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Why do the Scottish graze their sheep at the edges of a cliff?

They push back harder when you're shagging them.

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A guy was standing on the edge of Golden gate bridge...

... contemplating suicide. Out of nowhere comes out Santa and asks the guy:

Ho ho ho, whats the matter son?

Guy replies:

It's too much for me. This life isn't worth living for...

S:

Well, son, tell me what's wrong, I'm Santa i make wishes come true.

G:
...

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar.

The barman says,"Oh God, not U2 again.".......

A funeral director is standing at the edge of a cliff, about to jump

Funeral Director: I'm ruined! My funeral directory business has gone bankrupt! I will lose my home, my wife, my kids. I'm RUINED!!! RUINED!!!!!!!! Okay... on three, I jump. One... two... thr-

Man: What are you doing?

Funeral director: I'm about to commit suicide. You?

Man: Also ...

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A distressed but attractive woman stands at the edge of a cliff,

trying to get up the nerve to jump.



A passing hobo stops and says "Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"



The woman replies, "Get away from me, you sicko!"



The bum turns to leave and mutters "Fine, I'll just go wa...

A blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing on the edge of the pool ready for the 100 yard breast stroke race...

The starter shot the pistol and the three dove into the water and began swimming.

A few minutes later, the brunette finished and jumped out of the water. Then the redhead.

About twenty minutes later, the blonde emerged.

They awarded the gold to the brunette, the silver to the re...

There is a new reality show where flat earthers try to travel to the edge of the world.

Unfortunately the finale is not a cliff hanger.

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A beautiful girl is standing on the edge of a bridge

A beautiful girl is standing on the edge of a bridge about to jump off when a homeless comes up and asks if he could have sex with her before she jumps. She looks at him in disgust and swears him off. The man replied" that's fine I'll just wait for you down there"

A friend of mine believes that the Earth is flat. I challenged him to prove it by walking off the edge…

He eventually came around!

There are so many shows of flat-earthers trying to find the edge of the earth

They'll be so disappointed when they realise that not of them end on cliff hangers

My flat-earther friend said he would try to find the edge of the world

Though in the end he came around

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A good joke should have unexpected turns, cross a few lines, keep you on the edge of your seat, make you wonder how the hell it's all gonna end and may even make you piss yourself. Pretty simple guidelines.

I try to use them when I make jokes. My wife tried to use them when she drove me to work today.

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It was getting crowded in Heaven one day, so Saint Peter decided for one day to only accept people who could make him laugh.

A man came walking up to the pearly gates and Saint Peter said to him:

“Alright bud, you’re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why don’t you tell me about how you died”

The man looked at Saint Peter and said

“Oh man it was awful, I was absolutely SURE my wife was...

God notices heaven is getting a bit crowded

God notices heaven is getting a bit crowded

So he sits down with St Peter and says
“Look, too many people are getting in. As of tomorrow at 12pm, no one is getting in unless they’ve had a really bad day”

Peter nods, and the next day he sits down at the pearly gates when a man arrive...

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.



At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gent...

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead find a cliff.

There is a sign that says “cliff of wishes, jump and say what you desire and you shall land in it”.

The brunette says “here goes nothing” and jumps. She says “money” and lands in a huge pile of $100 bills.

The redhead jumps and says “the power to fly” and she doesn’t hit the ground, b...

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"The only ones who truly know where the edge is have already gone over."

"What the fuck have you done this is a nursing home for the blind goddammit Karen!!"







\*Pardon my french ladies.

A man once said "you should live life on the edge"

Then he fell off his bed

Three men were at the gates of heaven

There was only room for one person. St Peter asked each of them how they died, and the best story got through.

Man 1: I was adamant my wife was cheating. I came up to my apartment on the 24th floor and walked in, only to find my wife by herself. I was pleasantly surprised until I saw a man ha...

A couple live outside Buffalo, and are used to the rhythms of preparing for large snows.

One of these preparations for many years has been tuning in to the local radio station at 6:00 the night before a storm for an important announcement.

On a typical pre-storm night, the wife would tune in just prior to 6 to hear a message about which side of the street cars were to be parked o...

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A man with one arm

A man was jn a car accident causing him to lose an arm. After some depressing weeks the man goes to a high bridge to end his suffering.
While standing on the bridge’s edge the man observed a miraculous sight below, someone with NO arms. The armless man is jumping up and down in joy.
The one ...

