"Would you be interested in contributing to our Sperm Foundation Fund?"
No thanks, I gave at the office.
Depressing pickup lines.
Are you suicide? Because I think about you every day.
Are you a toaster? Because I really want to take a bath with you.
Are you a noose? Because I really want to hang with you.
Are you a gravestone? Because I really wish you were on top of me.
Are you anti-...
The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.
These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.
Why?
It's because they are Palindrones.
There was a rowdy guest at the local science convention last week.
The chair of the convention decided to throw them out, saying: "You sir are contributing excessively to the entropy of this convention!"
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar...
The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying...
There is an expected condom shortage of 100 million condoms within 6 months.
I’m single-handedly ensuring that I’m not contributing to this shortage.
My taste in women is much like my taste in wine
Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.
Get a job
A young man in a small town graduates from high school. His father comes to him that evening and tells him “Son, you’re a man now. You need to start contributing to this household. Go get a job.”
The young man is rightfully concerned. Work prospects in his town are slim. The only jobs availab...
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