UPJOKE
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what is the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search of a golf ball.

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8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

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A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests there, she spotted an attractive man standing alone.

So she approached him, smiled and said politely, "Hello, my name is Carmen."

"That's a beautiful name", he replied, "Is it a family name?"

"No", she replied, "As a matter of fact, I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore, I choose Ca...

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A lady walks into a car dealership and browses around. Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a salesperson doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman.

With a pl...

I went to visit a friend at the hospital and the only parking spot was at the C section.

I had to climb out of the car through the sunroof.

I submitted almost a dozen jokes to my local paper, hoping one of them would win a spot on the front page, but...

No pun in ten did

Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid.

If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to...

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A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."


He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.


They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."


She's there at 6:30 am. sharp ...

A man dies one day and finds himself in Hell, much to his surprise.

The man has never sinned, he has attended church somewhat regularly and often gives to charity.

He asks at the gate if there has been a mistake to which the ferryman gives no answer.

He figures there is little hope for him, but somehow he will make the best of his situation.

He ...

A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.

She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde was startled. Sh...

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That spot between your balls and your inner thigh, y'know they call that your "groin"?

I had no idea. I went my whole life thinking people had cockpits.

Pepito was the dumbest kid in his classroom…

Pepito wasn’t a very bright kid. He often failed his tests and annoyed his teachers. One day, his teacher, Ms.Emily, told him he had one last chance to do well. Pepito took a test, but inevitable failed. Ms.Emily expelled him from school and told him he was the dumbest kid she had ever met. She made...

I spotted my ex girlfriend at the other end of the museum hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello.

There was just ..too much history between us.

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist colony?

It isn’t hard.

I finally found my wife’s G-spot.

Turns out, it’s in her sister.

50 Jokes for 50 US States

# ALABAMA

When a visitor to a town in Alabama spotted a dog attacking a boy, he grabbed the animal and throttled it with his bare hands. An impressed reporter saw the incident and told him the next day's headline would scream "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

'...

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Vladimir Putin and his driver die in a car accident

Not surprisingly, they end up in Hell. The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. They look around and don't see much difference between the two; really, they both look fairly nice and pleasant. The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat ...

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Dave

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doing?'' His wif...

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When he was a little boy, Jonny loved tractors.

His wallpapers? Tractors. His toys? Just tractors? His clothing? All tractor-themed. Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him, ...

A nurse went to the hospital for her first day on the job

Due to a miscommunication she did not know the name of the ward she had been assigned. Instead she was told to take medicine to the ward since the supervisor was running late

Upon reaching the spot, she saw there were only 3 men in the hospital beds. Starting her shift, she began to hand out ...

I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

The Bermuda Triangle is a great vacationing spot

most people that go there, never come back.

Myself & a bunch of guy friends tried to go to the new strip club named “The G Spot”…

We couldn’t find it.

Dog Joke

I spotted an albino Dalmatian the other day. It was the least I could do.

To the person who stole my spot in the queue!!

I am after you now!!

What’s a chef’s favorite spot?

The Marinara Trench

I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall.

I heard a bang.
"3:45 PM", he said.

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.

Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bi...

A priest, a minister and a rabbi go fishing

After rowing thier small boat to thier favorite spot, the priest says to the rabbi;

"This a great spot. Lots of nice fish"

After about an hour, the priest stands up announces he needs to answer the call of nature, steps out of the boat and walks across the water to shore, disappears f...

Jesus Christ walks into a bar...

He spots a Russian man with a glass of water.
He asks "My son, are you a believer?"
The Russian replies "No."
Jesus waves his hands and behold! The glass is changed to wine.
"Well my son, do you believe now?"
The Russian frowns and shakes his head.

The next day, Jesus...

2 hunters, Bill and Tom, were out in the Blue Mountains one wintery day – looking for some feral game.

After nearly an entire day without a sighting they spotted a herd of feral goats and started stalking.

So excited & intent were they on their targets that one of them, Bill, didn't watch his footing and had the misfortune to trip and fall off a 12m cliff. Tom found him at the bottom in g...

Where were you last night already?

Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base.

They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted t...

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A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51.

One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Veg...

A brunet, a redhead, and a blond are trying to break out of the prison...

It took them weeks to find a weak spot on the wall where they could climb over in the middle of the night. After waiting for a cloudy, moonless night, they are finally ready to escape.

As the brunet climbs over the top of the wall, she makes a little bit of noise, and one prison guard asks an...

20 minutes

Late at night, a cop was driving past a well known lover’s spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light on.

The cop drives up to the car, to get a closer look.
He sees a young man behind the wheel, browsing his phone, and a young woman in the rear seat, also browsing her phone....

