: T-Shirt is short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt…

Because of the short arms.

A dad joke was explaining the facts of life

A dad joke was explaining the facts of life to his pun.

"You'll be a dad joke one day when you become apparent after you're full groan."

I’m tired of hearing people say British food tastes awful. In fact, British food is the third most delicious food in the world

The first being French food, and the second is food from all other countries.

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facts

did you know that having too much sex could cause memory loss ?

i remember reading that on the 23 of november 2001 at 9:1:02 am page 36 line 9/11

it wasn't a sunny day in fact it was very cloudy

very...cloudy....

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked…

I’m not sure what freaked him out more – my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

Unshakable Fact # 5

Arguing over a girl's breast size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

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Well known fact.

95% of reddit users are sad lonely wankers....

The other 5% are liars.......

Where are facts from?

From the Factory

It's a little known fact that bears believe in astrology...

It's called The Kodiak.

One of their pickup lines is "Hey honey... what's ursine?"

Andy was sent to prison

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of...

Fun fact about the word "queue"

**Queue** is pronounced from only the letter "q" as the rest four are waiting for their turn!

Fact

Ever feel useless.... Just remember we buy trash bags jst to throw it away

There once was a woman who had 100 children....

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and n...

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It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.

Not even remotely.

(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk ass laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)

I’m not racist, in fact, I love all races!

Even the bad ones.

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Fun fact:

69% of men find a sexual meaning in every joke

A baby is born with no arms or legs and no torso. In fact he is just a head. But his parents loved and adored him and cared for him all through his childhood..

When he turned 18 his dad took him down to the local pub for his first pint of beer. He took his first sip and “whoosh” his torso appeared. He took a second sip and his arms and legs appeared.

He was so excited he stood up and ran outside into the road where he was knocked over by an...

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The facts of life

A papa dog decided to day was the day to teach his son the facts of life. They started their day going for a walk and as they do papa dog comes across some trash cans so he turns to his son and tells him to pay attention as he knocks one down and starts eating from it. The papa dog tells his son "yo...

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For this joke, I'll be using the word "bitch" but first, I want to make it cear that I would never disrespect a woman by calling her that. So no one needs to get offended, as I am simply, in fact, talking about a female dog, ok?

All right, so last night I was fuckin' this bitch and...

Fun fact about myself

I invented the word "plagerism"

When it comes to fact-checking, journalists are lazy.

Source: Wikipedia.

Fact: Xi Jinping once slept in a house in Iowa

After many many year later...

The husband was watching the news and saw an article about Xi Jinping.

He was very very shocked and said to his wife: 'Hey, do you remember that Chinese guy who used to be at our house?'

The wife said: 'Of course I remember, why are you asking?'
...

An unappreciated fact about the road to Hell

It's paved.

Fact: No dog owner talks to their pet in a normal voice.

No they don't, oh no they don't...

10 facts about Diarrhea

#2 will surprise you!

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

fun fact

a group of little girls is called a giggle.

a group of little boys is called trouble.

Fun fact:

If all the veins in your body were to be laid out in a single, straight line

YOU WOULD DIE.

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FACT: 24 astronauts AND the Wright Brothers were born in Ohio.

Something about that crappy state makes people want to flee the Earth.

Wildlife facts

A wildlife biologist walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Did you know that bats actually aren't blind?" he asks the bartender. "Well that makes sense," the bartender agrees. "That must be why they are so good at hitting baseballs."

I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

A man’s wife is very concerned about the horrible dandruff he has, and the fact that he won’t go to the doctor about it.

So she goes to the doctor on his behalf, and she says doctor, my husband has horrible dandruff and he won’t do anything about it and I am at my wits end with the skin flakes all over the bed sheets and pillows, what can I do?

The doctor says, give him head and shoulders, and see if that help...

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Interesting fact:

Before cyanobacteria, the progenitor of photosynthesis, earth was mostly oxygen-poor and dominated by anaerobic (can live in and thrive without oxygen) bacteria. Most of these bacteria were strict anaerobes, meaning oxygen would kill them. After cyanobacteria evolved, earth became flooded with oxyge...

