Elon Musk unveils pig with chip in its brain...

...it was from the Kenosha County Sheriff's Department.

What's the difference between Lay's and the Pfizer vaccine?

The Pfizer vaccine has at least one chip in it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

11 Reasons To Go To Work Naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.
4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
5. To stop tho...

There is a large traffic jam in Washington DC

A man gets caught in a huge traffic jam in DC. While sitting motionless on the road a man approaches him on foot. The man rolls down his window and asks what’s going on.

“The whole capitol is in chaos, armed men have stormed the Capitol Building and are holding congress hostage, they say they...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man saw a sign in a yard that said "Talking dog for sale $10"

He laughs and says "Yeah right, I gotta check this out". He knocks on the door and an old man answers. The guy says "I saw the sign for the talking dog for sale". Old man says "Yep, he's out back". They walk around to the back and the old man leads the guy to the fenced in area where the dog is slee...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Bartender Walks into a bar

The night time bartender walk in to the bar at 6PM on a Friday night to relieve the day time bartender. He notices a guy sitting over in the corner of the bar with his right hand up to the side of his face and talking away.

The night time bartender says to the other bartender "Look at that ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese Golfer

Was rereading Harry Potter Book 2 and got to the Japanese Golfer joke line. Googled it. Enjoy, r/Jokes.

An American, a German and a Japanese man are golfing one day and, at the 3rd hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts his left thumb to his ear, his left pinky finge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friends say I’m funny so I figured I’d write a joke.

So I went to a proctologist (read: butt doctor) because I’d been having some long term constipation and I figured I’d better get a prostate check to punch two holes in my club card, it was a real problem as funny as it sounds. Anyway I get there and I’m waiting in this cold room when a dude in a doc...

A Guy & His Wife Go Golfing...

A guy and his wife go golfing. They’re about halfway through the game when the husband slices a shot for the green and drops his ball right behind the greenskeeper’s shed, blocking his chance to chip in. So, he lines up his shot, planning to hit it out from behind the shed and then up on the green o...

Two men are playing teeing off during a round of golf.

Two men are teeing off during a round of golf when one of the men hooks his shot horribly right into a large area of brush.

"Tough luck that ones a goner, my friend."

"Not a problem! Give me just a second and I will find it and be right back."

The golfer trudges off the fairway...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman has 12 children throughout her life

For her 60th birthday her kids all chip in some money for her to choose a present. She decides to get her vagina tidied up, as it now resembles a badly packed kebab.
Waking up after the operation, she sees 3 cards on the windowsill.
She recognises the handwriting on the first as her sister's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys go to a convention

And they all want to chip in to get a luxury suite on the 75th floor and they do so they have a great day at the convention and get back to the hotel and realize that the elevator is broken so they would have to walk up 75 flights of stairs so the one guy says"OK I got an idea for the first 25 floor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The bird who sought a purpose

Apologies if a joke like this was already submitted, I just discovered this wonderful subreddit and I'd like to chip in :)

A bird had long traveled the country side. He was never content with his meager life, and sought a purpose. One day, the bird came upon quite a sight! A massive clearing ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, Japanese, and a Nigerian were sitting naked in the sauna

Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The American presses his forearm and others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager,” he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”


“A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lift his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains,” t...

A Leper Walks Into A Bar

A leper walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives it to him, then immediately turns around and throws up. The leper, being a leper, was used to this kind of thing, and didn't think much of it.

The leper finishes his beer and orders another one. The bartender gives it to him, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sarah and Jack

Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed.
Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he w...

Back in the pioneer days...

A couple traveling west saw an old Native American man with his ear pressed to the ground, unmoving. As they approached, the man's eyes slowly opened and he said:

"Large wagon train. Fifty wagons. Lead cart has team of five horses. Half wagons covered, half not. Cart in middle have chip in wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chinese , an american, and a belgian sit in a pool.

All of a sudden they hear a ringtone and the american starts talking in the palm of his hand. ''I have a build in telephone chip in my hand, so we Americans don't even need phones anymore!"

A few minutes later they hear another ringtone, only this time it is the Chinese man who starts talking...

True story...

My 4 year old nephew and his family came to visit the other day. He was carrying a bag of chips and asked if I wanted some. I told him, "No, those are bad for you."

He looked at me so confused and then asked, "Why?" I told him they would make him fat and if he ever wanted to be strong he wo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.