Why did the radio tower fall apart on a Sunday?

Cuz it was weekend

I went to the optician today because I keep seeing the world fall apart.

He said I have 2020 vision.

Why did the pharaohs marriage fall apart?

Pyramid Scheme

Why did the USSR fall apart so quickly?

Because they're always Russian out there.

It’s ok if you fall apart sometimes.

Tacos fall apart and we still love them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the strongest glue in the world?

Semen. Have you ever seen a baby fall apart?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Life is a lot like Jenga

If you don’t pull out correctly, everything can fall apart

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May?

A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.

I have a joke about leprosy...

But it would probably fall apart at the end.

Why are leprosy jokes hard to tell?

Because the delivery tends to fall apart.

This was deemed "pretty bad" by my friends...

I'm not really good at writing stories so bear with me.

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

3 years ago during my first reservists training

I am from Singapore and all relatively healthy males need to serve the army for 2 years and 10 reservist cycles

During my first reservists, many of our combat boots start to fall apart due to the adhesive hardening up and breaking apart, thus many of us have to walk to the store to purchase ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New motorcycle

Credit to Bob Zany (I believe). I heard this on the Bob and Tom show this morning. This won't be exactly how he told it but it should be close.

A guy buys a himself a motorcycle from his neighbor. The neighbor tells him that he needs to rub Vaseline over the motorcycle before it rains or it w...

A blond girl walks in to a restaurant

While she was there, she met a man who worked as a server. They both fell in love at first sight. At the end of his shift, the girl Safari and the server met up and decided to start dating. Both were passionate about their relationship. After a while, they decided to get married. To make sure that t...

A Polish guy walked into a bar...

... in Poland. He announced that he had withdrawn his entire fortune, 100,000 zlotys, from the bank, invested it in gold bars, and put them into a safe in his house.

This was back when a zloty was worth something, so the other patrons immediately started to argue with him:

"You're an ...

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