Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian.

It was the least I could do for the guy.

Eric is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is.

“That desk is going for £2000,” says the shopkeeper.

“$2000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Eric.

“Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?”

The desk taps one of its legs on t...

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A woman goes to the doctor. “Doc! I have two green spots on my inner thighs. And they’re growing”

The doctor examines her but can’t figure out why the two green spots inside her thighs exist or why they’re slowly getting larger.

The doctor is dumbfounded and finally takes her sexual history.

“Are you in a sexual relationship?”

“Yes doc. With my boyfriend.”

“Tell m...

A hunter and his friend are walking down a path when they spot a deep hole in the ground.

The hunter says "how far do ya reckon that hole goes?" The friend replies with "i don't know, lets chuck something down there and find out." They both lug an old radiator from the nearby bushes over to it and let it fall in. They start to count and listen for the thud, but before they hear it land, ...

I was at a friend's funeral and spotted an attractive girl.

Wasn't long before I got mourning wood.

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm worried about my vision! I'm seeing spots in front of my eyes."

The doctor asks, "Have you seen an opthalmologist yet?"

The guy says, "No, just the spots."

Santa spots a girl atop a tree...

He notices her ragged clothes and lack of undergarments.

Pitying the girl and in Christmas spirit, he asks her to come back down and gives her a crisp €5 bill. He implores her to splurge on a fresh set of underwear and have a great Christmas.

The girl, greatly delighted, heads back hom...

theres something suspicious about the location of the g-spot

i just cant quite put my finger on it

How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?

It's not hard.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

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A hungry fish spots a fly sitting on the bank of the river.

The fish really wants the fly to come closer to the edge of the water, so he can jump up and eat him.

Meanwhile, there's a fisherman a few feet downstream. He sitting on a little stool, eating a cheese sandwich, and wishing that the fly would drop down about 4 inches so the fish would catch a...

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Two old friends were walking down the beach, and one spots an ancient-looking oil lamp.

He picks up the lamp, and just as he began to inquire 'What's thi...", his buddy rips the item out of his hands and begins furiously rubbing on the side of it.

Smoke began to swirl from the end of the lamp, and coalesced into a muscular man in old Arabian attire.

"I am a jinn who has b...

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A prominent local pastor drives a young female congregant to a remote spot ...

... he starts kissing and feeling her up, then he starts feeling around under her skirt. Just then, the police arrive.

Cop: "I see what you're doing. She's underage. Get out of the car now."

Pastor: "But officer! I'm Pastor Fluff!"

Cop: "I don't give a fuck if you're up her ass,...

My wife just made this up on the spot: What did the top dog of the pack do for fun on the weekend?

He drove his 'alpha' Romeo!

A Secluded Beach Spot

I was at the beach with my wife the other day and we took a walk around an area with some pretty big rock bluffs and boulders and things. It was really nice, and surprisingly secluded for the area. Nobody was around but a bunch of seagulls. Terns, actually, my wife corrected me.

We find a spo...

Do you know how to spot clickbait?

Obviously not

How can you can you spot a fake Van Gogh painting?

On the back, it'll be labeled "Ear-Regular."

-Mr. Johnson this looks great. Your educational is just spot on. You have decent career for this job. And you values seem to alike with our corporation. Lastly i wanna ask, what are some of you weaknesses?

-I am hard boiled liar.

Have you heard of an Indian restaurant named Ghee spot?

It is difficult to find

As a member of the dairy industry we're in quite a hard spot today after Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar speech

I mean when he goes missing do we put his picture on our cartons?

At a boat rental concession the manager spots a boat out on a lake and yells through his megaphone,"Number 99,come in please. Your time is up."

Several minutes pass but the boat doesn't return.

"Boat number 99," He again hollers, "Return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you over time."

"Something's wrong!We only have 75 boats."the manager pauses then raises his megaphone,"Boat number 66,are you okay?"

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A bear walks into a bar, and sees that there isn’t a single spot at the bar available

He walks up to a seat, eats the woman sitting there in a single bite, and sits down.

