This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between dildos and tofu?

I can put a dildo in my mouth without gagging.

I was having lunch a few minutes ago and I realized tofu is overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

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What do dildos and tofu have in common?

\>: they are meat substitutes:<

Tofu joke

What does Mexican tofu say?
Soy beans!

Why did the tofu cross the road?

To prove that it was not chicken.

I used to work in a powdered soup factory, until I started coughing up little cubes of tofu...

I was forced to retire, after being diagnosed with Miso-thelioma.

My Hispanic friend in the Navy is allergic to tofu

He’s a no soy marinero

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between tofu and a dildo?

A dildo can be used in place of meat in a satisfactory manner.

The same can't be said about tofu.

I have this horrible tofu joke I'm afraid to post...

It's really tasteless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does tofu and a dildo have in common?

They’re both for fucking pussies.

(This post was for u/raynir44)

My friend overdosed on Tofu

The coroner called it a Soysoning

What martial art is done using only your feet?


How did the vegetarian quit smoking?

He went cold tofu.

I heard that Hillary Clinton is actually made of tofu.

She's white, bland, uninspiring and not tasty unless dipped in melty cheese.

I like making jokes about vegetarians...

but never about tofu, that's just tasteless.

Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"

"Make me one with everything,”

says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.

The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.

The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"

The vendor ...

What form of deadly martial arts are soybeans trained in?


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