My friend told me being a mixed kid is a double edged sword.

He says he can run really fast and rap to any beat, but he can't swim or jump.

A man buys a horse from an old pastor.

The pastor explains to the man that in order to make the horse go, he must say "Thank God," and to make him stop, he must say "Amen." The man nods in understanding.

He gets on the horse, readies himself, takes a deep breath, and says, "Thank God!"

Immediately, the horse takes off like ...

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The 3 Construction Workers

3 construction workers are sitting on the edge of a high rise they're helping to build, having lunch.

The first one, Alfredo, opens his lunchbox to find spaghetti.
"Mama Mia! Itsa spaghetti again! Ifa I see more spaghetti tomorrow, I'ma gonna jump off anda die!"

The next one, Jua...

Three knife-wielding ghosts were arguing on a hilltop at night.

Each one of them claimed to be able to kill the most people in a short span of time.

Without further arguing, the first ghost flew off quickly to a distance, and returned an hour later. The blade of his knife was stained red, and all over his white cloak were dark red patches.

"See tha...

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3 men are standing in front of Heaven's Door waiting to be let in when St. Peter says, "Sorry, boys, but Heaven has met their quota for the day

; however, if you tell me how you died and it is interesting enough, I will let you in."

The first man says, " I am a respectable businessman who lives with my wife in a condo on the 12th floor of The Rains Building. I suspected that my wife has been cheating on me, so I left work two hours e...

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A magical cliff

There were three men at the edge of a magical cliff. Jumping off of this cliff while saying something will turn you into the thing you said.

The first man looked up at the sky and said, “I’ve always wanted to fly,” so he jumped and yelled, “BIRD!” He turned into a bird and flew away.

...

A buddy of mine is one of those “flat Earther’s.” He said he’s angry and going to the edge.

I have a feeling he’ll come around.

A Chicken Walks Into a Library

A chicken walks into a library and up to the desk.
"Buk", says the chicken. So the librarian gives him a book. The chicken leaves with the book and returns five minutes later. "Buk," he says. So the librarian gives him another book. This goes on about eight more times, until finally the libr...

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A man goes running on the beach every morning. (Nsfw)

So there's this guy and every morning he goes for a run on the beach.


One day he sees a woman, with no arms and no legs just lying in the sand and crying.


So he walks up to her and asks what's wrong and she says


" well all my life, nobody has ever given me a hug." ...

At the ceramic tile factory they have employee parties where they make the tiles stand on edge. Instead of commending the skill involved they make fun of eachother.

It is an erect tile diss function.

What is the weapon of choice for straight-edge terrorists?

A Molotov Mocktail

One day a chicken saw a duck standing by the edge of the road looking at the other side...

The chicken walked over to the duck and said “ don’t do it pal you will never here the end of it.”

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A lion sees a spring running while wandering through the jungle.

He leans in to take a drink, head down, rear up and his tail swaying in the air. A gorilla wanders by and gives the lion the old Liberace and runs off. The lion gives chase through the jungle. The gorilla comes upon a campsite at the edge of the jungle and dashes into a tent. He grabs a hat, puts it...

A straight-laced former cop and a priest were driving down a country road

Walking along the edge of the road were some teens - their pants sagging, they were vaping had a beer in hand, and could clearly be hear cursing loudly. This enraged the former cop. He drifted toward the side of the road as if to hit them, then pulled back. Angry, he drifted over again. There was a ...

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I can't get Mirror's Edge to work on my computer and it's pissing me off.

My friend told me the game runs on windows.

A new lieutenant assigned

A freshly minted U.S. Army lieutenant is assigned to a base in Afghanistan. He walks around the base and sees everything is regulation except there’s a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp.

The lieutenant asks one of the men who has been there awhile why there’s a camel. The soldier ...

Two caterpillars are escaping a spider.

They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and uses them to steer the branch through the air with grace ...

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An actor about to shoot a scene with a lion

He noticed the filming crew was in a cage, barely enough for them plus their equipments
The actor felt the need to inquire about the safety measures they had regarding the lion

"Before the scene, we make sure the lion mated, just to take the edge off." the lion tamer said.

"I'm not ...

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Gambler gets a notice from IRS that he is being audited.

The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the IRS agent looks over his paperwork and says:

"The reason for your audit is that you have a relatively lavish lifestyle, but not much income to justify it, can you tell me what you do fo...

