Propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool.

When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.


I moved into a Spanish neighborhood and immediately hit it off with them. They think im so cool they nicknamed me coolo

When it's hot, my wife really likes us to blow on each other to help keep cool, but I'll be honest...

I'm not a fan.

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The skip intro button on Netflix is so cool.

I wish tinder had it too.

A: Hey, How do you manage to stay cool all the time?

B: I don’t get into arguments with stupid people. I just cut it short and say, “You’re right.”
A: But that’s completely irrational and wrong!
B: You’re right.

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Can we cool it with the Epstein jokes already people? I mean christ, the man had children.

Locked in his basement.

Dads are cool

They never tell you they f*cked your mom

Parallel universes are a cool concept

but there’s no way I could park in one.

Living in Switzerland would be cool,

The flag is a big plus.

I got this really cool Mickey Mouse watch. It shows the time very clearly.

The dial is really really handy.

The day before my wedding, my dad sat me down and said, “Before you get married tomorrow, consider the following carefully. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring...”

“And on the other hand, you don’t.”

Why is the letter B so cool?

Because it sits right in the middle of AC!

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It's cool that last names tell us about old family professions

Like the Smith family were blacksmiths

and the Bowman family were archers

and the Dickinson family... well they were in jail

If I got a penny for every time I wasn't cool

I'd have... NO PENNYS!
*-whips out deck of Pokemon cards-*

Why are stadiums so cool?

Because they're filled with fans

That new face app is cool

Anti vax parents can see what their kids woudlve look liked

Inspiration Credit: @funnymanfields

You know who ate Five Guys before it was cool?

Jeffery Dahmer.

How do you keep a prince cool?

Use an heir conditioner.

What do you do to stay cool when it’s 100 degrees in NYC?

Dress as a cop.

Did you hear about the man who cooled to absolute zero?

He is 0K now.

People need to cool with the FaceApp age filter...

It's getting old.

You think you are cool..

But you are just in room temperature.

It'd be cool if Jesus was like a new code-name for Heroin...

Bunch of people addicted to taking the lord's name in vein...

Why are B's so cool?

Cause they're in between the AC

I think the Dysons in washrooms these days are pretty cool

But I have to say, they're the messiest urinals I've ever used.

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He ate his food before it was cool.

You know what's cool about owning a Chevy?

well, the logo is a big plus

I found a cool spider in my backyard today.

I picked it up and drove it accross the city.

Now it's far from home.

How to be cool in 2 steps.

A) Get sunglasses


What do you call a cool sheep?

A baaaaaaaaadass.

A colony on the moon would be a pretty cool thing.

Especially on the dark side.

I asked my bro if it was cool to bang my clone.

He shrugged. "You do you, fam."

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Sexism isnt cool at all

Bitches hate that shit

Nobody is born cool

Unless it's a miscarraige.

Why are fireworks so cool?

It’s cause they’re lit.

When a guy has slept with a lot of girls, he’s cool

But when a girl has slept with a lot of guys, she’s your mom.

I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of..


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Carving a boob from a tree would be pretty cool

Wooden tit

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Some kids are cool... Other kids are hot...

But I’m in the fucking middle being damn room temperature

Why did the hipster empty water from an ice cube tray into his drink?

He liked ice before it was cool

It's not cool to look down on people

That's why I hate people in wheelchairs.

Ben was at home looking for his super cool amazingly fantastic awesome dad

When it was clear his dad wasn't inside sitting, he went to the window and saw....

That his dad was outstanding

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cool funny jokes that i can copy and paste on to reddit

wait this isn't google


My cousin thinks he's cool because he sleeps in a race car bed.

Little does he know I sleep in an actual car.

My friends found a cool racing game.

Recently my friends and I found an interesting new game, it’s sort of like a mix of an MMORPG and a racing game. You play as a car and you level up and get cool new gear and it makes you better and also looks cooler.

Anyway, we played this game for quite a while, slowly improving and getting ...

I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals

My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."

I went to this cool new restaurant in Vegas, the server woman came out nude with the menu painted all over her body.

She asked if I was ready to order, I said “ I know what I want, but I just can’t put my finger on it.”

Yeah Frieza was cool...

But his brother was cooler.

The Cool Clam Club

Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.

Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initia...

Look at that cloud, trying to act all cool..

He's nothin' but smog

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Frank the penguin is driving down the highway in his convertible, with the top down, enjoying the cool breeze on a hot summer day when he notices that his “check engine” light is on.

He pulls over into the nearest auto body shop, and after a few minutes of inspection, the mechanic tells him that there’s something up with the oil and it should only be about 30-35 minutes.

“You have some time to kill, why don’t you head into town for a few minutes?” the mechanic suggests. “...

Why are physicists still considered "not" cool...

When Thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?

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A parrot swallowed a viagra pill. The owners put him in a freezer to "cool off."

When the owner opened the freezer he noticed the parrot was sweating profusely.

Owner: Why are you sweating so much?

Parrot: You know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?!

"Is it OK if I turn the AC on?"

"Yeah, I'm cool with it."

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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any ...

How does a pair of jeans cool it's self off?

It pants.

What Kind Of Vegetable Is Kind Of Cool?


I convinced my son if he didn't try to keep me cool during Summer he wouldn't be written into my will...

Apparently I'm now a bad father simply for wanting some heir conditioning.

When asked how he keeps his cool under pressure...

The bomb squad captain said "either I'm right or it's not my problem anymore."

I played a cool video game with some really hammered dudes,

We were Super Smashed Bros.

Dear "cool kids"

They didnt name a candy after you did they?


My friend thinks that pronouncing words like a Russian makes him sound cool

I tried to tell him to stop, but he insists it’s funny.

If he wants to walk around everywhere sounding like an idiot, then soviet.

People with insomnia are pretty cool

They’re up for anything

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How come all the other planets are named after cool stuff like gods?

Meanwhile, Earth is named after that dirty shit on the ground.

Name a vegetable that's kind of cool.


I put the cool into school

And the lit into illiterate

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool"

Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

I just met a really cool girl, but I won't date her because she has no feet...

I guess you could say I'm "lack toes intolerant".

Just found this cool new app that tells you which family members are racist...

Its called Facebook

My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool.

I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.

Snow sculptures are cool!

Icy pose

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At the age of 4, I remember thinking: "I can count to 10, so cool!" At the age of 5, I remember thinking: "Wow, I can count to 100 now, so cool!"

And at the age of 6: "When does this thing even fucking end?!"

A black guy walks into a bar with a huge parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says ‘that’s so cool, that’s the neatest thing I’ve ever seen. Where’d you get that?’

The parrot says ‘I got him in Africa, there’s tons of them.’

You wanna hear a super cool science joke?


What do you call a person that made rap before it was cool?

A Hip-Hopster

What vegetable is trying really hard to be cool, but can't quite manage it?

A radish.

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I have this really cool Japanese ambisexual friend, he's always up for a night at the club and gets along with most people.

He's a true bi-party-san.

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Why are constipated people so cool with everything?

They dont give a shit

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She told me if I turned the light off I could put it in her butt.

I guess I should've let the bulb cool first.

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