My son made this up. The Dad Joke is strong with this one...

Son: What does Darth Vader use to get to the bridge of his ship?

Me: No clue, son

Son: An ele-Vader, ha!

To all the people out there suffering from paranoia, keep strong and just remember

you're not alone.

I've developed a craving for strong female characters that I can't seem to knock. That's right...

I'm addicted to heroine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you want to stay strong and it's dark, and you feel blood rushing to your head, and it's getting really hot, and it feels like the world is closing in around you, just remember...

... You're a Penis and this is normal.

After reading the thesaurus I have a strong vocabulary of useless synonyms.

They’re unnecessary, worthless and redundant.

What do you call a strong cow?

Mooscular

After years of hard work in the gym as a personal trainer I finally admitted I wasn’t strong enough and quit.

I just handed in my too weak notice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my doctor if my heart was strong enough for sex.

He said it was ok as long as I didn't join in.

I want to be as strong as Rocky Balboa

So i beat my meat every day

What do you call a ridiculously strong man with no balls?

Absolute eunuch

LPT: Now that it is summer time, avoid swimming in waters that have strong currents, it is very dangerous..

.. you risk getting electrocuted.

I heard that Chinese opium is so strong that it can kill you.

No wonder it's a drug for youth-in-Asia.

Do you wanna know why my tea is so strong?

Because it’s my tea.

(Yes, this is a joke, not something stoopid.)

I was on a date with this girl yesterday who said to me "Your like the strong silent type, I like that" Little does she know

I have autism

I don't think I'm strong enough anymore for my job as a personal trainer

So I guess I'll hand in my too weak notice

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady was on the deck of a cruise ship, when a strong wind blew up

Without thinking, she grabbed her hat with both hands, to stop it blowing away. A steward rushed up to her, saying "madam, the wind has blown your dress up too, and you're not wearing any underwear! Everyone can see your private parts!".

The old lady replied "anything down there is 72 years ...

How come Thanos is so buff and strong?

He's a member of Snap fitness.
Sorry, had to blow the dust off of this joke.

How do 69° and 21° maintain a strong relationship?

They complement each other.

Tall and strong women inspires me.

I can always look up to them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lazy is a very strong word!

I prefer to call it Selective Participation

A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"

"Get married," replies the Rabbi.

"It's that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"

"Not really, but the desire will disappear."

What’s the difference between a folder of an artist work and a diseased strong hold?

One’s a portfolio, and the other’s fort polio

Bank of America says my password is STRONG

but I swear I changed it to p0rtaJ0NjAck0ff!

I have a strong personality

Whenever I want to go drinking I throw a dice, if I don't throw 6 I can't go.
Yesterdaynight I had to throw 8 times before I could go.

They say that a good romance starts with a strong foundation, chemistry and flirting

Whereas a bad romance starts with a RA RA AH AH AH, ROMA ROMA-MA, GAGA OH LA LA

Women are so strong...

they can run their mouth 24/7 and still have energy to cry when you call out their nonsense

A giraffe's neck is so strong a human can climb up it

Also, I'm banned from my local zoo

What kind of punch is strong enough to kill 20 kids and 6 adults at once?

A Sandy Hook

My new hairdryer is so strong.

It is mind-blowing.

The year is 2019 and r/jokes is going strong...

A new user gets on to r/jokes and sees the most upvoted joke just says "21"

The second most upvoted joke says "911"

The third most upvoted joke says "756"

He can't see why they're getting so many upvotes, so he comments "These aren't jokes, they're numbers"

The mods cream...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was given a choice to be born with either a huge penis or a strong memory

I forgot which choice I made

Why is Jesus so strong?

Crossfit

What do you call an incredibly strong STD?

Herpules

(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son)

People in the office always complain about the a/c being too strong

but I'm totally cool with it

- You will have to be strong, sir. The results indicate that you have a very strong case of Roberts’s disease.

- oh, my. is it bad?
- we still don’t know, mr. Roberts.

A World War II Spitfire pilot is speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences. "In 1942, the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, one day, I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared!"

There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle.

"I looked up, and realized that two of the fokkers were directly above me. I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other fokker was right on my tail."

At this point, sever...

Apparently Tesla is producing a new cologne that acts as a strong pheromone,

They're calling it, "Elon's Musk"

What happens when toilet paper grows up big and strong?

