Fried Egg Jokes - 13 Hilarious Fried Egg Jokes

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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once.

TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to sal...

If you had a Fried Egg for breakfast yesterday, what should you have today?

A Sattered Egg.

Doctor to patient: "We have to transfer you to the isolation ward..."

Doctor to patient: "We have to transfer you to the isolation ward because you are highly contagious. There you will get pizza and fried eggs”
Patient: "Will this make me well?"
Doctor: "No, I'm sorry, but that's the only things that can be slipped under the door."

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Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

What do you want for breakfast?

There were two elderly people who were trying to decide what to have for breakfast. Keep this in mind: because of their age, neither of them have the greatest memory anymore.

The husband asks the wife, "what do you want for breakfast?"

The wife responds, "Oh... just a bowl of oatmeal w...

Bartender

A man walks into a night club one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One Cent?", exclaimed the man.
So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?"
"Certainly Sir,"...

A man walked into a psychiatrist's office with a pancake on his head...

... a fried egg on each shoulder, and a piece of bacon over each ear.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the psychiatrist.
The man said: "I'm worried about my brother."

A guy is tending bar at a local pub one afternoon...

And a guy walks in with a fried egg on his head. He sits at the bar and orders a beer, drinks it, pays and leaves.

Next day around the same time, the same guys comes in - fried egg on his head - orders a beer, drinks it, pays and leaves.

This goes on for about a week. The guy with the ...

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What does a man with a 12 inch penis have for breakfast?

Well, today I had waffles, 2 fried eggs, bacon and a cup of coffee.

An American tourist is traveling in Thailand and stops over in a small border village for a meal. While the inside of the restaurant is rather small and modest, it does have a beautifully designed ant farm covering most of one wall. Curious, he asks the old man running the restaurant about it.

“Ah,” says the old man. “I use the ant eggs to make a dish called maengman chom. The Cambodians who visit here especially love it; they spend so many riel on it that I had that display made to show off the ants. It’s a specialty of mine; would you like to try some?”

“Ant eggs are a little exo...

A wife talking to her neighbor: Wife: my husband went to get some pasta and got hit with a bus. neighbor: oh God! What did you do?

Wife: I made some fried eggs and Called it a day.

An older couple is watching tv...

And the man stands up and says, "I'm going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?"
His wife answers, "yes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkes."
The man starts to leave, when his wife says, "Honey, are you sure you don't want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to...

An older couple were having a hard time remembering things..

They arrived home from a walk and after a few minutes watching Television, the wife suddenly looks at her husband and says to him:

"You know, I could really go for some icecream! Would you mind going to the kitchen and getting me some?"

Her husband, always happy to be kind, walks to th...

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