He orders a drink and the bartender shakes his head, “Sorry, we don’t serve bears on drugs.”

“I’m not on drugs,” the bear replies.

“Well, that was just a bar bitch you ate!”

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Spotted Snakes

I read this a long time ago.

A Captain takes over a command during WW2 in the middle of the Pacific.

As he is looking through the reports, he finds morale in the basement, a few desertions, and the base is rampant with STD's.

He calls his top Sergeant in for an explanation. The...

A man wants to park his car. But there are no spots.

So he gets out of his car and goes down to his knees and he prays: ‘o lord, if you find me a spot I will go to church every Sunday and I will never drink beer again.’

The moment he gets up he sees a spot and screams: ‘nevermind I already found one.’

While browsing the charity shop window I spotted sign that read "4k 60 inch widescreen for $1 because volume is stuck on full" I thought

I can't turn that down!

Google Pixel phones will soon come with its own proprietary mobile hot spot service that is currentlyin Alpha.

Much like their other services, Gmail and Gmaps, It is called Gspot, but phones are having a difficult time finding it.

A garage should be called a Carage. And the parking spots closest to the door should be called CarKing spots.

Road rage should permanently be renamed to carnage.

I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend, but I was too self conscious to say hello.

There was just too much history between us.

A drunk man staggers into an empty church. He looks right. He looks left. When he spots the big crucifix in the middle, he makes his way down the center aisle, muttering under his breath. Finally, when he's right underneath it, he waves his bottle around and starts screaming at it.

"YOU! S'all YOUR fuggin' fault!" he screams. "I los' ma job, ma wife lef' me, ma kids ran 'way, and today ma dog died! Jus' you wait! I'ma come back with ma shotgun and give ya what for!"

And then he leaves, cursing and shouting all the way.

Meanwhile, the priest has been hiding in the...

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A well dressed gentleman spots an attractive lady sitting at the bar

He walks up to her and says:

"Excuse me, sorry to bother you but can I smell your pussy?"

Offended and taken aback the woman replies "No!" In a sharp and stern voice.

To which the man replies:

"Oh, it must be your feet then."

A guy with a “Baby on Board” sticker just backed out of a parking spot and directly hit my car.

This guy has serious issues with pulling out.

The people who chose Saturn's name were spot-on.

It really has a ring to it.

I once thought I spotted a Leopard

But It turns out they are born like that.

A snail was walking down the road when he spots these three heavily built, thuggish turtles following him...

He got scared and quickened his pace, made a few left and right turns to lose them. After 3 hours, quivering and shaking, he looked back and to his dismay they were still following him, and worse they were getting closer.

He was now running for his life as fast as he could, terrified and swea...

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6 life lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

I spotted several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a garage sale.

They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head.

“I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”

We've been married for 15 years and finally found the G spot.

Turns out my sister in law had it all along

I was gonna comment on this weird thing my dog does where no matter how badly he has to go, he always waits until he gets to the exact same spot to go to the bathroom.

But then I realized I do the same thing, so who am I to criticize.

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The Queen of England is taking a tour of an American hospital when she spots a patient furiously masturbating through an open door.

Her Majesty: "What's going on here? This is absolutely appalling."

Nurse: "Actually, Your Highness, it's for medicinal purposes. This patient has a very serious condition, and if he doesn't orgasm at least once every eight hours, his testicles will swell and cause fatal clotting."

Her ...

A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.

Pun in, ten dead.

I just bought a book on spotting scams.

I paid $999 for it, so it must be good.

How do you spot the trombone player's children at the playground?

They are afraid of the slide and they can't swing.

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot.

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."

He figures the early tee-time will discourage her.

The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.

They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."

She's there at 6:30 am. sharp and beats al...

How do you spot tourists in California?

They stop at red lights.

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A woman decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says,

“Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

“Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated…

A waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over ...

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You must be in F**king management!

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am". The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hove...

This is a Mean joke.

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The e...

A black guy loses a middle finger in a work accident.

The surgeon tells him: "I'm sorry but I cannot attach your original finger due to the damage. However, I can attach one from a dead person. The thing is, I only have fingers from white people available."