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A hungry fish spots a fly sitting on the bank of the river.

The fish really wants the fly to come closer to the edge of the water, so he can jump up and eat him.

Meanwhile, there's a fisherman a few feet downstream. He sitting on a little stool, eating a cheese sandwich, and wishing that the fly would drop down about 4 inches so the fish would catch a...

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Man walks into a bar on the roof of the Time Warner Center

After a few drinks he looks across at the second tower with awe, and notices a gentleman with black glasses doing the same. "Pretty cool, huh?" He says to him.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it...Did you know they specifically engineered these buildings to catch the wind and create an updraf...

Chicken sitting on the edge of a bed...

...smoking a cigarette, content. Egg laying on the bed looking frustrated. The egg says well... I guess that answers THAT question!

One day a man decided to retire... He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How...

Shipping out soon!

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you'v...

The longest circumcision in history

I had this mate and he used to go on about it his job all the time, you know the type? Work, work, work! Well this was particularly annoying in his case, as he was a professional circumciser.

I said to him one day do you enjoy your work? And off he went...

He said yes it’s a fantasti...

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A Texas Redneck, Japanese Business Man and Mexican are standing next to each other on a cruise ship, looking over the edge of the ship.

After a period of silence, the Mexican takes out a nice bottle of tequila and throws it overboard, and says, “There is nice tequila like that all over Mexico, that bottle means nothing to me.”

In an attempt to one-up the Mexican, the Japanese man pulls out a brand new Sony laptop and throws i...

We all have that one thing that pushes us over the edge

Mine was the Grand Canyon Tour Guide

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke)

Because that's where students have the most potential.

An old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and he said, ‘Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’

I now have a young bride who is pregnant with my child.

“So what do you think about that Doc?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and  then began to tell a story....

A landscaper is adding a bunch of sand along the edge of a pond...

He looks at the guy who owns the pond and asks "do you really want me doing this?"

The man snaps back, "YES! JUST KEEP WORKING!"

The landscaper replies "ok! Jeez! I'm just makin' shore!"

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Business was bad, the small company was on the edge of bankruptcy.

The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office.

"Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."

"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.

The owner loo...

The man and the priests horse

Once there was a man who needed a horse. He went to the market and found a horse for sale, which was currently owned by a priest.

He asked if he could buy the horse, and the priest said ‘Sure! One thing though, instead of ‘YeeHaw’, you say ‘praise the lord’ to make the horse go.

Inste...

What's the difference between a chestnut and a walnut?

It depends on how long you edge.

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

I was clinging for dear life on the edge of the cliff...

As the rescue team approached, one of the guys shouted, "Whatever you do, don't look down!"

So I started smiling...

An old "Dad Joke" from my collection that my son just retold tonight and nailed it. I've officially passed the torch.

A doctor is driving home along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible.

He immediately pulled the car to the side and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the ca...

The other day, my wife asked me if I could help her with a puzzle. She couldn't find any edges to start with and the colors all resembled each other.

After taking a look at the puzzle, I told her to put the corn flakes back in the box

Problem with windows

Wife text husband on a cold winter morning :
"Windows frozen won't open"

Husband texts back :
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edge with hammer"

Wife text's back 10 minutes later :
"Computer really messed up now"

Old scissors both are and aren't cutting edge technology.

Facts.

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"I want to prescribe you new cutting edge drug against depression. But I have good news and bad news about the drug"

"I would prefer to hear bad news first".

"Okay. Bad news are that said drug has many side-effects. You will feel dizzy, tired, bad taste in your mouth, periodical urges to vomit, etc."

"And good news?"

"You won't give a fuck."

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A DEA agent stopped by my farm yesterday.

“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said.

“By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied.

The DEA officer exploded, saying “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I have the authority of the federal government with me!”, he shouted before pul...

My coworker thinks the Earth is flat

I told him if that were true, cats would have already found the edge and pushed everything off.

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A man suspected his wife of cheating on him. (A long one, but a good one)

He suspected his wife was having an affair and cheating on him during her lunch hour at work. One day, he decided to leave work at lunchtime to try and catch her in the act. When he arrives at his apartment he yells out “honey! Are you here? I thought we could have lunch together!” Sure enough, the...

How do you send a girl with daddy issues over the edge?

Hi coming, I'm dad.

3 strings walk into a bar and sit down at a booth.

The first string goes up to the bar and asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender says “We don’t serve strings here, you should leave.”

