A man and his wife are traveling to Jerusalem for vacation. After getting there, his wife suffers a heart attack and dies. Officials in Jerusalem say it will cost $30,000 to send her back to the US to be buried, or only $500 if they bury her there. The man thinks about it and returns the next day...

He says to the officials, “Okay, although expensive, I’ll pay the $30,000 to bring her home. I heard that you buried a man here once and he rose from the dead 3 days later and I just can’t take any chances.”

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Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches; the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your s...

People are so rude when they suffer from kidney failure

It's like they have no filter

Why do chickens often suffer from cabin fever?

Because they are always being cooped up.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer with depression in their lifetime

Does that mean one actually enjoys it?

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What did the man who suffers with premature ejaculation say whilst playing hide and seek?

Ready or not, here I cum!

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People who say they suffer from constipation

are full of shit.

I suffer from CDO.

It’s OCD with the letters in the correct order.

What does a person obsessed with IKEA suffer from?

Stock-home Syndrome

Do you suffer from an addiction to water?

Can you not live without your water?

Do you try to quit, and come back to drinking water again?

Do you suffer from any of the following withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit?

* Headache?
* Fatigue?
* Dry throat?
* Dry mouth?
* Darker urine?
* Craving more water...

A young guy suffers from debilitating headaches (slightly long)

After going through many tests over several months the doctor says the only way to cure them is to cut off his balls. After another couple months the pain is so great the patient finally agrees to the operation. A week after the operation the patient is super depressed and asks the doctor what he c...

A dyslexic agnostic man who suffers from insomnia

lays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

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They say a lot of guys suffer from premature ejaculation

But its actually the women that suffer.

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My boyfriend suffers from premature ejaculation.

It's his shortcoming.

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."...

...Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

If men suffer from shrinkage when cold, ...

. . . do women clam shut?

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My new girlfriend just found out I suffer from premature ejaculation

She took it on the chin though.

Does one really suffer from having an inflated ego?

...or is it the greatest disease anyone could possibly ever have, ever?

Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome

John: I didn't even know I was I'll

Which city suffers from PTSD?

Warsaw.

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Studies show that 6 in 10 people suffer from sudden bursts of anger.

The other 4 are FUCKING WANKERS.

What does the writer suffer from each spring?

A case of allegories

The doctor said I’d suffer with erectile dysfunction...

But it hasn’t given me a hard time

What has four legs, two mouths, is very scary and has the power to make a man suffer indescribable torment?

My pregnant wife.

Mr. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat.

While he is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which he was keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.

He is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one o...

Do you suffer from schizophrenia?

Just remember you're not alone

My mum suffers with short term memory loss

Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too

My friend who suffers from bipolar disorder called from the lobby.

He said, "Hey, I'm feeling great today. You want to go do something?"

I said, "Sure! I'll be down in a minute."

He said, "Well, that makes two of us."

Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.

Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it??

America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president.

You could say they are going toupée for it.

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So I was listening to the radio the other day and an ad came on: “Do you suffer from premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction?”

And I thought to myself, “No but my girlfriend probably does.”

1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness.

So, if you look around and you don’t see the other 4 people, they’re out having fun without you.

What did the recently reprieved prisoner suffer from?

Post-pardon depresson

I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.

I'll call it Leper-Con.

Half price admission for the wee folk.

My mom suffers from short-term memory loss

I hope it's nothing genetic because I'm worried since my mom suffers from short-term memory loss

I heard the 3 out of 5 people suffer from cancer

The other 2 must be enjoying it!

“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”

“Oh is she an alcoholic?”

“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”

Some people suffer from ailments that are innappropriate to joke about; however

Obesity is something to be made light of.

If you suffer from mental illness, it always helps to remember you are not alone.

Unless the mental illness is schizophrenia

What type of chips suffer from allergies?

Nachoos

A man's wife suffers from a drinking problem...

One night, a bored bartender looks down the bar to see a depressed-looking man against the wall, nursing his drink. His face is so downcast that his face practically droops into his glass.

The bartender walks up to him and asks if he would like a refill. The man looks up, and accepts. As the ...

Which sub never suffers from reposts?

r/Jokes

I suffer from tinnitus and my least favorite letter in the alphabet is...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I read that 1 in 5 women suffer from mental illness

so I guess that means the other 4 must enjoy it.

I don't suffer from split-personality...

...and neither do I

My dad suffers from bowel incontinence, and so do I ...

It runs in my jeans.

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I suffer from delayed ejaculation.

It's been 17 years now.

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Why do more women suffer from hemorrhoids than men?

Because when God created man, he created the perfect asshole.

I used to suffer from delusions that I was a bland, flavourless cut of meat...

but now I'm cured.

Good thing that Michael J. Fox doesn't also suffer from Hayfever.

He's married to Tracy Pollan.

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I'm writing some erotica that deals with nymphomaniac Xenomorphs that suffer with insomnia.

They cum mostly at night, mostly.

The doctors say I suffer from insanity, but they have it all wrong.

I enjoy every minute of it.

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The Problem with Speaking English

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer f...

i used to suffer from chronic adhd

as i was saying bacon makes everything better.

My doctor told me I suffer from Anorexia...

... like it's not enough that I'm fat.

Why did the Indian girl suffer so much when she broke her leg?

She was in the wrong cast.

"My relationship with golf is starting to suffer"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah.. We're going through a rough patch"

Study says that 1 in 3 people suffers from short term memory

Study says that 1 in 3 people suffers from short term memory

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I organised a party for men who suffer from premature ejaculation...

There's no strict dress code, just come in your pants.

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

A middle aged woman suffers a heart attack...

... and meets God before being revived. He tells her not to worry; she's got at least 40 more years of life ahead of her.

Upon waking from surgery, she decides that with all that time left, and since she's at the hospital anyway, she'll get some cosmetic surgery... a face lift, a nose job, br...

A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...

he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.

I suffer from a mental condition where I am unconciously forced to ask for food in the wrong sequence, and sometimes I just plain ask for things that aren't on the menu, anyway...

It's a this order disorder disorder disorder.

Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack

mainly because their hearts are already broken

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My friend is blind and ignorant to the pain so many people suffer of having burning shits after eating spicy food.

What an insensitive asshole.

A hero named "Super Cal" suffers from a slight weakness that curses his own body. However, he does have a certain strength. It's, unfortunately, his bad breath that makes him fairly unattractive.

So, basically..."Super Cal is fragile-ish except for Halitosis"

My girl told me she's depressed. Because of her weight, she suffers discrimination.

I told her "Just ignore them. You're bigger than that."

What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from?

Reptile disfunction

What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from?

Hot flashbacks

What type of dog suffers from being inbred?

A hotdog