The black guy says it's no problem, as long as he can use all fingers again.

Surge...

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Two blokes spot a dog licking his testicles

One says to the other, "I wish I could do that"

His mate responds, "You probably could, but he might bite you."

The crippled man covered his bald spot

He put on his handy cap

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In celebration of my cake day, here's the worst joke I've ever created.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him ...

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A man is having an affair on his wife with his secretary

One day after work they lose track of time while making love in his office. In a panic the man exclaims he must get home now or else his wife will surely know. Worried, the secretary asks what he will say. The man has an idea, and tells her to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass while h...

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Spot

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.


The problem develope...

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking dog for sale"

Intrigued he walks in and sees the dog. "So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog

"I have had a very full life" says the dog. "I have lived in the Alps, rescued avalanche victims, I served my country in Iraq, and now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home...

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You know what that little black spot is on the top of birdshit?

More birdshit.

A man is driving through the parking garage looking for a spot.

He isn’t having any luck. In desperation he raises his hands to the heavens and says “Lord, I know I haven’t been the best person. But I promise that I’ll be more loving to my wife. I’ll spend more time with my kids. I’ll even give up drinking! Just help me find a spot!”

As he turns the corne...

A joke I made on the spot to my piano teacher

Me: Hey, so by the way, I’m not going to be able to come to practice April 4th, I got a robotics meeting that day (I actually did have that, this wasn’t just added in for me to make the joke)

Piano teacher: Alright, no problem, let me just write that down.

Me, in a stroke of genius: I ...

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A woman spots an attractive man in a bar.

"Hi", she says. "My name is Carmen"
"Well, that's a beautiful name" he replied, "Is it a family name?"
"No," she said. "I gave it to myself as it reflects the things I like most - cars and men"
"What's your name?" she asked.
"BJ Titsbeerngolf" he replied.

What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?

Address

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Bakery in Pakistan

A guy named Sarim works at a bakery in Karachi, Pakistan. As a gopher, he is obligated to serve the baker. One day the baker says "Sam, go and get me a bag of flour." Sam goes to get the bag and puts it on his head. Unfortunately the bag breaks and covers him from head to toe. Dejected, he walks bac...

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost

He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. 

"I am," replie...

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An old, gross joke about deer hunting



*This ancient joke pre-dates the Internet. It is from the South and is best told with a southern accent.*

I was deer hunting in the mountains of North Carolina. After about four hours I shot a nice 400lb buck. While I was hauling the dear back to my truck, I was stopped by the game wa...

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A Woman enters a jeweller's and spots a diamond ring

She bends down to get a closer look but a fart slips out. Hoping no one heard it she asks a saleswoman the price. The saleswoman says "Well if you farted just by looking at it your going to shit yourself when you hear the price".

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A Boy was having sex with a girl on a Railway track

The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it.
He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants. The driver shouts out to the boy...

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A hunter is in the jungle looking for a prey when he spots a majestic tiger...

Thinking that he has hit the jackpot, he shoots the tiger but the bullet misses it by an inch. The hunter gets really nervous and pleads the tiger not to kill him.

The tiger says,"I won't kill you but only on one condition. You have to let me fuck you". Seeing no other option the hunter says...

God in a parking lot

A man is struggling to find a parking space. “Lord,” he prays. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.”

Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man says: “Never mind,...

While sports fishing off the Florida coast in Key West, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber walking on the shore, the tourist shouted,

“There wouldn’t by chance be any
alligators in these waters?!”“No,” the old man hollered back, “haven’t been any for years!” Feeling relieved, the tourist
started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway toward shore he asked the old man,
“Say, how’d you get rid of the gators, any...

A guy visits a carnival and amongst the merry-go-rounds, vendors and performers he spots a man with a tiny pony.

He walks up to the man and asks: "What's with the pony?"

"For a dollar the pony can do pretty much any trick you ask of it" the man replies.

"That's cool" the guy says and proceeds to take out his wallet, retrieve a dollar bill and puts it in the jar next to the pony.

He extends...