I really hate the fact that after the Queen’s death the Australian coins are being updated..

But then again, I don’t like change.

A round earth fact to a flat-earther is…

…like what thanksgiving is to a turkey

Fun Fact: If you drink the inside of the magic 8 ball, you can see the future.

My friend did it one and he said "I think I'm gonna die."

10 minutes later he actually did!

“The main problem with the internet is that there is no way to validate most facts “

Abraham Lincoln. 1865

The fact that germs enter my body without my consent is wrong.

And to be honest it makes me sick.

Fun fact: did you know that HIV is actually Roman for “high five”?

Pass it on – or, rather, don’t.

Wanna hear a fun fact about the Titanic?

The pool is still full.

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(NSFW) Fact:

The donkey is the only know animal that can reproduce by ass fucking.

I learnt a boring fact about Kamikaze

Its just plain suicide

The fact that some people can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology...

...bugs me in ways I can’t put into words.

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Bizarre Facts no One Knows

1. Most humans were born on their birthday
2. The distance from the Earth to the Sun is the same exact distance from the Sun to the Earth
3. A normal skeleton has enough bones to make an entire skeleton
4. If you took out all your veins and laid them out end to end, you would die.
5. The...

A fact of life:

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF...

Fun Fact: Spiders can tell the difference between someone blowing on their web and the wind.

But that may just be because the wind isn't warm and sticky...

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My wife told me that she’s getting fed up of my boring facts.

“I find them very interesting,” I said.

“Well, who gives a flying fuck?” She said angrily.

“Dragonflies,” I replied.

Fun fact:

No matter how much you try to prevent it, one day you may wake up with a large washbasin knocking on your door.

Just let that sink in.

The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have a high level of…..

Koala-t

Fun fact: the first french fries weren’t made in France

They were made in Greece

Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to wher...

Little known fact: Jesus was most probably a student.

* He still lived with his parents
* Long, uncut hair
* And if he did something for once, it was a miracle.

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Some facts of Zlatan Ibrahimovic:

1 - When he was 10 years old, Zlatan decided to live by himself. And his parents just moved to another house.

2 - Zlatan lost his virginity even before his parents.

3 - One day Zlatan did a test in a lie detector machine. The machine confessed everything.

Arsenal - When Zlatan ...

Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth.

For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise.

Fun fact about sign language

It is the least spoken language on Earth

Fun fact: French tanks in WWII had rear-veiw mirrors.

This allows them to see the frontline too.

I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.

Because I wasn't wearing a condom.

Men will always be more agreeable to the fact...

That having 3 legs is better than 2.

In fact, religious persons are not much different from atheists…

There are 4,000 religions in the world.

A religious person believes that 3,999 religions are wrong.

An atheist believes that 4,000 religions are wrong.

Two facts interesting facts about me: 1) I once knocked out a champion boxer with a single punch

2) I'm now banned from Crufts.

Fun fact of the day

Fun Fact: if every human stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown

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A man and a woman were dating. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing."

He enthusiastically agreed and sped...

Little known fact about William Tell

We all know William Tell for his archery skills, but did you know he was also an avid bowler? His whole family bowled actually, and there was even a league in his area. At the time Joining a team was a difficult , daunting task, but by some fortune he and several relatives made the same team. Unfort...

Fun fact: Having friends gives you memory loss.

I read this in a textbook on page 53 at 4:37 PM on Friday May 12, 2006

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Interesting fact about the Canary Islands

Did you know that there's not a single canary bird on the Canary Islands?

Same holds true for the Virgin Islands.

Not a single canary bird there either.

History Fact!

In the 1700s men were attracted to woman's natural scent. To stop from being accosted by too many gentlemen callers, a product was developed. Perfumey soaps applied to the clothes would remove and mask any odors. A whole new industry sprung up!

That industry? Laundry DeterGents.

Fun history fact...

In 1872 the Welsh invented the condom using the length of a sheep’s intestines.
However in 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the sheep first....

Archaeologists discover that Rome was in fact built in a day

Slackers everywhere suddenly feel a massive obligation to be more productive.

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