Stan and Eddy go fishing

Near Corner Brook.....

They drop the 14' aluminum boat in a nice local lake, fire up the 9.9 and go looking for a good spot.

After several hour of no bites they finally find a shoal and start catching fish.

After a bit Stan says to Eddy" I need to go to the can, we need to go ...

2 newfies go fishing

So they go to the local marina and rent a small boat. After trying several spots they find a good spot and land many nice fish.

The guy in the front says to his buddy:

" This is a great spot, we should mark it"

So his pal pulls a sharpie marker out of his coat and draws a big X...

a man walks into a bar....

a man walks into a bar, puts an iguana and a frog on the bar and orders a pint.

the barman spots this and says "oi, wtf are you doing bringing them in here?!?"

the man takes a sip of his pint and says to the barman "i bet you 100£ i can make the frog sing".

the barman says "ok, ...

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Six Lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

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My first joke here.

A woman goes to an expensive carpet store in hopes of purchasing a new area rug.She spots a beautiful rug after a few minutes of searching and goes to check it out.As she bends down to touch the rug she accidentally rips a silent but deadly fart.
A salesman notices her from afar and comes to assi...

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A park ranger catches a hunter in the act of eating a spotted owl. Feathers and bones surround his campfire.

The ranger says, "The spotted owl is a highly endangered species. Killing one is a federal crime."

The man says, "Yes, I admit that I killed and ate that owl. However, in my defense, I was lost in the wilderness for three days and frankly I was starving. The bird flew directly at me; I raised...

What do communists and the male g-spot have in common?

They're both prostate.

Golf

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf & enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I've played so poorly all...

A man with a hunchback, limp and massive bald spot is sitting in a bar, drinking his beer

When a knock out blonde sits next to him, smiles and says "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" Man, dumbfounded, can only nod. He gets his drink and woman keeps flirting. Guy, thinking this must be some sort of prank isn't engaging when she suddenly asks if he wants to go to her place. "What the hell, why ...

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot with a sign on the cage that said $50

‘Why so little?’ she asked the pet store owner.
The pet store owner looked at her and said ‘Look, I should tell you first this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.’
The woman thought about it and decided to have the bird anyway.
She to...

G-Spot

Difference between a G Spot and golfball?
A man will look for his golfball.

A chef went to a dentist

He'd recently had a new plate implanted and felt some pain in the area.

Upon examination, the dentist stated "the acrylic is starting to deteriorate. Tell me, have you been eating a lot of Hollandaise sauce?"

"Yes," said the chef "it's a favorite. Is that bad?"

"Well," explain...

A policeman spotted an elderly lady driving while knitting.

"Pullover!" he screamed.

"No, it's a scarf!" she yelled back.

At last.......I have managed to find my wife's 'G' spot....

....who would have thought her sister had it the whole time

A man goes into a shop in Chinatown and sees a gold sculpture of a rat.

He can't stop staring at it. It's like something is calling out to him. He asks the old man behind the counter "How much for the statue?"

The old man strokes his beard and replies "$10 for the statue, $100 for the story."

"Story? Forget that I'll just take the statue," the man says. He...

I went to Walmart today , and I was there for literally 5 minutes. When I came out there was a state trooper writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.

So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!

So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face...

Kitty

A cat walks into a bar and orders coffee. The waiter is speechless and seeing this, the cat asks:

\- Is anything the matter?

\- Well, yeah.. you're a cat.

\- So?

\- You can talk..

\- I fail to see the problem. Please get me my order.

\- Right away, it's just...

My girlfriend wanted to go to the most expensive spot in the city for her birthday

She was not happy when I took her to Chevron

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The chicken farmer

A chicken farmer is visited by an official looking person one day. The farmer has no clue who the visitor is. The visitor asks "What do you feed your chicken?"

The honest and innocent farmer says "they just pick worms in the fields and eat whatever seeds and grains and crap they can get hold ...

A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years.

The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.

“What’s the first hut for?” he asks.

“That’s my house,” says the castaway.

“What’s the second hut for?”

“That’s my church.”

“And the third hut?”

“Oh, that?” sniffs the castaway. “That’...

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A car in central London was weaving all over the road one night.

A patrol car spotted him and pulled him over. The officer approached the car and said, “Sir, get out of the car, I need you to blow into this breathalyser.”

The driver reached into his pocket and produced a doctor’s note. It read: “This man suffers from chronic asthma. Do not make him perform...

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Ladies night

Two ladies, neighbors, go out for drinks one night. The cocktails taste great and when it’s time to go home they decide to walk as they both had too much to drink. At some point during the walk they both have to pee really urgently. There isn’t a bathroom nearby, but a little later they pass by a ce...

Why are cheetahs great to exercise with?

