A little known fact...

Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story,”Excuse me my dear……..my stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom.

The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back ...

So I said, "As a matter of fact I do. Why does...

Donald Duck walk around all day with no pants on, but after he takes a shower he puts a towel around his waist?" And the waiter said, "No I meant do you have any questions about our menu."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bizarre Facts no One Knows

1. Most humans were born on their birthday
2. The distance from the Earth to the Sun is the same exact distance from the Sun to the Earth
3. A normal skeleton has enough bones to make an entire skeleton
4. If you took out all your veins and laid them out end to end, you would die.
5. The...

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction

So I packed up my stuff and right

So the ISIS leader was killed which is all well and good but it doesn't change the fact

that Prez. Trump had a premature evacuation.

Some cool facts about the names of groups!

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of nuns is called a gaggle.

A group of Catholic Priests is called a Cell Block.

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

There is only one fact I gathered from chemistry.

It was that alcohol is always a solution.

Little known fact: after their supposed death, Pierre and Marie Curie went on to become successful underwater assassins using a certain heavy metal.

Hundreds of people died of mer-Curie poisoning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The fact that there is a highway to hell, and only a staircase to heaven

Says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce

he's a rocket man.

A factory worker died today after falling into a vat of coffee. Police say that although it came as a shock to all who knew him, they may take some relief from the fact he didn't suffer.

It was instant.

Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November

You just can't let anyone cashew

Little known fact, the mods of /r/Jokes are all actually Peruvian owls…

I think they're Inca hoots…

What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore?

The best American Presidents were stoned.

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

How do you upset redditors while also stating a well known fact?

Tell them Left isnt Right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday, an old man came and told me that the fact I am homosexual was againts nature.

I simply replied: “So is your pacemaker”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For the longest time I refused to attend PTA meetings because I couldn't stand the fact that each one ended with an orgy.

But eventually, I had to come on principal.

I know a guy who writes reviews of hippopotamuses despite the fact he always told me he was against rating animals.

He’s a hippo-crit.

I once knew a guy arrested on drug charges, and though he thought he'd get off light, they ended up slapping a bunch of other bogus charges on him, which, added to the fact that his lawyer was one of the worst in the state, eventually led him to being handed a 40 year stint in a max security prison.

That sentence was way too long.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interesting fact about the Canary Islands, they don't have any canaries on them. The same is actually true about the Virgin Islands,

They don't have any canaries on the either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

- Facts don't care about your feelings!

\- Mr. Shapiro, I understand, but you need to open up, I'm your therapist.

I was playing a game of really deep facts with some kitchen objects.

I just finished saying my fact when I hear a knock on the door.

The dishwasher opens it, turns around and looks at me skeptically.

I say to him:"Let that sink in."

How is a fact made?

In a factory.

Fun history fact...

In 1872 the Welsh invented the condom using the length of a sheep’s intestines.
However in 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the sheep first....

Wheres the best place to find facts about african wildlife?

Safari...

History Fact!

In the 1700s men were attracted to woman's natural scent. To stop from being accosted by too many gentlemen callers, a product was developed. Perfumey soaps applied to the clothes would remove and mask any odors. A whole new industry sprung up!

That industry? Laundry DeterGents.

It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

The fact that I had a wonderful childhood really sucks,

because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

A Sunday school teacher asked her class to learn one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each of them what they had found.

Susie said, “He was placed in a manger.”

Bobby said, “He threw money changers out of the temple.”

Little Johnny said, “He has a pick-up truck but doesn’t know how to drive it.”

Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you find that?”

“From my daddy.” He replied. “Yester...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[On the way to the therapist] Me: You’re going to bring up the fact that I always try to predict the future, aren’t you?

Her: Yes.

Me: I knew it!

Fun fact: members of the equine family can send messages to each other by stamping the ground in distinct patterns.

It's their Horse Code.

I wasn't always a Flat Earther. In fact, I used to believe the Earth was round...

...until your mom sat on it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a "for sale" sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and i...

The accident

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, B...

Fun fact about Beethoven.

