What do you call a strong cow?

Mooscular

Do you wanna know why my tea is so strong?

Because it’s my tea.

(Yes, this is a joke, not something stoopid.)

After years of hard work in the gym as a personal trainer I finally admitted I wasn’t strong enough and quit.

I just handed in my too weak notice.

What kind of punch is strong enough to kill 20 kids and 6 adults at once?

A Sandy Hook

I was on a date with this girl yesterday who said to me "Your like the strong silent type, I like that" Little does she know

I have autism

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Marine, an Airforce Commando, a Navy Seal and a Green Beret are sitting around a camp fire, telling stories on how strong and tough they are……

**The Marine** said "I can jump out of a plane at 100 feet, without a parachute, break both legs and still run 10 miles"

**The Airforce Commando** said "I can jump out of a plane at 200 feet, no parachute, break my legs and arms, run for 20 miles and swim 5 miles"

**The Navy Seal** sai...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

On set, Bruce Willis suddenly feel a strong pain coming from his heart.

Without a doubt, the director cuts the scene and Bruce is rushed to the ER. Since the movie studio doesn't want to endanger their movie star they tell the hospital staff to spare no expenses and after multiple tests and scans a doctor walks into the room where Bruce is laying. He tells Bruce he has ...

How come Thanos is so buff and strong?

He's a member of Snap fitness.
Sorry, had to blow the dust off of this joke.

How do 69° and 21° maintain a strong relationship?

They complement each other.

I don't think I'm strong enough anymore for my job as a personal trainer

So I guess I'll hand in my too weak notice

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Warning - Sexist joke: Women like strong muscular men because on a primal level those men make them feel protected.......

From having to pay for anything on their own.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Lazy is a very strong word!

I prefer to call it Selective Participation

I really like strong female protagonists

You could say I'm addicted to heroine

Tall and strong women inspires me.

I can always look up to them.

The year is 2019 and r/jokes is going strong...

A new user gets on to r/jokes and sees the most upvoted joke just says "21"

The second most upvoted joke says "911"

The third most upvoted joke says "756"

He can't see why they're getting so many upvotes, so he comments "These aren't jokes, they're numbers"

The mods cream...

They say that a good romance starts with a strong foundation, chemistry and flirting

Whereas a bad romance starts with a RA RA AH AH AH, ROMA ROMA-MA, GAGA OH LA LA

A giraffe's neck is so strong a human can climb up it

Also, I'm banned from my local zoo

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man was trying to get a number from a Chinese lady with a strong accent

The lady said sex sex sex for free tonight

Her friend overheard this and corrected her saying 6664329

A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"

"Get married," replies the Rabbi.

"It's that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"

"Not really, but the desire will disappear."

My new hairdryer is so strong.

It is mind-blowing.

What’s the difference between a folder of an artist work and a diseased strong hold?

One’s a portfolio, and the other’s fort polio

Women are so strong...

they can run their mouth 24/7 and still have energy to cry when you call out their nonsense

Why is Jesus so strong?

Crossfit

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was given a choice to be born with either a huge penis or a strong memory

I forgot which choice I made

People in the office always complain about the a/c being too strong

but I'm totally cool with it

What happens when toilet paper grows up big and strong?

It becomes a toiletry.

Apparently Tesla is producing a new cologne that acts as a strong pheromone,

They're calling it, "Elon's Musk"

What do you call a bookworm who can't get enough of strong female characters?

A heroine addict!

What do you call an incredibly strong STD?

Herpules

(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When I reached puberty an angel approached me and asked me if I wanted the gift of a strong, lasting memory or a big penis.

To this day, I can't remember which one I chose.

A World War II Spitfire pilot is speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences. "In 1942, the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, one day, I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared!"

There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle.

"I looked up, and realized that two of the fokkers were directly above me. I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other fokker was right on my tail."

At this point, sever...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds?

A tor*neigh*do

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was offered sex with a beautiful 21 year old girl today...

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

Strong People Don't Put Others Down, They Lift Them Up

...Just like Darth Vader.

I bought a fan today, but it wasn’t strong enough.

So I put it on airplane mode.

Why did the scientist have such strong abs?

Because he kept his Planck’s constant

I just had this really strong Korean bread.