Did you know

12.5% of statistics are made up on the spot

Today I spotted an albino dalmatian.

Now everyone will be able to tell it's a dalmatian.

A man is on trial for killing and eating a spotted owl.

He tells the judge, "I'm sorry it was endangered, but I had been lost in the woods for five days and I was starving." The judge deliberates a while and dismisses the case. Before the man leaves the judge whispers, "Between you and me, how did it taste?" The man replies, "It was sort of like a cross ...

What does Area 51 and a g-spot have in common?

All these guys talking about what they’re going to do to it, but they can’t even find it.

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A retired Marine is standing alone at a public occasion

A beautiful young woman spots him and decides to have a little fun with him.
She goes up to him and asks,"When did you last have sex?"
He replies saying,"1945"
The woman feels bad for him and says,"Come with me and we'll have a great time"
The marine goes with her and they have amazing s...

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A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!".

"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Fucker fish".<...

There's this guy who's been staying in one spot at the park for days without sitting or laying. People are calling him super amazing. I personally just think..

he's out standing.

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A lion is taking a peaceful drink out of a jungle stream, when a gorilla spots him through the trees

The gorilla sneaks up behind the lion, grabs his hindquarters, and screws him up the butt


The lion roars out and the gorilla takes off through the trees. The gorilla manages to stretch out his lead a bit, when he comes on a camp. The gorilla decides to disguise himself as a human on saf...

What are black spots lost in the middle of North Pole?

arctic monkeys

[NSFW] A man buys a new motorcycle on the day he is to visit his girlfriend’s family for the first time.

A man buys a new motorcycle on the day he is to visit his girlfriend’s family for the first time.

After handing his the keys, the sales man hands him a jar of Vaseline and says “if you want to keep the fender looking shiny you will want to rub some Vaseline on the fenders before it rains. It’...

Men are like parking spots.

The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Why does Waldo wear stripes on his shirt?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.

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A pastor is traveling home when he spots a man selling food.

"Dam fish! Get your dam fish here!" Yells the man. The man explains to the pastor that he caught these fish at the local dam, which is why they're named dam fish. The pastor buys one and takes it home to his wife.

When he gets home, he tells his wife to make dinner. "Cook the dam fish!" His ...

If you found the best hiding spot.

You haven't found the best hiding spot!

A Policeman spots a man walking with three penguins

He walks up to confront them

P: Excuse me Sir but what are doing with these penguins

M: Well we decided to take advantage of the weather and go for stroll

P: You should go take those penguins to the zoo they would love it there

The Man agrees and walks off and the next d...

A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.

The guy sitting next to him says, “Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we got married in 1967.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” says the first man. “Couldn’t you find a friend or rel...

Why does the leopard always lose at hide and seek?

He is always spotted!

Billy Bob and Bubba are walking down a trail when they spot a human head under a bush...

"Lookit that, Bubba!" Billy Bob says. "Ain't that cousin Jeff?"

Bubba picks up the head, raises it to his eyes, squints, then shakes his head.

"Naw," he says. "Jeff was taller."

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Everybody knows Dave!

Everybody knows Dave

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, a...

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A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51

One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Veg...

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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

A man and woman are driving down the road...

A man and woman are driving down the road after dinner. The weather is awful, pouring rain and freezing cold.

As they go around a corner, the woman spots a dog on the side of the road that looks like it’s been hit by a car. She pleads with her husband to stop so they can check on the poor do...

How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach?

He has the white cane with the red end you unfunny, reposting, karma whoring chumps.

A father and young son are out for a walk...

About a block from their house, the pair spot a pair of stray dogs humping furiously in an empty lot.

"Ewww! Daddy, what are they doing?!?!"

"Um...well, Son. They're making puppies...."

The boy watched the dogs as they passed by, totally confused by what he was seeing.

La...

What's an Elephat's favorite vacation spot?

Tuskany

Two physicists go hiking

A theoretical physicist and an applied physicist go hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Suddenly they spot a black bear running towards them. The applied physicist starts taking off his boots.

The theoretical physicist says, "It's not possible to outrun a bear."

