This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do tofu and a dildo have in common?

They’re both meat substitutes

I've come to the realization that tofu is overrated.

It's just a curd to me.

I used to work in a powdered soup factory, until I started coughing up little cubes of tofu...

I was forced to retire, after being diagnosed with Miso-thelioma.

My Hispanic friend in the Navy is allergic to tofu

He’s a no soy marinero

Why did the tofu cross the road?

To prove that it was not chicken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between tofu and a dildo?

A dildo can be used in place of meat in a satisfactory manner.

The same can't be said about tofu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does tofu and a dildo have in common?

They’re both for fucking pussies.

(This post was for u/raynir44)

I have this horrible tofu joke I'm afraid to post...

It's really tasteless.

I heard that Hillary Clinton is actually made of tofu.

She's white, bland, uninspiring and not tasty unless dipped in melty cheese.

I like making jokes about vegetarians...

but never about tofu, that's just tasteless.

Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"

What martial art is done using only your feet?


Truly delicious tofu recipe:

1) Chuck the tofu.

2) Fry a juicy steak.

How did the vegetarian quit smoking?

He went cold tofu.

"Make me one with everything,”

says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.

The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.

The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"

The vendor ...

What form of deadly martial arts are soybeans trained in?


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