On March 26th, 1827, Ludwig van Beethoven stopped composing, and began decomposing.

The opposite of "pro" is "con"; that fact is clearly seen.

If "progress" means "move forward", then what does "Congress" mean?

Joe's Talking Trees

Joe was a simple and serious man. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry."

For years Joe impressed his fellow neighbors with the highest quality carpentry work. Some people in town complained he was a bit too expensive, but no one ever...

Bought a universal remote controller the other day and i was very disappointed that it did not in fact control the universe.

Not even remotely.

Here are some facts about the Mariana Trench

Hang on, they're pretty deep

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father...

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guya are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp...

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." ...

It's a little known fact that Erwin Schroedinger was wanted for animal cruelty.

Dead and alive.

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

I think that anti-vaxxers kids should be able to read the facts and be able to decide if they want to vaccinated or not

The only problem is they never get old enough to read.

Interesting fact: the sun makes up 99.86% of the solar system's mass!

The rest is your mama

An interesting fact about the human body

Did you know, the last thing that happens to your body after you die is your pupils widen? It's because they dilate.

I don't get why people think pee is stored in the balls. It is a fact that pee is stored in the BLADDER.

There is a vas deferens between the two.

I’ve never understood the stereotype that Asian people are good at math,

so I decided to test it out.

I went up to at least 100 different people in China and asked them a couple of math questions

The first was “What is 109 squared?”. Around 68% of them answered correctly, which I was shocked about.

Then I asked “If 2 lengths of a triangle are 37 and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy and his grandpa

One day a boy’s grandpa was watching TV and drinking a beer.

He sat down and asked if he could have some of the beer.

“Is your wiener long enough to touch your butthole?”
“Nope.”

“Then you’re too young to share my beer,” his grandpa chuckled

A couple of weeks later...

Fun fact: did you know that HIV is actually Roman for “high five”?

Pass it on – or, rather, don’t.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Male gunowners are, in fact, compensating for their manhood.

You can't kill a deer or repel intruders with your dick.

A man walks into the store to buy condoms

Cashier: This is your third time buying condoms this week! What's your secret?

Man: what can I say, the ladies love me. In fact , Ive probably slept with every girl in this county except my sister and my mother.

Cashier: Huh. Well between the two of us we've got 'em all then!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well ...

A chemistry professor posted a bonus question to an exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After I spend time convincing Flat Earther's that the Earth is in fact a sphere, I give them an orgasm.

You could say I make them come around

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"


She tu...

A man was married to a woman named Lorraine but had a mistress named Clairee.

One day, his wife left him. He wasn't too upset. In fact, he began to sing:

"I can see Clairee now, Lorraine is gone."

Sorry... I'll see myself out...

Ten Facts about Diarrhea:

\#2 is gonna surprise you!

Here a fun fact, the Soviet Union didn’t use land mines,

They used land ours.

If I’m gonna be honest, idk what’s worse, the fact that people make money by playing fortnite

Or the fact that fortnite makes even MORE money off these people playing fortnite.

Jokes are like frogs

Because if you dissect them, they die.
Except to use the word "dissect" implies the frog or joke in question is already dead. The correct word choice would be "vivisect," which is the equivalent of a dissection, but with the animal (or joke) still alive. Much like a dissection, vivisections are u...

I don't hate my wife's relatives.

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives.
I replied, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent scientific study reveals that women have cleaner minds than men.

This, scientists say is basically due to the fact that they change them every fucking 10 seconds or so.

Despite the fact that whenever I eat any products with wheat in I get stomach cramps, I still regularly enjoy consuming it.

You could say that I'm a gluten for pun-ishment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The priest and the nun.

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke.
'Well, Sister, this looks prett...

An Irish Painter

An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar,
was a gifted portrait artist.

Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all
over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown in County Clare, to
get him to paint their likenesses.

One ...

Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:



1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

The elderly woman goes to the doctor..

She says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s sil...

Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut. In fact...

Eat two, Brute.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are caught smuggling alcohol into Saudi Arabia

As it's a "dry" country, the men are brought before a judge.