Because they will spot you at the gym!

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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.

He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.”

“Oh really, hmm, didn't know that.”

Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a tosser and he didn't care!"

"You just don't ...

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A Newfoundlander shows up for a job interview in the middle of Alberta.

The foreman can tell right away by how he talks and thinks to himself, "Oh no, I don't want to hire a Newfoundlander.." so he comes up with an idea on the spot;

"Before I hire you, I want to see if you can pass a quick cognitive test. I'll give you a pen and paper, and you try to abstractly d...

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"...

Among the thousands of bees in a hive, how do you spot the Queen?

She's obeese.

In Siberia, at the edge of the sea, a fisherman is going about his business. Suddenly, an American submarine emerges from the water.

The lid on top opens and a sailor comes out. For a while he observes the surroundings with binoculars, then he shouts: "Set course to north-north-east!" He crawls back in, slams the lid closed and the boat disappears underwater.

The man stares in awe at the now still water and when he comes b...

The CEO of a hardware company calls in his top ad man and tells him, "We need a new TV spot for our B&Q Nails line."

A week later, the ad man comes back with a videotape and pops it into the VCR in the CEO's office. The commercial starts and the CEO sees Jesus being nailed to the cross while a voice over says, "B&Q nails: they get the job done." The CEO is irritated and says, "That is completely unacceptable! ...

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2 whale friends are swimming in the ocean

After a while, they spot a boat and one of the whales goes 'hey! That's the boat that harpooned my father!'

'We have to avenge him!' said the other whale.

So they decided to swim under the boat and blow out of their blowholes at the same time, so the boat would capsize and the men wo...

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The tale of the fly and the lake

Once upon a time, at a small lake in the forest, a little fly was hovering over the calm waters, close to the water's edge.

Unbeknownst to it, a carp spotted the little insect from under the water's surface, and thought to itself:

*"If you fly just a little lower, buddy, I can just jum...

A while ago I did a #trashtag cleanup of all the beverage containers in the local partying spot near an old stream in the hills, and just revisited it.

It looks so much better now that it doesn't even look real.

There's something that's almost artificial about it, it's so pristine.

It just looked a little... off, and it was hard to figure out what was wrong.

Eventually I realized why.

It was the uncanny valley effect.

Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....

visits a modern art exhibition. "What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."

"Ah-h… And what i...

A Lion Spots A Lost Dog In The Jungle

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and ...

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The black sponge

One day Little Johnny (who was only 4 years old at the time) was taking a shower with his mother when all of a sudden, he noticed the space between his mother’s legs.

\- “Mum what’s that black spot between your legs?” he asked her, to which she replied

\- “Oh Johnny that’s just my lit...

A man is watching the news

and the news anchor says that a gorilla has escaped the local zoo. Crikey the man thinks to himself as he spots a gorilla in his garden tree. He calls the zoo who send an animal catcher to come get the gorilla. He rolls into the driveway in a large van. He opens the van door and inside he has a poli...

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A man walks into a barber shop

The man walks in an sits down.

Barber: “So how do you want it cut?”

Customer: “Well, I’d like you to leave it patchy on the sides, give me some bald spots on the top, and cut a zig zag all the way up the back.”

the Barber steps back in shock.

Barber: “Sir… I can’t do that...

A mixup at the gates of hell

The devil was sitting at the gates of hell when an old man suddenly arrived in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looked at his paperwork,

and frowned. He was unable to find this old man’s data file.



“This can’t be right,” the old man said, looking at the D...

Why did the ancient philosopher build 2 spots to park his boat?

We’ll never know, it’s a paradox.

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A guy goes into a bar

where he meets a pair of conjoined twins who are joined at the side. They hit it off and proceed to booze the night away. Closing time comes around and they decide to tak the party back to his house. He gets in the door and the twins immediately drop and one starts blowing him while the other tounge...

I tried looking up Ernst Gräfenberg, the physician who the G-Spot is named after.

After an hour of looking, I gave up.

Hang-glider

Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding.

Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight.

He takes off running and reaches the edge--into the wind he goes!
<...

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The best spot to Masturbate without getting caught

is behind the Kitchen Door.


Or have you ever been caught masturbating behind it? No? There you go.

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A man is walking to work when he spots a young boy sitting on a park bench, covered in empty candy wrappers.

The boy had a stack of candy bars, and was getting ready to open another one, when the man stops him and says:

“Young man, you really should not be eating this many candy bars. Overeating sugar like that can lead to all sorts of medical problems that will make you die younger!”

The boy...

I know what you did

A little kid is often picking his nose. His mother tells him: "Honey, don't do this". The little kid asks "why?". The mother wants to think of some excuse so she says: "because... when you do it, then when you grow up, you will be fat like our neighbour next door."