The string goes back to his buddies and tells them the bad news. The second string is furious, and approaches the bar, and demands 3 beers with his money...

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An attractive, but disturbed woman stands at the edge of a cliff. As she peers over the edge, she feels there's someone watching her. Just as she suspected, there's a homeless man staring at her. He asks, "If you're going to kill yourself anyway, you mind if we have sex first?"

She tells him to piss off and to leave her alone. Clearly upset, the man mumbles to himself, "Fine, I'll just wait at the bottom."

An old joke from Isaac Asimov(fairly long).

As is well known, in this thirtieth century of ours, space travel is fearfully dull and time-consuming. In search of diversion, many crew Members defy the quarantine restrictions and pick up pets from the various habitable worlds they explore.

Jim Sloane had a rockette, which he called Teddy....

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Gruesome deaths

Three men go to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter tells them that heaven is currently overloading, and only people who have had particularly gruesome or sad deaths may enter. He then proceeds to ask the first man how he died.

"Well, it's a really weird story. I came home from work early because...

What's the best was to make love to a sheep?

On the edge of a cliff so it pushes back.

I like the way you think!

An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"
One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away....

Intelligent animals

Dolphins are highly intelligent animals. American scientists proved that after only a brief time in captivity, they are able to train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and toss them bits of fish.

What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals?

One is a fitted sheet...

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In light of people getting slapped by the pope.

There was this poor old guy named Donald who hears that the pope is going on tour and will be parading through his town. Donald was very excited that he might get a chance to meet the pope and shake his hand. So he decided to make a plan. He thought that the pope would want to meet the richest man i...

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Jenny, who is blonde, is driving down the road through the countryside. As she is traveling, on the right hand side of the road she sees another blonde woman attempting to row a wooden boat in the middle of a field

Frustrated by this sight, Jenny pulls her car over to the side of the road by the field and gets out. She goes to the edge of the road and starts yelling at the woman rowing the boat.

"You dumb bitch! It's because of blondes like you doing stupid crap like this that makes the rest of us loo...

Four men and a boat

Three blind men and a one-eyed man need to cross a lake in a row boat. So, the one-eyed man is the navigator helping to guide them while the blind men take turns rowing. Everything is going well and they get to the middle of the lake. Out of nowhere, a crow flies over and lands on the edge of the...

A preacher trained his horse...

A preacher trained his horse to go when he said "Thank God" and to stop when he said "Amen."

The preacher mounted the horse and said "Thank God" and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen." He took off again saying "Thank God"

The horse started going toward...

City slicker rides a horse

A city slicker goes out to the country wanting to have a horse ride. He has no experience so asks for a well trained horse. He is given a horse with the following instructions: the make the horse walk say "phew", to make it run say "yeah" and to make it stop, say "stop". Sounding easy the man says...

A man in the desert rents out a camel to ride on.

The rental guy asks, “Have you ever ridden one of these?”

The man replies, “No.”

“It’s simple. If you say Woah, it will walk. If you say Woah Woah, it will run. If you say Woah Woah Woah, it will run so fast you have to pray to god to stop.”

The man hops on the camel and says “W...

Two dictators are arguing about whose army is more obedient.

They walk to the edge of the cliff and call a soldier over. Putin commands his soldier to jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children."

Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier is about to jump when Putin grabs his ar...

Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat, in the middle of a lake.

Moses turns to Jesus and says, “Check out what I can do!” He proceeds to stand up in the boat, strike his staff, and boom! The water parts and the boat is resting on the bottom! After holding the water back for a few seconds, he releases his hold on the water. “I bet you can’t do anything that beats...

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A hiker gets lost in the woods...

A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating it raw.

A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered species.

In court...

A reporter is standing at the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide[Long]

a reporter in a small town is standing on the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide when as he is about to jump a road worker approaches him and asks "Are you going to jump?" The reporter replies "yep, there hasn't been a story in this town for years and I'm tired of it." The road worker thinks for ...

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A man walks into the pub bathroom...

He notices a dwarf by the urinal. The dwarf appears to be drunk as hell as he's swaying and seems to be making an effort not to puke. The man goes to the urinal and does what he came here to do.

As he turns to go to the sink and wash his hands the dwarf splutters:
\- Hey... hey you!
<...

Three friends are exploring an abandoned theme park when they come across a mysterious water slide.

