Suffer Jokes - 100 Hilarious Suffer Jokes

A fortune teller told me that, in 12 years time, I'd suffer terrible heartbreak.

So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy.

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A guy is constantly suffering from terrible headaches...

A guy is constantly suffering from terrible headaches. He goes to a bunch of doctors, runs any test imaginable, and no one can figure out why. One day a doctor tells him- “I think we figured out a solution, but you’re not going to like it. If we cut off your balls, the constant headache will stop”. ...

How many Alzheimer's sufferers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack amidst the Ukraine crisis, and falls into a coma...

... A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard.

He walks out of the hospital onto the streets of Moscow, and finds that most people don't recognize him. Several years of vegetative coma seem to have taken its toll on his appe...

A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.

I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!

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Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to rem...

Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea.

That means one person enjoys it

To all those suffering from Paranoia

You are not alone.

Two of the wealthiest men in the world suffer from ED. They team up to make a new drug and call it...

Elongates

1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness.

So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.

My mum suffers with short term memory loss

Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too

"My wife suffers from a drinking problem"

"Is she an alcoholic?"

"No I am, but she is the one who suffers"

Do you suffer from mesothelioma?

If so, your lawyers could be entitled to millions of dollar.

Do you suffer from anxiety that an intruder may be hiding in your room?

You're not alone.

An actor suffering from dementia just hit my car. I got him arrested..

As he was getting arrested he kept saying “do you know who I am???”

America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president.

You could say they are going toupée for it.

My doctor told me that I was suffering from paranoia

He didn't actually say that but I knew what he was thinking.

What is a tinnitus sufferer's least favourite piece of jewellery?

Earrings.

Just got out of a relationship where He said that if I don’t love him my life will be miserable and I will suffer forever.

That’s why I’m converting out of Christianity.

Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome

John: I didn't even know I was I'll

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your...

To everyone suffering from anxiety: you are not alone!

There's someone behind you.

A survey found that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea

That must mean that one dude actually enjoys it.

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What is the sentence you can say after funeral and after sex?

She didn't suffer for too long,

I suffer from crippling narcissism.

I'm a victim of it.

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up

I now suffer from anxiety and depression

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I told my therapist that I was suffering from affluenza.

He diagnosed me with delusions of grandeur.

Why are so many New Yorkers suffering from depression?

Because for them, the "light at the end of the tunnel" is New Jersey.

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a healthy diet

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans....

Help, I took medicine to clear congestion and I’m still suffering with it.

It’s 6 am and I hate traffic so much.

The churches in town were all suffering from a squirrel problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they certainly should not interfere with God’s will.

At the Baptist church, the squirre...

What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who’s also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?

A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

I went to the doctor and told him I suffer from amnesia

"Since when?" he asked me.

"Since when what?"

Doctor: I am afraid you are suffering from Tom Jones syndrome.

Patient: Is it common?

Doctor: It's not unusual.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”

Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”

Doctor: “Nine.”

You know, there was this IQ test designer suffering from the worst writer's block

He'd make decent progress, working out patterns like 'circle-3, triangle-2...' but no matter what, he always found himself going back to 'square-1'.

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A man is suffering from the worst headaches...

From about age 14, a man has been getting more and more intense headaches. They started mildly annoying, but have been consistently getting worse month after month, year after year.

Finally, after about 7 years of troublesome headaches turning into bothersome headaches, turning into debilita...

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Do you suffer from chronic masturbation?

As a therapist i can help. We can beat it together.

My dad suffers from seizures...

...so far they've taken his car, his house and his boat

My doctor asked if I suffer from insanity.

I replied: No, I enjoy every minute of it.

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It's hard to keep a girlfriend when you suffer from premature ejaculation.

Easy cum, easy ghost.

A man woke from a coma at the hospital after suffering a terrible accident

He began yelling "Doctor, please help! I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor said, "That's because we had to amputate both your arms."

I suffer from CDO.

It’s OCD with the letters in the correct order.

What’s the best Chuck Norris joke you’ve ever heard?

My personal favorite is: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died

The Bad News is that I suffer chronic insomnia

...but the Good News - just two more sleeps 'til Christmas.

A farmer and a necromancer sit in a bar and lament their suffering

Famer: raising a family is hard.

Necromancer: not if they're buried close enough to each other. With planning and skill, a single spell is all it takes

Farmer: what?

Necromancer: what?

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer

the agony of defeat.

What did the doctor say to the patient suffering from a bacterial infection?

Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well

The doctor asked Fred if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

Fred replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it."

I suffer from separation anxiety.

My wife's left me and I'm terrified she'll come back.

Why did the drug addict suffer an overdose of cocaine?

Because he crossed the line...

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Some people must be suffering from mental diarrhea...

...because every time they say they have an idea, it's usually shit.

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My doctor said I am suffering from paranoia and constipation

I'm scared shitless

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Three men all suffer an untimely death on the very same day.

They all wind up in purgatory and each has a sneaking suspicion that they will unfortunately end up in Hell for their various evil deeds committed on Earth. As this thought occurs to each of them, Satan suddenly appears before the three men. Much to their delight, Satan offers each of them one final...

