My wife is really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

I wasn't always a Flat Earther. In fact, I used to believe the Earth was round...

...until your mom sat on it.

The fact that I had a wonderful childhood really sucks,

because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

It's a little known fact that Erwin Schroedinger was wanted for animal cruelty.

Dead and alive.

The opposite of "pro" is "con"; that fact is clearly seen.

If "progress" means "move forward", then what does "Congress" mean?

It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

A Sunday school teacher asked her class to learn one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each of them what they had found.

Susie said, “He was placed in a manger.”

Bobby said, “He threw money changers out of the temple.”

Little Johnny said, “He has a pick-up truck but doesn’t know how to drive it.”

Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you find that?”

“From my daddy.” He replied. “Yester...

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. ...

Fun fact about Beethoven.

On March 26th, 1827, Ludwig van Beethoven stopped composing, and began decomposing.

I think that anti-vaxxers kids should be able to read the facts and be able to decide if they want to vaccinated or not

The only problem is they never get old enough to read.

An interesting fact about the human body

Did you know, the last thing that happens to your body after you die is your pupils widen? It's because they dilate.

Shovel Facts!

Did you know that the shovel was a ground-breaking invention ?

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I used to accept the fact that when you pee in public, sometimes you get other people's pee on your shoes...

But ever since my sex change operation, I just don't stand for it.

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

Here are some facts about the Mariana Trench

Hang on, they're pretty deep

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After I spend time convincing Flat Earther's that the Earth is in fact a sphere, I give them an orgasm.

You could say I make them come around

Interesting fact: the sun makes up 99.86% of the solar system's mass!

The rest is your mama

I don't get why people think pee is stored in the balls. It is a fact that pee is stored in the BLADDER.

There is a vas deferens between the two.

Want to know the top 10 facts about diarrhoea?

Number 2 will suprise you!

Ten Facts about Diarrhea:

\#2 is gonna surprise you!

Fun fact: did you know that HIV is actually Roman for “high five”?

Pass it on – or, rather, don’t.

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Male gunowners are, in fact, compensating for their manhood.

You can't kill a deer or repel intruders with your dick.

A man was diagnosed with severe iron deficiency anaemia. He decided to take more iron supplements - too much, in fact. A month later, he died from the supplement overdose.

Oh, the irony.

Here a fun fact, the Soviet Union didn’t use land mines,

They used land ours.

Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut. In fact...

Eat two, Brute.

It's a little known fact that Genghis Khan had a brother.

Unfortunately his brother had a terrible skin condition and was banished from his people. Eventually he ended up in Ireland where he was known as Leper Kahn.

Despite the fact that whenever I eat any products with wheat in I get stomach cramps, I still regularly enjoy consuming it.

You could say that I'm a gluten for pun-ishment.

Fact: A lot of women turn into good drivers.

So if you're a good driver, watch out for women who are turning!

99.99% of scientists claim that the Earth is, in fact, round.

Anyways, I lost my job as a scientist today.

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Aliens may in fact be pro bono proctologists from another planet

Uranus , possibly

Fun fact:

No matter how much you try to prevent it, one day you may wake up with a large washbasin knocking on your door.

Just let that sink in.

It's a fact

6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy!!!

Mars Opportunity rover was meant to last 90 days, but the fact that it lasted around 15 years shows that ..

Oppy was OP

Fun fact of the day

Fun Fact: if every human stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown

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I had to go to the Doctors yesterday and having stripped off he immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone...

I explained that it was a family trait and that we all had genitalia-shaped like musical instruments.
He was amazed and said, “Well, in 27 years as a doctor I’ve never seen anything like it.
Having said that I do remember a woman coming in a few years ago and her fanny was shaped like a Mouth ...

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Kid asks his father the difference between theory and fact,

The father thinks for a bit and tells his son that he can't explain it very well but he can give a very simple example. The father instructs his son to ask his mother and sister if they were willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The son does as told and return to his father with ...

It is a proven Scientific fact, that things expand when under immense heat...

I'm not fat, I'm really hot

Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

Fun fact: 7% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

93% of American adults think chocolate milk should come from white male cows.

Fun fact

Tsunami - T is silent

Honest - H is silent

Island - S is silent

After hearing my jokes - Everyone is silent

Funny fact.

Transgender people want us to accept them for who they are.
Yet they couldn't accept themselves for who they were.

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Fun fact: saying the word "poop" makes the same shape with your mouth as your bum hole does when pooing

The same is also true for "explosive diarrhoea"

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Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that

You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.

It’s a little-known fact that, after signing the Declaration of Independence, the Founding Fathers collectively dropped their pants, pointing their posteriors toward England

Thus the motto “E pluribus moon ‘em”

Fun fact: Mr. Spock had three ears:

The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

Three Russians are sitting together in the train that takes them to the Gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they
accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they...

A little known fact about president Trump is that he’s an avid Fortnite fan

What with all the walls being built

True fact

Important Notice :

It's recommended to regular morning walkers to avoid morning walk from 1st to 5th Jan 2019...

Heavy crowd of resolutionary people is expected during this period.

*Situation will get normal from 6th Jan.*

It's a little know fact that the Kraken cannot be owned, only rented.

Re-lease the Kraken.

My wife likes to use the fact that she gave birth to our 3 children to garner sympathy points...

I tell her that they came out of me before they came out of her.

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Three strange facts.

The teacher asked her students:
-can someone please say something unusual but true?
John is the only one who raised his hand:
- the dick is hard, but it has no bones!
-John how can you say something so rude?! Someone else please?
Nobody says nothing but John:
-pussy is wet, and yet...

Facts About Lazy People #389479305784

You were too lazy to read that number

I dont like the fact that the Thailand cave boys have become all famous and mainstream.

I preferred them when they were more Underground

My wife hates the fact that we never have visitors.

I never would have guest

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...

...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

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Interesting Fact: A man invented the tampon

Let that soak in

It's a well-known fact that Hitler...

It's a well-known fact that Hitler often consulted astrologists and people involved in the occult to get direction while Germany fought in World War II.

One day he decided to thank his chief astrologer and called him into his office to say, "we've done really well in the war and I'm grateful...

I'm not sure what confused the mailman more...

the fact that I came to the door naked, or the fact that I knew where he lived.

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Two facts about me not many people know.

1. My dick is as big as 2 Ikea pencils.
2. I'm banned from Ikea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fun Fact

Semen comes out at about 30 mph when you ejaculate. That’s why the cops gets so mad when you jerk off in a school zone

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Three guys find a Genie in the woods...

Three guys are hiking through the woods when they find an old lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms “You have finally freed me after all these years, so I’ll grant each one of you 3 wishes.” The first guy immediately blurts out “I want a billion dollars.” POOF, he’s ...

Where do facts come from?

The factory.

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