UPJOKE
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Her: How come I always go down on you, but you never go down on me?

Him: My financial adviser told me not to.

Her: Your financial adviser told you not to lick my pussy?

Him: Yeah. He said if I keep eating out all the time, I'll always be broke.

My friend and I frequently give conjugal visits to an all-female prison, to remind the inmates what it's like for a selfless guy to go down on them.

It just gives us some scents of perp puss.

A samurai’s wife asks him to go down on her

He responded it’s Bushydo

What's it taste like when you go down on old people?

Depends

What does waitress tell when you just go down on her?

- Everything tasting good so far?

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I want to go down on you and make you happy. Then I want come back up slowly and fuck you hard...

Sincerely,

Gas prices

What do you call hillbillies who go down on their relatives?

Munchkins.

NSFW: Why don't old men go down on old women?

Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl

Momma always taught me to eat my vegetables.

How often does the vampire go down on his wife?

Periodically

I’m gonna go down on you slowly... then when you’re enjoying it the most, I’ll work my way back up and f*ck you hard.

With love,
Gas Prices

What do you call Batman who leaves after you ask him to go down on you?

Christian Bale

I only go down on country girls.

With me, everything's gotta be farm-to-table.

What does Audrey Hepburn say when you go down on her?

How *kind* of you to let me come.

I haven’t had a server go down on me that long

since New Year at Hooters.
Edit for explanation: https://techcrunch.com/2016/08/11/reddit-is-currently-experiencing-a-major-outage/

I had another server go down on me at work.

It’s just how I interview waiting staff.

What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic?

Meals on wheels

Ben and Tim want to go drink in a bar (NSFW)

Problem is, they have no money. "No problem" says Ben, "I have a cunning plan. Take this sausage and put it in your boxer. We go into the bar, drink a couple of beer and when they come with the tab you open your pant and let the sausage out. I go down on it and they will kick us out and we won't hav...

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I am going to go down on you, make you feel reall good. Then I'll slowly come back up and fuck you.

Lots of love, Petrol prices.

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Guy gets a hotel room and asks for a hooker

A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.

The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.

The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.

"Hi honey, ho...

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A guy decides to go down on a prostitute for no reason…

He's having fun until he feels like he's got a piece of food stuck in his teeth. Sure enough, he pulls out a little bit of broccoli.

"That's strange, I don't remember the last time I ate broccoli."

He keeps going and again, something stuck in his teeth. Carrots.

"It's been a rea...

You might be a redneck if your girlfriend can pack a lip and go down on you at the same time...

...and still know what to spit and what to swallow.

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

A guy walks up to a girl in the bar with his fist closed and says........I will go down on you if you can guess what I have in my hand.

The girl says........The empire state building.

The guy says..........That's close enough.

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