The applied physicist say...

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3 Cowboys NSFW

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, all exchanging tall tales about how tough they all were.

The first cowboy says “I’m the toughest of the bunch. I was out in the tall grass, looking for a good spot to take a piss. All the sudden this snake appears. And you can see in its eyes, it’s out fo...

How would you spot a linux user?

Don't worry they will tell you themselves!

Seeking inspiration, a screenwriter goes to the holy place of Golgotha in Jerusalem, believed to be the site of Jesus's crucifixion. Finding a quiet spot, he begins to write. Unfortunately, a group of thieves sneak up behind him, knock him out, and steal his laptop.

Another victim of a cross site scripting attack.

Dark one

Women are like parking spots, the best ones
already taken so when noone is looking stick it into a disabled one.

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An officer spots an old woman with 2 large bags...

One of the bags rip and 1 dollar bills slowly fall out. The officer asks, “ma’am, did you steal those?” The old lady responds. She tells the officer, “No, I live next to a golf course. The golfers found a hole in my fence, so they pee through the hole, killing my flowers. So one day, while one of th...

A good fishing spot is worth a lot on the market

It's prime reel estate

Trees

I accidentally posted this to the Reddit subgroup "funny". Hopefully I have the right spot now!

Two trees are growing up side by side in the forest one is a birch tree, and one is a beech tree. They are so conceited, theyrarely noticed the rest of the forest around them. Until one day, they l...

If something is meant to stay in one spot but it keeps rolling around...

It’s pretty pointless.

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, ...

Why does everyone in Hawaii get free WiFi?

Cause they’re on a hot spot

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Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors. There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. ...

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So there's a new machine down at the drug store...

Kevin and Tom are talking one day at the bar when Kevin mentions his elbow has been bothering him and he needs to make a doctor's appointment.

Tom tells him, "No, don't make an appointment. There's an amazing new machine down at the drug store. All you do is put in a urine sample and $10 and...

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Fiat vs Ferrari

So on a nice and sunny Sunday afternoon Jim is taking his LaFerrari for a Spin on the Highway. Driving along for a while when Jim spots a broken down Car on the side of the road, apparently having some issues. As Jim is passing he realizes the Car is a Old Fiat 500.

Chuckling to Himself abou...

My cat passed away

two months ago but to this day I still avoid to step over her spot in the kitchen.

Don't you think it's time to bury her?

Three Mexican men are walking through a desert...

They are all hungry and haven't ate in days, in the distance they spot a tree that appears to have bacon growing from it, they slowly approach it not believing their eyes, all of a sudden the tree stands up and starts chasing and throwing things at them, one of the men shouts to the others "run!! it...

What did the bodyguard tell the president when he spotted a sniper?

Donald, Duck

Two boys play in a stream

Two boys are bored on a hot summer day, so they decide to go down to a local stream to play and cool off. They’re walking down the trail through the woods when they notice there’s somebody in their normal play spot. Curious, the boys sneak closer to the water and hide behind a bush as not to be seen...

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The Fly and the Pitchfork (long)

Once upon a time, there was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn when she happened upon a large pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to pig out. She ate and ate … and then... s...

Three blondes are walking through a forest when they spot tracks on the ground

The first blonde says: "Look, those are deer tracks."
The second blonde looks at them and says: "No, you're wrong, those tracks obviously belong to wolves."
The third blonde thinks for a minute and says: "You're both wrong, these are hog tracks, I'm sure."
They were still arguing when...

Cop pulls up next to two teens in a dark parking spot.

He is surprised to find they are sitting there, literally just reading.

"Why are you reading? How old are you?"

"I'm 19 officer."

"And her?"

"Oh, she'll be 18 in 20 minutes."

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What do you call the person who sleeps on the wet spot after sex?

Overcome

A man is walking down a beach when he spots a bottle with a cork in it.

He opens the bottle and out comes a genie. The genie is grateful to be out of the bottle and offers the man three wishes to be granted.

The man first wishes for a billion dollars in an offshore Swiss bank account. There's a flash of light and in his hand is a receipt for a billion dollars in...

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