At the top of the slide is a sign that reads ‘As you descend, shout out your wish and it shall be granted’.

The first friend goes down the slide and shouts ‘I WANT LOADS OF GOLD!’, and sure enough at the bottom he lands in a huge pool of gold coins.

The second friend, seeing this, goe...

My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff.

So I poked her

Did you hear what happened to the criminal who walked too close to the edge of the hole?

He felon.

A physicist goes outside and sees a man standing on the edge of a roof

The physicist shouts “Don’t jump, you have so much potential!”

A man walking along a cliffs edge falls over

As he falls he grabs root sticking out from the cliffs wall.

For dear life he screams and yells, “ CAN ANYONE HERE ME! I NEED HELP! DEAR GOD HELP ME!”

Loudly from the sky God speaks to him, “ My child, I’ll save anyone having faith in me. All you must do is release your hand from that...

Microsoft Edge is a big improvement over IE...

It downloads Chrome twice as fast!

An astronaut who travelled to the edge of the universe noticed an anomalous reading...

...his shuttle readings came back to inform him there was a flat solid matter extending from his location to the universe's horizon, like a path.

He approached cautiously but a black hole suddenly formed behind the ship. The spacecraft went haywire, lights blinking, alarms blaring and he bare...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam.

Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the jungle. Not that you could ever see those bastards mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when...

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling my boxers off when...

...my wife said, "You spoil those dogs."

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A cruise ship wrecks in the middle of the ocean.

The only three survivors are tourists from different areas of the United States. A man from Georgia, a man from Florida and a man from Hawaii. They float on a raft until they hit an island where they’re met by a tribe of fierce locals who despise outsiders. A member of tribe offers to translate for ...

Chrome and Microsoft edge were having an argument when suddenly...

Microsoft edge stopped responding

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There was once a really smart bee.

Ever since he was little, he had always wanted more than the simple, boring lives led by his fellow bees. After a few years, he left his job, his hive, and his family behind, in search of a better life.
He flew for hours until he came to a small Virginia town, on the edge of a forest. He landed, ...

- I just build a machine that produces knives

- Is it any good?

- It's cutting edge technology.

So there's an owl and a lizard smoking weed together up in a tree.

Then after about 20 minutes of smoking, the lizard all high says man I really need a drink of water. So the lizard stumbles down out of the tree and to the waters edge, he goes to take a drink and falls in,with the lizard panicking an alligator picks him up and sets him safely back on shore then ask...

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Forest Man

A lowly farmer was farming and minding his own business when a worried neighbour came by to give him a warning.

"There has been a wild Forest Man seen in the forest. He has little beady red eyes, and hair all over. Be careful, he might be dangerous"

The farmer shrugged and continued w...

I'm like Microsoft Edge

Nobody likes me, but I'm edgy

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The king was in the mood of impressing his courtiers.

He said, "I was on my way through the jungle, just enjoying the scenary and the fresh air, but all of a sudden there was a lion blocking our way."

Engrossed, the courtiers were on the edge of their seat.
"I didn't want to kill the beast in front of my little girl, who was with me for the...

A man goes and runs to his boss

He says "i have just invented some new cutting edge technology today!"

His boss says "well, what is it?"

The man takes a peice of bread and cuts off it's edges with a knife he made

A man was sitting

on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big b...

Capitalism is dancing at the edge of the abyss.

Socialism, of course, is one step ahead of them.

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The cat and the chicken...

There was a cat and a chicken standing on the edge of a bridge, the cat falls in the river, and the chicken starts laughing.

Whats is the moral of the storry ?

Where is a wet pussy, there will allways be a happy cock.

The President and his closest allies are involved in a terrible plane crash, and are left clinging to debris in the middle of the stormy sea.

As time passes, their arms grow weaker, and the squall grows stronger, until the waves threaten to swallow them up. Suddenly, an army helicopter appears overhead, and a Soldier on board lowers a rope to pull the President up.

As soon as the head of government is brought in, the Soldier turns ...

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During his physical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level.

He described a typical day this way:


"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.
I avoided standing on a snake....

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.

The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, ...

A person decided to buy a horse from a monk

So, he paid the priced and got very excited to ride it. "Hyah!" he said. But the horse didn’t move. So, he asks the monk,"Why won't the horse go?". The monk replied,"This horse is a religious horse. If you say ' Thank god', it will start moving. If you say ' All the praise be to god', it will stop.<...

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