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i found a great online support group for erectile dysfunction

but the site won’t stay up

My feet have been very supportive my entire life

They've held me up when I'm feeling down. They take me anywhere I want to go. And they always remind me when to take a break for myself.

It's not all good though, they just let me walk all over them.

Earlier today I saw this dude walking out of an erectile dysfunction support group. He looked like a douche, so I tried to fight him. But no luck...

It's almost impossible to get a rise out of those people.

God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.

For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll gi...

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trump says it’s changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.

How does a Trump supporter explain why they cannot perform in bed?

Erection fraud.

What do you call a support group for people who talk too much?

On and on Anon

How many Biden supports does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just change the definition of ‘changing light bulb’

Me and my friends from the obsessive compulsive support group are starting a rock cover band.

We’re calling ourselves OC/DC.

Margaret Thatcher’s bid to screw all of Britain’s miners was controversial, but had support from one man in particular.

Jimmy Saville.

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Programming is like sex:

one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.

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The organs of the human body meet up at their weekly support group.

Heart: So tell me, how are all of you doing?

Large intestine: Not good. I’m all backed up on work and my productivity is shit.

Gallbladder: Same here. My girlfriend told me yesterday that she thinks I’m narcisscystic.

Heart: How about you, Brain?

Brain: Just terrible. I...

I've just joined a procrastinators support group.

Ìt is called Wait Watchers.

Erectile disfunction support group has been cancelled

Nobody could come

I like dillos, but I don’t support giving them guns because...

I would never armadillo.

Tom Cruise is filming a new romantic-action movie in support of body positivity. Both him and the lead actress gained 300lbs for the role.

The movie is called: Missionary Impossible.

My city's hookers are putting on a charity event to support local animal shelters.

They're calling it pound-for-pound!

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, “Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”

God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.”

After a fe...

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My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.

Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.

Me: Pinocchio?

Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Edit: thanks for all the support and a...

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woman's new perfume

A woman stepped into an elevator at Macy’s Department store after having just purchased a new perfume called Essence of Snowy Pines.



All of a sudden as she stood in the elevator; she had an unstoppable urge to fart.



Since she was alone on the elevator, she let rip a lon...

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Jack Russle and Great Dane at the vets...

A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets...

JR: "Why are you here ?"

GD: "Fuck off."

JR: "No, come on, let's be friendly, we're both dogs, we don't want to be here, we should support each other,"

GD: "<sigh>"

JR: "I'll tell you why I'...

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Today I went to my premature ejaculation support group meeting

Turns out it was tomorrow.

I wish people would stop jumping on James Corden for stealing Ricky Gervais' joke....

This could permanently damage his career, and we need to remember he's got a wife and three chins to support.

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what did one saggy tit say to the other?

If we don't get some support around here people are gonna think we're nuts

What does the actor who plays Bucky Barnes have in commom with his overzealous supporters?

They're all Sebastian stans.

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I didn’t know what to wear to my Premature Ejaculation Support Group

So I just came in my pants

Obsessive Compulsive...

The representative body that supports people who suffer from OCD have petitioned the Government to change the acronym to CDO in alphabetical order the way it should be...

A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,

New Roman.

I went to a concert hosted by the Dyslexics Support Group.

Queef Latina was the headliner and they put on a hell of a show.

I go to a Plastic Surgery Addict Support Group weekly.

There are a lot of new faces in the group every week.

A lady finds out that she is pregnant, but she is worried.

He husband has anger management issues, yelling a lot, breaking things, really horrible to be around. She doesn't want her kids to be like that, so she asks her doctor for advice. Her doctor says "Rub your belly once a day every day and say 'Be polite, be polite.' "

So she starts doing so. Bu...

So, we've all seen Biden's pardon for marijuana users, but we need Bipartisan legislation....

We need Bipartisan legislation for the use of medical marijuana for arthritis patients.

Joint support for joint support for joint support.

How do you keep a Trump supporter occupied?

Give me $50 now and I'll tell you in just 4 weeks!

Guys, abortion may be illegal soon. If you accidentally get a girl pregnant, make sure she’s an anti-vaxxer.

Instead of paying for 18 years of child support, you’ll only have to pay for 3.

Poland has stepped up in support of Ukraine

they’ve stationed 10,000 troops on their border with France.

The Boy who Speaks in Coffee

There was once an Italian boy who was born to a pair of baristas. Unfortunately, he was born with a mental defect which meant that his vocabulary would be formed very early, and would be highly associative. As his parents worked around the clock to support their new son, his vocabulary quickly becam...

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Wife got mad at me when I went to a charity event to support single moms

Strippers deserve support too.

I was diagnosed with antisocial behaviour disorder, so I joined a support group.

We never meet.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs...

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Perspective

Three children are playing football in a park. Out of nowhere a large dog runs over to the group and attacks one of them unprovoked.

One of the other children tries to help his friend and kicks the dog in the head, killing it instantly.

A reporter who happened to be passing comes racin...

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I called the premature ejaculation support group to find out what the dress code was.

Apparently, most members just come in their pants.

What did the IT support guy do yesterday after eating Taco Bell?

He troubleshat

I called up GameStop customer support

They told me to hold.

A vegan, a crossfitter, and a Trump supporter walk into a bar…

But how can you know that?

Oh, they’ll definitely tell you.

Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed?

Everyone else is forbiden

My daughter just walked into the living room and said

"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw ...

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They had to change the meeting time for the premature ejaculators' support group.

Everyone kept coming too early.

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!

