Bright Side Jokes - 52 Hilarious Bright Side Jokes

If you have Alzheimer's, look on the bright side…

…at least you can hide your own Easter Eggs.

On the bright side...

We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady.

My friend told me to look on the bright side.

He said I could be chest deep in water in a hole in the ground.

I know he means well.

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Frank always looked on the bright side.

He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse."

To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could f...

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When a girl asks you "Does my butt looks big in this?" That is her way of asking you to set the difficulty for the evening...

Easy mode: Of course not honey, you look wonderful.

Medium mode: Hmm, maybe try a different pair of pants.

Hard mode: Yes, but it looks big in anything.

Impossible mode: Yes, but on the bright side, it draws attention away from your face.

Look on the bright side

would be horrible advice to someone trapped in a tanning bed

On the bright side of the election

There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.

Insomnia sufferers, look on the bright side.

only three more sleeps until christmas.

On the bright side, I got to scratch something off my bucket list today ...

N̶o̶t̶r̶e̶ ̶D̶a̶m̶e̶

Nico is extremely optimistic and always sees the bright side of everything.

It drives his friends Connor and Tyler crazy, so one day they decide to tell him a story that he cannot find the positive in.

Nico meets Tyler at his house and Nico asks where Connor is. Tyler tells him "You didn't hear? He found his girlfriend with another guy last night and killed them both...

An old man said “I’ve got Alzheimer’s but look in the bright side...”

“At least I don’t have Alzheimer’s”

With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ...

... and please let me know what it is when you've found it.

Im starting to see the bright side of being single..

..If I tip the bottle towards the ceiling, light shines right through the Vodka. Facinating

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Look on the bright side anti-vaxxers

You'll never have to have "the talk" about puberty, sex, drugs, or driving.

I forgot to bring the drinks to my senior prom. But hey, look at the bright side.

No punch line.

how many pessimist does it take to change a light bulb?

they can’t, they need an optimist to show them the bright side

I got my STD test back today, It says "50". Should I be worried?

On the Bright side, My IQ test came positive.

I had a vision of a disaster. I'm going to die in a car crash on the way home from holiday today, along with my friend and girlfriend. On the bright side, we all lived blessed lives and will be going to heaven. St. Peter, of course, still mans the gates, and gives us a warm welcome. There's ducks.

He explains that in heaven, we have limitless paradise and can do anything our hearts desire, but that there's only one rule we must obey. "You see, God made all creatures with love, but he kinda loves ducks the most. They're his absolute favorite creature."

We can tell. There's ducks *everyw...

I heard women in this country only get 78¢ for every dollar a man earns...

On the bright side, we get to keep 22¢

Why are all optimists blind?

They're constantly looking at the bright side of life.

To deal with the high price of petroleum, public transport systems are looking at alternative fuels, including grasses and herbs.

The program has had some failures, but on the bright side at least the trains run on thyme.

The Car Accident..

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident, Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left but fortunately we are not hurt. This must be a sign from G...

A man calls over a waiter during his meal 'There is a fly swimming in my soup!'

'Look on the bright side Sir' replied the waiter 'If the portions weren't so generous he'd be wading'

Did you hear about the man who had his right side cut off

He's dead. Died from blood loss. Poor guy. On the bright side, his family got what's left of him.

Visited North Korea over the summer, but had to leave one of my bags there.

On the bright side, that raised their GDP by 0.5%

Trump was tested for the coronavirus

On the bright side he is on the news as positive for once

Hospital: on the down side we lost power and back up power last night...

In the bright side we now have 42 open beds

My friend was recently blinded in a freak accident and I've been trying to make him feel better about his situation...

But he just can't seem to see the bright side.

I heard due to the pandemic jobs of all types have been affected. Even employment rates for hitmen are down 75 percent...

On the bright side, demand for ninja assassins is through the roof!

A patient is at the doctors office and the doctor tells him he has bad news and worst news

Patient: Alright doc give me the bad news

Doctor: Unfortunately you have AIDS

Patient: That’s terrible news, I can’t believe it. What could the worst news possibly be

Doctor: Well the worst news is you have Alzheimers

Patient: That’s unbelievable doc, you were right t...

