UPJOKE
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A wife is frying eggs for her husband in the morning

Suddenly the husband appears behind the wife's back and says:

"Careful, CAREFUL, put more fat in the pan! You're frying too many at a time. TOO MANY! Flip them! FLIP THEM! Come on!
Put more fat in there. Oh dear lord. How are you gonna make space for the fat now, look, they're sticking to ...

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

There were 2 sausages in a frying pan.

One sausage says to the other damn it's hot in here! The other sausage says WTF a talking sausage.

[warning dad joke warning]I visited a monastery and as I walked by the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him “are you the friar?”

He replied”no I’m the chip monk”

What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?”

“Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. “You’ll have to...

What did the egg say to the frying pan

Yolkgottabekiddingme!!

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in you frying pan?

Take away their little brooms.

My roommate scratched my non stick frying pan so I had to get rid of it.

Anyone looking for an apartment?

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

I’m sorry I can’t get hard... I just got laid.

Why is Europe like a frying pan??

They both have Greece at the bottom!!

A man comes home after a long day, his wife then hits him in the back of the head with a frying pan

He clutches his head in pain asking her, “Honey why? Why did you do that?” She answers, “When I was doing your laundry I found a receipt in your pocket with a woman’s name on it.” He responds, “That’s why you hit me? Honey Mary-Ann is a horse I bet on, that’s the receipt for my bet.” She accepts th...

What's the difference between a hand and a frying pan?

In the frying pan, the meat shrinks. In the hand, the meat grows.

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

What do you call it when a wizard hits you with a frying pan

Cast iron

Is that a frying pan in the pantry?

No. It’s a wok in closet.

A guy is sitting quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he shouts.

His wife says, "I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name "Marylou on it. Who the hell is she?"

The guy says, "Oh, don't worry about that dear. Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my f...

A guy is sitting reading the newspaper when his wife hits him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

"What the hell was that for?!", he screams.
"I was emptying your trouser pockets and found a piece of paper with a woman's name and a phone number!"
Thinking quickly, the guy says, "Honey, calm down, that's just the name of a horse i was betting on! The number is for the betting place!"....

A new supermarket opened near my house.

A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing, and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay....

My wife hit me in the face with a frying pan and yelled, "That's for all the cheating!"

She has a weird way of apologising.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I find frying pans really hot.

I guess you could say I'm pansexual.

How are a frying pan and a beautiful woman similar?

You have to get them both hot before you put the meat in.

How to cook sausages

Once upon a time there was a little girl and one day her mommy decided it was time for her to learn how to cook sausages.


So she explains, slowly and patiently:


"You cut off the ends of the sausages, put a non-stick pan over a medium heat, and then add the sausages. Keep co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grim man enters an otolaryngologist's cabinet and whips out his penis... ...and it's all bluish and visibly not okay. The doctor, shocked: "You're in the wrong cabinet, you need to see the urologist!"

"No," says man. "The thing is, me and my friends go to a sauna once a month..."

"Ah, so then you'll need a dermatologist if it's caused by an STD" - interrupts the doctor.

"..and we play this reaction game called "Oof!" when we all whip out dicks and put them on a round table, music pl...

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