Egypt Jokes

They are called mummy jokes.

Because they are too big to transport to British museums

They were too heavy to steal and put in a British museum.

Ages of neglect and pillaging have caused one of them to fall into utter disrepair. The other is in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be the Pharaoh Roche.

They come across a pyramid and inside it is a mummy. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.

... read more

A toot uncommon!

His name: Pharaoh rocher

They used Pharaoh Moans

While in the way, they encountered a red light at cross road junction, which the driver didn't stop for. The tourist said " Why didn't you stop?", To which the driver answered " Relax, I'm a professional and i know what i'm doing". The same thing happened again, the tourist asked the same question a... read more

"Cairo"practors

The first goes to a family in Egypt, which names him Ahmal.

The second goes to a family in Spain, which names him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Excited at receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a pictur... read more

One of the world's oldest joke was found in the Ancient Egyptian story book known as the Westcar Papyrus

It goes:

# "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

# "You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

Turned out to be a pyramid scheme

the giza pyramids are quite majestic

but those camel riders are pretty scammy, they would charge you 5 times more money if they recognize you're a tourist

they're running some kind of scheme

*a pyramid scheme*

While they're there the caretaker comes and grabs the bull and says

"sorry I need to take apis".

The tourists are shocked so they ask "on the bull"?!

With the aid of highly advanced mri scans they were able to ascertain he suffered from a major gastro intestinal disorder. Apparently he was lactose intolerant. So it turns out, me and the Egyptian kid got a toot in common

They flock like an Egyptian.

Juveniles

a Giza

Because he is a big fan of denial

My doctor said I should see a different cairotractor.

They were just medium height, between the Pyrahighs, and Pyralows.

They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.

It got so bad that I had to visit a cairopractor

The games keep getting more confusing, it usually goes like: Mohamed passes to Mohamed, and he runs up then passes it to Mohamed, but then Mohamed intercepted the ball. Mohamed is now running up the field and passes it to Mohamed, and Mohamed shoots, but the goalie Mohamed blocks the shot. Then Moha... read more

because he keeps leaving little pyramids around the house.

Nasser wanted to know the age of a ancient statue that had been recently excavated. He went up to his KGB advisers and asked if their technicians could help. Just a few hours later, one of the KGB men told Nasser "The statue is just about 5,000 years old." Nasser was very impressed and asked "How di... read more

He's a Pharaoh faucet major

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Ha... read more

I’m in denile.

They all live in de-Nile

He was obviously born in De Nile.

a cairo-practor!

King Tootin'ramen

To make the wife a mummy.

And if you disagree, you're in the Nile.

He had a break up and now he's in denial

-I thought I was having fun, but I was in denile the whole time.

It was when daddy's became mummy's

...because they're all in *da nile.*

To the Cairo-practor

Denial River

So mike Tyson is vacation in Egypt. He is having a great time but slowly begins to run out of things to do. A few days go by and he even grows tired of gawking at the pyramids. He’s searching for something to do! He heads to his local marketplace. There he finds a book on ancient Egyptian hieroglyph... read more

Because A'frican love you.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at... read more

A crocodile sees this boy and slowly swims to the boy. The boy notices the crocodile to late and tries running away. He trips over a root and falls. The crocodile swallows him trying to devour him completely. As the boy is almost completely within the crocodile with only his head is sticking out, a ... read more

'She was quite annoyed, but they had served her well for many years, so when one of her priests arrived, she gave him the opportunity to explain himself.

'"Oh, great Bastet, please show mercy on us, your humble servants! A stranger with a strange god has come and is making demands of the Pha... read more

A man takes a trip to Egypt and wants to rent a car. He goes to the dealer and asks them what cars they have. The dealer says "Oh, we ran out of cars, but we do have camels."

"A camel?" the man asks. "Why would I take a camel?"

"Well," the car renter explains "they're as fast as a car,... read more

I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.

He regretted it, he was very in denile

... because they are in a deep state of denial.

He was in denial.

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme

....and he's still in denial.

Poor child is gonna have the weirdest walk.

He was In De Nile

Pyramid schemes.

Mommy



\*Credit: my 5 yr old after learning about pyramids at school\*

I guess the reigns down in Africa.

"Ya right, mon, you in denial"

She was too deep in de Nile.