It becomes a toiletry.

I bought a fan today, but it wasn’t strong enough.

So I put it on airplane mode.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was offered sex with a beautiful 21 year old girl today...

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds?

A tor*neigh*do

A heartbroken guy walks into his bar and orders a strong drink.

"You theem pretty upthet", the barman says, with a strong lisp, "I'm a good lithener if you wanna talk about it?"

The man swigs his beverage and tells the barman about how his wife has fallen out of love with him. He explains that he's decided to give her some room in hope that the time apar...

Why did the scientist have such strong abs?

Because he kept his Planck’s constant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest is sitting inside the church, when a guy comes in and asks to be confessed.

“Very well, my child,” says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, “Tell me about your sins.”

“Well, Father,” says the guy, “On Monday, I was at my girlfriend’s house, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned, Father.”

“Don’t worry, child,” says the...

Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid?

To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.

I just had this really strong Korean bread.

Tae-kwon-dough

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I smoke some strong weed and beat my meat...

Am I a chronic masturbator?

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?

I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

american vs Russian in strong man competition.

In a world series of strong men, an American and a Russian made it to the finals. In the final they had to go in to 3 different rooms and fulfil 3 tasks

1. Drink 3 bottles of the strongest alcohol and come out on your feet

2. Break and bring back 2 teeth of a Lion

3. Fuck th...

Strong People Don't Put Others Down, They Lift Them Up

...Just like Darth Vader.

At a carnival, a strongman cuts a lemon in half.

He then takes one half and squeezes it as hard as he can. He turns to the crowd and says:
"A hundred dollars for any man or woman who can squeeze a single drop of juice into this glass!"

Several men confidently walk up to the stage, but none of them manage to complete the challenge, desp...

There was an old man who lived by a forest.

As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the...

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

TIL that a controversial study found strong positive correlation between intelligence and physical traits including genital size in men

You thought this was a different sub didn't you

Two German soccer players go to a sperm bank..

The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"

This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previou...

So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong...

Killed 'em both.

"orangejuice" is not a strong enough password

"vodkawithorangejuice" is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whoever was strong and brave enough to kill Hitler must’ve been a true hero!

...Wait a second.

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging...

...that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a whe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl asked me to have sex with her

I was at the shopping mall yesterday and met this 21-year-old girl who was a laundry detergent promoter. She told me she would have sex with me if I advertised her product to all my friends and contacts.
I was sadly amazed and obviously did not accept her offer because I am much older than her an...

My sister told me about a christian motivational group that came to her school. She said they were super strong but didn't lift weights.

So I figured they must do crossfit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An unkempt teenager with his pants hanging half off his bottom walked into the local welfare office to pick up his welfare payment.

He marched up to the counter and said,

"Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job ope...

An apple will wake you up quicker than a strong cup of coffee

If it's thrown hard enough.

My grandmother is pushing ninety. She's so strong, bless her.

It's just annoying that the bus had to break down.

What do you get when you combine an equally strong acid and base?

Net neutrality.

Prehistoric womens had very strong arms

Yea, we have to remember that they had to wash dishes made out of stone

My neighbor. She’s single. She’s shapely & beautiful and she lives right across the street.

I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.

I opened the door, she looked at me and said, ”I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are...

My girlfriend left me because of her strong beliefs...

She strongly believed I had money.

Bush Jr., Obama, and Trump are standing before God...

God begins by asking Bush: "George, in what do you believe?"

Bush: "I believe in free trade and the USA as a strong nation".

God, seemingly impressed: "You may sit to my right".

Then God looks at Obama and asks "Barack, in what do you believe?".

Obama: "I believe in democ...

My father had strong convictions.

I guess that's why he did all that time in prison.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her,...

What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert?

Darude Sandstorm.

Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up.

A lawer, a surgeon, and a janitor are going on a camping trip...

when they discover a magical wizard. He says, "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The lawyer says, "Easy! I'll be a kindergarten teacher! How hard can it be to read to a bunch of little kids?" He gets transported into a classroom. He starts off stron...

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

I'm tired of people talking about how strong ants are.

I can pick up a leaf too, who cares.

If you punch yourself and it hurts, are you too weak or too strong?

Neither, you're too stupid.

My mom always told me I was strong, and a survivor

...of an abortion

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.