After some time the lit...

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The guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me!"

"I understood every word," says the pa...

A cop is driving down the freeway when he looks over and spots a granny knitting whilst balancing the steering wheel with her knees

He pulls alongside the granny, and angrily shouts "pull over!"

The granny shouts back, "no, it's a scarf"

Golf Trick Shot

This American golf fanatic always dreamed of playing at st. Andrews, and finally got the chance.

Going with his wife, they teed off and he proceeded to play the best game of his life.

After 9 holes, he was 5 strokes under par, and was on cloud nine.

On the back nine, he start...

A blonde and an alligator

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde ...

Nine Words

Once upon a time, long before any type of writing or sign language there lived an attractive young prince.

This prince, through no fault of his own, was cursed by a witch such that he was only allowed to say one word per year.

Fortunately, however, he WAS allowed to save up his words.<...

Do you know how to spot clickbait?

Obviously not

Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?

He doesn’t want to be spotted

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So there is this bear hunter

So this chap is out bear hunting. He sees a large bear, sneaks up on it, takes his shot and misses!

The bear spots him and charges. The hunter runs but trips and the bear is on him. To his surprise the bear doesn't maul him to death but says:

"Look, I've eaten today but I am a bit ho...

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[OC] I just made this joke up - be gentle

A small breasted woman was walking along the sidewalk in New York City on her lunch break, going to get something to eat. As she passed by a nearby constuction crew, they started cat-calling her.

Normally, she would just ignore them, but one guy in particular kept making fun of the fact that...

Dating a girl with an OnlyFans is a lot like having your own private, reserved parking spot.

Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.

We just got a dog, we called him "G-Spot"

I can't find him anywhere.

Two men are lost in the desert when they spot a tree covered in bacon.

One of the men exclaims "a bacon tree! we're saved". However as he rushes over to it he dies in a hail of bullets. It turns out that it wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

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Thor cruises the universe looking for the perfect woman.

He eventually comes to Earth. He spots this amazing-looking woman in a club, so he asks her if she wants a drink.

"Yeth I'd love a drink she replies".

A bit later Thor asks her to dance.

"Yeth, I'd love to dance " she replies.

In the end Thor decides to ask her back to ...

I was driving home from work down the highway, when I spotted a cow with 12 udders..

Sounds funny, doesn’t tit?

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A hunter tries a new hunting spot

It's a beautiful and large forest,

"I'd be sure to find some deer in here" he thought to himself

After a few hours trying and failing to find any deer the hunter realized he's hopelessly lost. He decides the only way out is to get someone's attention. He aims and fires three times int...

The Legend of Saint Andrew

While Jesus was on the cross, several of his disciples were in the crowd nearby. When Jesus spotted Andrew, he called out to him "Andrew! Andrew!" At this, Saint Andrew pushed his way through the crowd, "Yes Lord! What is it?". The Roman guards saw the commotion and roughly bashed Andrew back with t...

Although Steve Irwin was known as the crocodile hunter

....he will always have soft spot in his heart for stingrays

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A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".

"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".<...

I walked into the local supermarket,

I was walking around for about 30 minutes just browsing the items and items of stuff. Finally turned a corner to the vegetable isle, I spotted a leak on the floor. So I went to the staff desk and reported a leak in isle 6, anyway eventually someone came out to look at it.

They told me to poi...

Women are like parking spots

The best ones are always taken and all that are left are either paying or handicapped

An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore.

He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?" ...... "Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said. "Wow" says the Zebra, "forty years ago! How did you remember that?" "That's easy" said the elephant. "...

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He as...

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A Mexican, a Spaniard and an American are all travelling in a plane

When suddenly, the plane crashed onto a small island. The three emerged from the crash remains and noticed they're the only survivors.

They quickly organized and started gathering materials to survive when suddenly, a group of native cannibals surrounded them with spears and took them to the...

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A Scottish man walks into a bar, looking depressed.

He sits down at the bar and orders a shot. The bartender hands it to him, and he downs it in one go, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and scowling. The bartender, knowing from years of experience that this man must obviously have something he needs to get off his chest, begins buffing a gl...

A man is walking in the park. He spots an attractive woman Sitting on the bench. He goes up to her and says

Man: “Do you believe in love at first sight or am I going to have to walk by again?”

Woman: no need to, I’m blind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bored Superman

One day Superman is flying around looking for crime. Lex Luther is locked up along with all the other villains so not much is going on. Superman sees Batman crouched next to a gargoyle on a building so stops by to see what's up. "Hey Batman what's good wanna do something?" Batman answers gruffly, "I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Memory Man

An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the barman when he spotted an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man.
“That’s the Memory Man.” sa...

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