Judge: "Under normal circumstances, the penalty for smuggling is death. However, it's a national holiday and I'm feeling generous, so you'll each receive 20 lashings."

As he says this, his wife approaches the judge and whispe...

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his ...

It's a little known fact that Genghis Khan had a brother.

Unfortunately his brother had a terrible skin condition and was banished from his people. Eventually he ended up in Ireland where he was known as Leper Kahn.

Fun fact of the day

Fun Fact: if every human stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aliens may in fact be pro bono proctologists from another planet

Uranus , possibly

Fun fact:

No matter how much you try to prevent it, one day you may wake up with a large washbasin knocking on your door.

Just let that sink in.

99.99% of scientists claim that the Earth is, in fact, round.

Anyways, I lost my job as a scientist today.

A man creates the smartest AI and presents it to the UN, boasting it can solve any problem

“Oh yeah?” Said the president of the United States. “Ok how do we solve poverty?”

“Calculating” said the AI, moments later printing out a sheet of paper for the UN to read.

Leaders from all over the world applied the proposals on the paper and in a month everyone starts living a bett...

Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid asks his father the difference between theory and fact,

The father thinks for a bit and tells his son that he can't explain it very well but he can give a very simple example. The father instructs his son to ask his mother and sister if they were willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The son does as told and return to his father with ...

[long] The confession

Hi Bob,

This is Alan next door. I am sorry buddy, but
I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled
with guilt these past few months and have been trying
to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face,
but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myselfva ...

Here is Finland, Netflix is geo-restricted and has very few shows

In fact, I just finnished watching everything.

Halloween every year is awful.

Kids do not stop coming to my door for candy. Left and right, I have to say “I’m sorry. I don’t give out candy” so much that I just put a sign in my yard telling everyone this fact. However, they see lights and still come knocking on my door. This year, I’m going to do what I should have done years...

Zebra dies and goes to heaven...

As he approaches the pearly gates of heaven St Peter approaches the zebra and asks “Welcome to heaven, do you have any questions before you enter?”

The zebra replies “Yes I do, something has been bothering me my whole life.”

Peter replies “What is it? Ask me anything!”

“Am I bl...

Cindy and Lucy were to high-powered DC lawyers.

They had been childhood friends, gone to the same law school, and gone into partnership together. Through their hard work, they became well known in the DC area and bumped elbows with politicians.

One summer, they decided to hold a fourth of july party and invite all the members of congress....

Mars Opportunity rover was meant to last 90 days, but the fact that it lasted around 15 years shows that ..

Oppy was OP

Fun fact

Tsunami - T is silent

Honest - H is silent

Island - S is silent

After hearing my jokes - Everyone is silent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that

You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.

It's a fact

6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy!!!

I met an older woman at a bar last night.

She looked pretty good for a lady who must have been in her 60s. In fact she wasn't bad at all! I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers and then she asked me if I'd ever had a "Sportsmans Double". "What's that?" I asked. "It's a mother and da...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

THREE DEAD MEN

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Du...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to go to the Doctors yesterday and having stripped off he immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone...

I explained that it was a family trait and that we all had genitalia-shaped like musical instruments.
He was amazed and said, “Well, in 27 years as a doctor I’ve never seen anything like it.
Having said that I do remember a woman coming in a few years ago and her fanny was shaped like a Mouth ...

A granddad walks up to a priest to make a confession...

A granddad walks up to a priest to make a confession.


\- Dear Father, forgive me for I have sinned - I hid a jewish family in my cellar during the war.
\- But this isn't a sin, in fact you have done a god thing!
\- But father, I charged them 100 euros per week!
\- Well yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there was a competition for saggy tits, my wife would beat everyone.

In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.

Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculatio...

Muhammad Ali has two boys.

Both of them head strong and talented like their father, vigorously passionate about their sport. But neither of them took a liking to boxing. They actually had an uncanny knack for driving, or rather, the opposite of driving. They could put a car into perfect position flawlessly every time, even in...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.