Tae-kwon-dough

A heartbroken guy walks into his bar and orders a strong drink.

"You theem pretty upthet", the barman says, with a strong lisp, "I'm a good lithener if you wanna talk about it?"

The man swigs his beverage and tells the barman about how his wife has fallen out of love with him. He explains that he's decided to give her some room in hope that the time apar...

What do you call a very strong, yet adorable dog?

A puggernaut.

Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid?

To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his w...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If I smoke some strong weed and beat my meat...

Am I a chronic masturbator?

Whoever was strong and brave enough to kill Hitler must’ve been a true hero!

...Wait a second.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

...

Two German soccer players go to a sperm bank..

The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"

This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previou...

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

TIL that a controversial study found strong positive correlation between intelligence and physical traits including genital size in men

You thought this was a different sub didn't you

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?

I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.

A married couple was lying in bed when suddenly an intruder enters.

A married couple was lying in bed one night when suddenly an intruder breaks in.

He ties the couple up. He begins to look at the couple. First staring at the husband then staring at the wife. He walks over to the wife, leans his head close to hers, pulls back then walks into the bathroom....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

american vs Russian in strong man competition.

In a world series of strong men, an American and a Russian made it to the finals. In the final they had to go in to 3 different rooms and fulfil 3 tasks

1. Drink 3 bottles of the strongest alcohol and come out on your feet

2. Break and bring back 2 teeth of a Lion

3. Fuck th...

At a carnival, a strongman cuts a lemon in half.

He then takes one half and squeezes it as hard as he can. He turns to the crowd and says:
"A hundred dollars for any man or woman who can squeeze a single drop of juice into this glass!"

Several men confidently walk up to the stage, but none of them manage to complete the challenge, desp...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl asked me to have sex with her

I was at the shopping mall yesterday and met this 21-year-old girl who was a laundry detergent promoter. She told me she would have sex with me if I advertised her product to all my friends and contacts.
I was sadly amazed and obviously did not accept her offer because I am much older than her an...

I have pretty strong opinions about citrus

I find the taste of lemons to be quite sublime

So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong...

Killed 'em both.

My sister told me about a christian motivational group that came to her school. She said they were super strong but didn't lift weights.

So I figured they must do crossfit.

What do you get when you combine an equally strong acid and base?

Net neutrality.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Only fifteen minutes

A group of men live and die for their Saturday morning golf game. One of them transfers to another city and they're lost without him.

A new woman joins their club. When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if...

An apple will wake you up quicker than a strong cup of coffee

If it's thrown hard enough.

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging...

...that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a whe...

"orangejuice" is not a strong enough password

"vodkawithorangejuice" is.

My grandmother is pushing ninety. She's so strong, bless her.

It's just annoying that the bus had to break down.

People in England must be really strong

I knew a British guy that said his necklace was 100 pounds, but he talked about it like it was nothing.

Prehistoric womens had very strong arms

Yea, we have to remember that they had to wash dishes made out of stone

r/jokes in 2065 is still going strong.

A redditor looks at the hot submissions and sees a post entitled "678" with 83 upvotes, a post entitled "975" with 46 upvotes and a post entitled "2142" with 85,000 upvotes.

Intrigued, the redditor makes a post entitled "3428." Eight hours later he notices that the post has gotten 280000 upvo...

My first dad joke.

Nurse: so, this cream is like chapstick for your nipples.

Me: ohhh so nip balm?


Girlfriend: please ignore him.


Dad jokes are coming in strong guys.

Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up.

My father had strong convictions.

I guess that's why he did all that time in prison.

I'm tired of people talking about how strong ants are.

I can pick up a leaf too, who cares.

My girlfriend left me because of her strong beliefs...

She strongly believed I had money.

Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb.

But now they have power tools.

My mom always told me I was strong, and a survivor

...of an abortion

If you punch yourself and it hurts, are you too weak or too strong?

Neither, you're too stupid.

What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert?

Darude Sandstorm.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon men were just so fit and strong and sexy.

No homo

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test ...

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,...

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

I'm glad we finally have a strong leader

I mean Putin has how many years of experience? The states are in good Russian hands.

Why should you wear really strong underwear when visiting the Ukraine?

If you don't, Chernobyl fallout.

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