[Long] I was working the register of a pharmacy when a woman came up to me asking for breath mints.

I pointed her to the candy aisle and told her they were about halfway down on the left.

She said that she'd been down there already, and that all of the mints had loads of sugar in them, and if she them they'd make her hyper and overly excited.

I had never heard of anyone getting too e...

I fondly remember the good times of living in the Netherlands eating egg yolk based sauces

... ahhhh the hollandaise

A guy was eating breakfast before a final exam

For good luck, he was going to eat one long peice of bacon representing a 1 and two eggs representing the two 0s making a 100.

But after he ate the bacon and took a bite out of the first egg, he found out it had two yolks in it.

He thought about it for a second a decided not eat the se...

The Yolks

just white themselves

Why are people that don’t eat yolks racist?

...They always want to separate the whites.

What sound does a drinking egg make?

Yolk yolk yolk yolk

what does an egg call it’s suburban hometown?

new yolk city

How to know if there's more than one yolk in an egg?

You can use an eggs-ray.

What is it called when you crack an egg and two yolks come out?

An anomalette

Have you heard of this Humpty Dumpty guy?

He's not all he's cracked up to be; I heard he had a breakdown or something. His life is in pieces and feels like it's just one big yolk, now.

This is no yolk

A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.

The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"

The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off

Years ago I made friends with an egg yolk that was extremely shy.

But over time I helped it come out of it's shell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Farmer's Daughter

On a cold rainy evening, a salesman's car ran out of gas. Not wanting to spend the night in the car, the man sought help. Within 5 minutes the salesman spotted a barn yard light and proceeded to it. He knocked on the house door and an older farmer greeted him there.

The salesman explained he ...

Imagine if roosters laid eggs.

So many dad yolks at our disposal.

Every recipe for meatballs I find says to crack open a couple of eggs into some ground beef.

I guess that's why the two yolk is always in the cow mince

Wanna hear a joke about eggs?

Nah, you'll crack up because my yolks, are egg-celent. Note: I've told this joke at least 12 dozen times

*true story. I dropped an egg on my feet while cooking breakfast

I guess the yolk's on me...

I got Food poisoning from eating raw eggs

Salmonella isn’t a yolk, I hope this is over easy..I’m feeling all scrambled.

Redditors are like eggs

They come in many different colours and sizes, but deep down they all have the same yolks.

A very smooth talking cow

Grazed in a pasture near the chicken coop. The most delicious plants, the spearmint leaves, sat at the edge of the fence where the chickens perched. Whenever the cow would come by she'd eat the leaves, and then smooth talk the chickens with her minty fresh breath. The chickens would eventually ge...

Timmy Got a Job!

Timmy boy, a young hobo who left home in search for wealth, got his 14th job in the 3 months he has been traveling. His first shift at Bob’s Animal Candies Inc. started at 9 am, Tuesday. After working for hours at the breath fresheners’ line, he began to get bored, so Timmy decided to take a break t...

An egg was on stage

He was telling lots of eggcelent yolks that made the crowd crack up

Old farmer Joe is checking on his chickens

He notices that one of his chickens, Betty, is producing more eggs than any other chicken on the farm. What’s even more interesting is that they all look identical: same little freckle on the top, same patterns, even exactly the same colour! “This really is unusual,” he exclaims, and decides to inve...

An American tourist is traveling in Thailand and stops over in a small border village for a meal. While the inside of the restaurant is rather small and modest, it does have a beautifully designed ant farm covering most of one wall. Curious, he asks the old man running the restaurant about it.

“Ah,” says the old man. “I use the ant eggs to make a dish called maengman chom. The Cambodians who visit here especially love it; they spend so many riel on it that I had that display made to show off the ants. It’s a specialty of mine; would you like to try some?”

“Ant eggs are a little exo...

Not a joke...

What did one egg white say to the other egg white?

There’s no yolk here.

I only eat the center of the egg.

Just yolking.

Can I tell you an egg joke? Its gonna “crack” you up!

Sorry I got so eggcited I forgot what the yolk was.

What did the egghead say to the pothead?

"Why are you laughing? Is it the yolk?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a Redditor decided to turn his life around...

The Redditor decided to buy a cookbook that came with the ingredients for a cake. He preheated the oven. He added in the butter and sugar; things were going well. The Redditor read out the instructions: ‘Add vanilla and eggs’. He added in the vanilla and cracked open an egg... nothing came out. He g...

How do chickens become comedians?

By having more than one good yolk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are in a plane...

They get bored and decide to throw stuff out the hatch/door. First guy took an egg and tossed it. Watched, watched, and nothing happened. Second guy took a rock and threw it. Watched, watched, and nothing happened. Third guy took a grenade and tossed it. Watched, watched, and nothing happened.
A...

What did Humpty Dumpty say to his girlfriend when she said they were breaking up?

Is this some sort of yolk?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the cell brother say to his cell sister when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went to visit his 90 year old Grandfather

A man went to visit his 90 year old Grandfather. His Grandfather lived in a very remote, secluded, rural area of the state. After spending the night at the house, his Grandfather prepared a breakfast of eggs and bacon. As the man was eating he noticed a film like substance on the plate, and he asked...

Why does r/jokes smell like rotten eggs?

Because it's full of bad yolks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an egg that always gets picked on?

The butt of every yolk :(

I once found an egg with two chickens in it

That was my best yolk.

Vegans can be so uptight.

They should learn to take a yolk.

Why are eggs so good at humor?

Because they have running yolks.

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

Three German artillerymen were on probation for lackluster performance.

To secure continued enlistment in the military, they had to take a test that involved firing an egg out of a cannon, towards their commanding officer. They needed to use the smallest angle necessary to fire the egg in a way that didn't hit their CO.

The first man fired too low and hit the CO...

A German went to the store to pick up some eggs. But all the eggs at the store were rotten.

I guess you could say it was a bad yolk.

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