The man sat and thought about it f...

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Two beggars are sitting on a sidewalk in Rome.

One is wearing a large cross, has rosary beads in his hand, and has a picture of the Virgin Mary. The other is wearing a kippah and tzitzit, and has a beard and side curls. The first is getting tons of money, but the second is hardly getting any. A priest comes to the second beggar, and says "you kn...

Why does a nervous wasp support the Russian invasion of Ukraine?

Cagey Bee

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This...

Tech support! My computer fell off my desk!

That's not how you back it up.

IT Bug

I reporter a bug on github.

Tech support replied:

This bug has been deprecated for 6 months
it has been replaced by a new bug.

What do Trump supporters use for birth control?

Their personalities.

What's with all these people supporting ivermectin?

Don't people know it's just a ploy by big farmer??

My girlfriend told me she will leave me if I don't support Trump...

I said ok.. Biden

If you think lawyers don't have hearts, read this

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying,'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two m...

If I'm ever on life support, unplug me...

Then plug me back in, see if that works.

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.

Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

I called Robinhood customer support to ask what I should do with my GME shares.

They said: “PLEASE HOLD.”

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My 13 year old son was attacked for being white and a Donald Trump supporter.

And I'll fucking do it again.

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A therapy support group session.

A psychiatrist was conducting a therapy support group session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he stated.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

"He turned to the second mother and s...

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I don't normally see eye to eye with most Trump supporters, but if there's one thing we do agree on...

It's that the president of Puerto Rico is the dumbest son of a bitch to ever hold public office.

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Though he passed away decades ago, I really think my grandpa would have supported LGBTQ+ marriage in all of its forms.

His motto was "Fuck everyone.".

What does it take to turn a Trump Supporter into a socialist?

$1,000

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I just joined a support group for compulsive masturbators.

We are trying to pull ourselves together.

Yussuf Swannekamp, mayor of Whistlestop Minnesota, was running for re-election.

Polling showed a dead heat between Swannekamp and his opponent, La Hernia, with 53 votes for each candidate. Swannekamp had to find another vote if he was to stay in office. On the edge of town lived a deranged tree worshipper named Kilmer Boles, who had never voted. So Swannekamp went to the librar...

[O(r)C] Why don't Orcs like to shop online?

They prefer to support local brick and Mordor.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.

We haven’t met yet.

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I'm starting a support group for people who can't orgasm

Let me know if you can't cum.

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I don't support Trump, but I would never denigrate his supporters

If you're a Trump supporter, "denigrate" means "to put down."

My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support LGBTQ

That's a bit of a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet flag.

There once was a boy named George Gunderson who did not do very well in school. His classmates ridiculed him every day, as did his teacher, Mrs. Jones. George couldn't stand it, and always came home crying to his parents.

One day, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson decided to come to the school early to give Mrs. Jones a piece of her mind. The second the door opened to let the kids outside, Mr. and Mrs. Gunderson peeked inside to hear Mrs. Jones screaming at George. "George Gunderson, you are the dumbest kid in the world!"
...

Why wife gets mad because I donate so much money every week to help support single moms.

She says I'm just using it as an excuse to go to the strip club

How do you tell if someone is a Trump supporter?

If their hat, shirt, bumper sticker, four flags on their car, license plate, the seven flags outside their house, and their personality doesn't tell you, I don't know what to say.

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

why do Indians never call tech support?

Because they know families don't fix problems but only make it worse.

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People keep grouping all Trump supporters with these Nazi movements recently, which I disagree with and think is quite silly.

After all, the Russians fought *against* the Nazis.

2 Trump Supporters go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes highe...

I had to call tech support for my computer the other day.

Tech Support: “It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.”

Me: “So?”

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If She Stayed In Italy To Raise The Child, He Would Also Provide Child Support Until The Child Turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for t...

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Support your answer with a proof

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it...

I support the anti-mask people

Thanks to them the average IQ is rising

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The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, havin...

You’d think the Catholic Church would be more supportive of condom use...

Less DNA evidence.

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chiropractors and police officers

What's the difference between a chiropractor and a police officer? One takes a crack at it and then the customer goes home, and the other takes a crack addict and throws him in jail for a very long time. But it's not all differences though. They both offer temporary relief with not much data to prov...

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why did the boy throw dog excrement at a bunch of football (soccer) supporters?

He wanted to know what happens when the shit hits the fan.

At the moment he is recovering in hospital.

A gigantic gas explosion in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.

After all, it was only miner injuries.

I understand and support the Women's National Republican Club's concerns about getting the Covid-19 Shot....

To many of us it seams like a simple task, you go in, they jab you with a little needle and 1 second later its out and your done.

But think of it from a Republican Woman's point of view. That little needle is twice the size of anything that has ever poked her before and is going to be in her ...

Taking my mother-in-law off her life support was one of the hardest things I’ve done.

I had to fight my wife, two doctors, and a nurse to finally do it.

i went to a support group for short term memory loss

the host said: "good evening, you're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room"

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When I supported strip mining

I thought it was going to be a lot more sexy

Hey Trump supporters, can I tell you a joke about the wall?

Never mind, you won’t get it.

How many trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, I've stopped counting.

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

Useless

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an ...

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Support your local mailman

On John's last day as a mailman after 40 years serving the same neighborhood, the first house on his route gave him a nice gift envelope with $100 in cash.

At the second house, they gave him a box of high-quality cigars.

At the third house, they handed him a selection of great fishing ...

I unplugged my grandma's life support

The moment was really breathtaking.

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