If you are suffering from acute depression, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed....

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

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During his routine medical check, the long suffering patient asked the doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?"

"I doubt it", said the doctor, "Mercury is in Uranus right now."

The patient said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."

“Neither do I", replied the doctor, "My thermometer just broke in your ass."

BREAKING: Stevie Wonder suffers major laceration in horrible accident

The wound too big for regular stitches, doctors were forced to use very super stitches

"My relationship with golf is starting to suffer"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah.. We're going through a rough patch"

My friend told me he suffers from extreme paranoia...

I told him don't worry you're not alone

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A Man Suffered from a 3rd degree burn in his face...

So his Wife donated a piece of her butt skin for surgery. After that He got his cheeks again and Asked his Wife how he can repay her ever again. She said dear when I see your mother and sisters kissing my Ass It well be more that enough of a reward.

People who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer...

Aaron: In conclusion, people who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer, ...

Mark: In conclusion, people who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer.

Aaron: ...mark my words.

Far too many trees suffer from little dog syndrome

All bark and no bite

Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?

It’s a site for sore eyes.

Does anyone else suffer from autophobia...

Or is it just me?

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Tom suffers from severe constipation.

After years of searching around and trying every method and medication under the sun, he finally finds the only medicine that works.

One day, he goes to his doctor to get his prescription.

"I can't give it to you, sorry," says the good doctor.

So Tom runs around the city checkin...

What does the agnostic dyslexic insomniac suffer from?

He lies awake every night wondering if there is a dog.

I'm $20 away from ending my sick mother's suffering

Should cost that for a decent soundproof pillow

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
...

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm suffering from deja vu

Didn't I see you yesterday?

I formed a support group for people who suffer from Agoraphobia.

Unfortunately it didn't work out. Everyone wanted to have it at their place.

What does a president who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

I'm a man that suffers from PMS.

The wife gets it . . . . . I suffer

Russian literature is built on suffering.

Either the character suffers, the author suffers, or the reader suffers. If all three are suffering, then it's considered a Russian masterpiece.

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My new girlfriend just found out I suffer from premature ejaculation

She took it on the chin though.

To all the Europeans suffering from the current heat wave, here is a reminder to stay strong.

Your ancestors colonized entire countries in much higher temperatures.

My doctor sent me for a prostate exam to the nearest hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called in the office and patiently suffered through the very personal examination.

When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked a question that sent shivers down my soul: “Who the heck was that?”

I've been suffering from amnesia...

Or was it dyslexia?

All I know is that I can't remember it and I sure as hell can't spell it.

Why did the skeptic suffer from high blood pressure?

He was taking everything with a grain of salt.

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I previously suffered from premature ejaculation my GF got me some cream that reduces sensitivity

It 100% totally work's now i don't give a fuck about that bitch.

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The woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from...

...knee pains.

“Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?”,

asked the doctor.

“Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style.”

“I see,” said the doctor. “You know, there are plenty of other sexual positions?”

“Not ...

What do philosophers suffering from dyslexia and insomnia do?

Keep up at night wondering whether dog exists

What does a person obsessed with IKEA suffer from?

Stock-home Syndrome

I feel terrible for people suffering from vertigo.

They don't know what's up.

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COVID sufferers are an arrogant bunch.

They think their shit doesn't stink.

Do you suffer from an addiction to water?

Can you not live without your water?

Do you try to quit, and come back to drinking water again?

Do you suffer from any of the following withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit?

* Headache?
* Fatigue?
* Dry throat?
* Dry mouth?
* Darker urine?
* Craving more water...

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I am suffering from both delayed ejaculation and incontinence.

So I can neither come or go.

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My premature ejaculation sufferers support meetings were going so well

I decided to stop coming.

A patient suffering from dementia is rolled into ER.

Doctor asks : "Who is the President of the United States of America?"

Patient answers : "Who is the President of the United States of America?"

I'm suffering from deja moo.

It's the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I suffer from a heart disease that only afflicts liars.

IFib

Unfortunately my Grandfather passed away after suffering from a short illness.

He had Dwarfism

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Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault

After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.

Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.

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I went to a self help group for people that suffer from Premature Ejaculation last night

They said to get there at 7 but I came early.

If men suffer from shrinkage when cold, ...

. . . do women clam shut?

What type of chips suffer from allergies?

Nachoos

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I suffer from delayed ejaculation.

It's been 17 years now.

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Big Chief was suffering from constipation for over a week...

He hadn't laid a log in what felt like forever and this caused him great frustration, pain and discomfort. In great desperation, he decides to visit the tribe's witch doctor in the hope of finally loosening his bowels.

The witch doctor let's him in and says "Hey there Big Chief, to what do I ...

An old Jewish man is lying in his deathbed with his tearful wife by his side.

An old Jewish man is lying in his deathbed with his tearful wife by his side.

"Moira, beautiful Moira. You were with me many years ago when the Germans took our home and so many of us suffered" to which his wife simply nodded.

"And years later, you were with me when my business failed...

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They're making a movie about a Scotland yard inspector suffering from chronic constipation ...

... titled, No Shit Sherlock.

What does the writer suffer from each spring?

A case of allegories

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