Life is not fair

My mom said i couldn’t get a lightsaber but she bought herself a purple lightsaber, to make matters worse, it vibrates and it’s in some crooked shape, but on the bright side, it’s short.

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I'm concerned because I swallowed an Airpod.

On the bright side, my playlists are the shit!

Ruth left our tean, she was sad to go but I helped cheer her up

I told her to look on the bright side... Without her we were gonna play even better than ever before! She asked why... Because without Ruth, our team would be Ruthless!

Sadly, my best friend passed away yesterday, so I went to see his wife today...

I said to her, "Look on the bright side, at least he's not suffering anymore."

She replied, "But he wasn't ill, he died suddenly."

I said, "I know, I meant, being married to you."

To this day, the guy who took my lunch money during school still takes my money.

On the bright side, he makes really good subway sandwiches.

A friend of mine gets a big raise every year. His secret? Always negotiate on a rainy day.

I thought it was crazy. I should've left it at that. But I'm a sucker for a good misconception… and I was due for a raise.

I waited for a nice rainy day. Not a misty day, or a drizzle. It had to be full-on rain. Inevitably, the day arrived and I requested a meeting with my boss. He listened i...

There's been a local bloke called Carl going around breaking into people's houses for months...

The Police couldn't catch him. The weird thing is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in them and turning them on!

Anyway, just heard that he was found dead in an alleyway because of a drug overdose... now it's never nice hearing of a dea...

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Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning.

As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call.

The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but n...

I lost my wallet and my identity was stolen.

On the bright side, I got it back in the mail with a note.

It said "It sucks to be you."

I can't see very well in the dark

but on the bright side, I see just fine.

A friend messaged me some encouraging words today...

What a thoughtful friend I thought as I read the words he wrote to me. It wasn't until I finished that I realized what he wanted in return...

"See The Bright Side.

Everyone Has Some Good In Them.

Never Go To Bed Mad.

Distrust Will Kill Any Relationship.

New Things ...

2 dudes are talking to each other

"A surgeon accidentally removed the left side of my body yesterday..."

"Oh wow that sucks are you all right?"

"Actually no, there's almost nothing left of me now."

"Hey dude, we should look at the bRight side."

"... That just wasn't even funny."

"Yeah, you're right...

79 million people are without access to drinkable water

Though on the bright side, the number is decreasing!

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I burned my hand on the stove.

On the bright side, now I have a black girlfriend.

A couple had been married for 50 years. The man had a large cardboard box under the bed.

His wife had noticed this box but never thought much of it. One day, however, curiosity got the better of her, and she opened it. She found 2 empty beer cans and a bag with some dollar bills and coins.

That night, she asked her husband what this was about.

"Well," he replied. "If y...

I met a disgruntled farmer in the pub today

“You look disgruntled,” I said. “What’s the story?”

“I ordered a couple of tons of manure,” he replied gloomily. “It arrived today.”

“Is that bad?”

“Well, you see, it was fake.”

“Fake?”

“Yes, fake manure.”

“I didn’t even know that was a thing.”

“Well,...

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Two married buddies

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off...

Well, you know what Monty Python always say...

A man sees his friend looking rather melancholy and tries to cheer her up. After listening to her woes he says to her "Well, you know what Monty Python always say..."

She rolls her eyes "Always look on the bright side of life?"

"No." He leaps to his feet, "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH IN...

Leaving a Light On

An elderly man visits the doctor for a checkup. "Mr. Smith, you’re in great shape," says the doctor afterward. "How do you do it?"

"Well," says Mr. Smith, "I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and the good Lord looks out for me. For weeks now, every time I go to the bathroom in the middle of the nig...

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Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of dog food from Walmart...

I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had – an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in ...

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Shut Up

A young bluebird was flying from tree to tree in the brisk autumn air when he heard his parents call. Upon arriving back to the nest they tell the young avian to prepare for the trip south.

The little bluebird stubbornly inquires why, to which papa bluebird replies with details of heavy and c...

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Once upon a time, there was a sand dune with legs.

Duney they called him, truly one of a kind - a war hero of great accomplishment and honour, until that one fateful night.

It was 7PM, and the sun's glow was falling. Duney was exhausted, stumbling with his gun's barrel scraping along the desert's sand.
That was when Duney's world entered ...

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