UPJOKE
giftcontributiondonatedonoralmsendowmentcharitybequestcashdonatingdonatedgivingofferingbenefactioncontribute

Donation Jokes

The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?.

The law...

A local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"


The lawyer thought about it for a minut...

Why are sperm donations more expensive than blood donations?

They are hand made

Today a woman knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave her a glass of water. I love supporting the comminity.

Me: "At the blood bank, it's always a nurse who takes the donation"

Nurse: "sperm banks are different, sir"

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic.

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, “What is your blood type?” The rabbit responded, “I’m probably a type O.”

Yesterday, I went for blood donation.

But they didn't let me though. Asking too many questions..
"Where did you get it? Whose blood is it? Why is it in the bucket?"

I was never a fan of organ donation.

But then I had a change of heart.

A Priest, an Imam and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic

The nurse asks them, gentlemen, do you know your blood types?

The priest replies, “Yes I am AB+”

The Imam replies, “I am a B +”

And finally the Rabbit replies, “I am not too sure but I think that I’m a Type O”

TIL sperm donors are paid $50 per donation.

It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl meets a guy at the donation clinic.

He asks her, "So what are you donating today?". She replies, "I'm giving blood, I get $25 for it! What are you here for?". He smiles and says "Oh I'm donating semen. I get $150 for it." The girl is shocked and outraged. The next month, the same guy sees the same girl and asks, "Oh you here giving bl...

When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth

He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.

Why do the nurses at the blood donation clinic have autocorrect disabled?

Because they always want more type-o’s.

A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk in a bar. As they approach the bar, they see a blood donation booth. The rabbit hops to the nurse to be the first to donate. The nurse looks at him and ask: “What’s your blood group?”

The rabbit says: "I dunno, I think I might be a Type-O."

Donations

A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched beer. The bartender walked over and asked, "What's the problem, pal?" "My brother just told me there's a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $50 for a donation." "Yeah, so?"

"Don't you realize?" the man cried. "I've let a for...

I was recently targeted by an organ donation scam

They tried to convince me that, for a small monthly fee, I could have priority access to organ donation from the recently deceased.

It was a dead giveaway.

Blood Donation

I went to give blood the other day, what an awful experience. The nurses just wouldn't stop asking me questions, constantly.







"Who's blood is that?"



"Where did you get it?"



"Why is it in a bucket?"

So this young kid goes out to solicit donations for Jehovah’s witnesses.

It’s dark and cold and the rain is coming down in buckets. He sees a house with the lights on and runs up the driveway and knocks on the door. Half a minute later the owner opens the door and the young fellow informs him who he is.

“Well don’t stand out there in the rain. Come on in and dry ...

Putin is held hostage by a terrorist.

A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks:

Driver: What's going on?

Policeman: ...

Collecting Donations

A driver was stuck in traffic on the highway outside Washington D.C. Nothing was moving. A man walks up and knocks on the car window. The driver rolled down his window and asked,
"What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire U.S. Congress, and they're asking for 100 million dol...

My coworker is asking for donations for his charity marathon

But I’m afraid he’s just going to take the money and run

The priest angrily asks the altar boy standing two meters away,

"Are you secretly drinking the holy wine?"

The altar boy remains silent. The priest's anger grows.
"I'm asking you! Can't you hear me?"

"No, I can't hear anything from here, Father."

"What do you mean? You're just two steps away and you can't hear me?"

The altar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just back from the sperm donation clinic...

Nurse asked me ‘could you masturbate in the cup’ I said im good, but not competition standard

The Charlie Brown Foundation is now accepting donations.

All proceeds go towards good grief counsellors.

Blood donation

I donated my blood and they told me I was Type-A.

Apparently it was a Type-O.

Thanks to your donations, we've completely transformed this homeless man...

Into a homeless woman.

A red cross worker is cold calling people for donations

A Red Cross worker is cold calling people for donations and comes across a lawyer where records shows he makes $500k+ a year and hasn’t made a single charitable donation. So the Red Cross worker calls the lawyer and asks if he’d like to donate. The lawyer says “no “,thank you.” The Red Cross worker ...

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,0...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scottish blood

An Arab Sheik was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world.

...

An orpganage for blind children gets a donation

After the initial happiness had died down, the caretaker steps next to the donator and tells him:

-Sir, they didn't see that coming..

Donation to animal shelter

A very wealthy lawyer in a small town is notorious for never giving money to any charity that comes his way. The local animal shelter knows he has a dog and they think that this could be their way into his wallet. They go to his door and he answers, "What do you want?"

One of the ladies repli...

He was going to make a donation to the spern bank

However nothing is firm yet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Has anyone else heard of the Fecal Donation Program?

Or am I the only one who gives a shit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm thinking about starting a donation website for men who can't afford Viagra

I was going to call it "Dick starter"

Oh No! Not ELON!

Man is driving along the freeway when he is stopped by a huge traffic jam.

After sitting there for quite a long time, he sees another man walking from car-to-car.

The second man finally gets up to his car. He rolls down the window....

"Hey man, what's going on up ahead?"
...

Donating Sperm

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.