This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

White people don’t shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.

The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.

There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.

So John and Mike went to the Mosque ...

It’s almost December at the White House, and Donald Trump orders his aides to put up a nativity scene on the lawn...

After working for a few hours to set one up, the aides step back to look at their work.

“It looks pretty good,” says the first one.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure the boss will like it,” says the second.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, look at these three wise men. *Three wise men?* ...

Why don't Native Americans like snow?

It's white and settles on their land

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A white guy gets “Wendy” tattooed on his dick.

It only shows “Wy” when flaccid.

He goes on vacation to Jamaica. In the bathroom peeing, he glances over at a Jamaican guy next to him and sees “Wy” tattooed on his dick too.

He says, What a coincidence! Is your wife named Wendy too?

The Jamaican man notices the guy’s dick tat...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Black guy, a White guy, and an Asian guy are riding in a car.

They get pulled over for speeding and the cop tells them if all together their penises add up to 20 inches, then he will let them go.

So they measure the black guy’s penis and its 10 inches.

Then they measure the white guy’s penis and It’s 9 inches.

They then measure the Asian g...

Why is the French flag blue, white, and red?

In case a war starts, they can tear off the sides and surrender.

Why do Native Americans hate April?

April showers bring may flowers. And may flowers bring white people

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

Before his inauguration, George W. Bush was invited to take a tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of water, he asked President Clinton if he could use the bathroom in the Oval Office. He was astonished to see that the president had a solid gold urinal installed. That night, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.

​

“Just think,” h...

It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom...

... unless they're flashing behind you.

Why do white teenage girls always hang out in groups of 3, 5 or 7?

They just, like, literally can't even

The president was walking out of the White House...

The president was walking out of the White House heading towards his limo when a possible assassin jumps out and aims his gun.

A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts “Mickey Mouse!”
This startled the would be assassin long enough to be captured.

Later the secret service age...

So I dated this white girl once. We're where driving around looking for a place to eat. I asked her have you ever had five guys

She said once but she was really needing the money

What is the difference between organized crime and the Whitehouse?

The Whitehouse isn’t organized.

What do you call a white man with a big d*ck?

Michael Jackson

whats black white and red all over?

a badger in a blender

What’s 7 and a half inches long, white, and tastes funny?

An expired Zero bar.

Guy: "I lost my virginity to Barry White."

Girl: "Me, too! What song was it for you?"

Guy: "Song?"

Two white guys, stranded in a desert, with no food or water see a tall majestic building. The scorching sun sure isn’t making their journey easier.

The first guy recognises this structure and says “Hey Bill, this is a mosque!” - to which Bill replies, “John, you think they’ll be hospitable and give us food and shelter”

“I don’t know Bill, but we’re desperate and we need to find a way to survive”

“I have an idea - Let’s change ou...

What’s white and can’t climb trees?

A fridge.

A rich white man made an offer.

One hot summer day a rich politicians car broke down. An African American family living on the street offered there help. They called a local car fixing company and gave him food and drinks. After a while the politician made an offer:

Politicain: "as a reward for your help ill pay for a cru...

What do you call a party with no white people

Crackalackin'

What’s long, white, and gets longer because of white girls?

The line at a starbucks.

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
...

Why did the white supremacist start a baking company?

Because his family had a long history of being in bread.

It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!

I love you refrigerator!

What's black and white, red all over, and can't turn around in a hallway?

A nun with a spear through her

(Told this to a nun in highschool during class. She threw a blackboard eraser at me but laughed)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A skinny little white guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 15 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little guy faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy s...

A group of people are travelling and see a zebra which is completely white

The buisnessman says: Look! The zebra here are white!

The biologist says: That may not be true, but its an important discovery nonetheless

The statistician says: This zebra is insignificant, only one is known to exist

The mathematician says: Actually we only know that this zebra...

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

What is black and white and flies through space?

A cowmet!

(NSFW) Pee fetishes are pretty black and white.

Either urine or you’re out.

What do you call a group of white guys on a bench?

The NBA

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings

you know she's a keeper.

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.

"The bad news is that the urine is from Putin."

"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this...

A farmer is being interviewed on TV about his prize-winning cows.

The interviewer asks, "So tell us, what are you feeding these cows?"

"The black ones or the white ones?" the farmer replies.

"Uh... the black ones."

"Oh," says the farmer, "I feed them grass."

"Ok then, what about the white ones?"

"I feed them grass, too" the farme...

What is a white knight's favorite dessert?

Marm'lady

The White House reversed its proposed cuts to the Special Olympics.

Now Don Jr. can finally get back to training.

Why aren't there any white jokes?

No one wants to get on the shooter's bad side.

What does the white supremacist pirate say?

Well I’m not gonna repeat it but it ends with a hard Arrrr!

What do you get when you cross a white person and cocaine

A Cocasian

What's black and white and red all over?

A dead interracial couple.

I'm so white

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​

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... my laptop screen dims as I sit in front of it.

Two presidential aides are having coffee in a back room at the White House. “Sometimes I wish we worked for the pope and not the president,” one of them says.

“Why?” asks the second aide.

​

“Because then we’d only have to kiss his ring.”

Having Shark Week is totally racist

because all I hear that week is Great White

What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?

A chalkboard.

Up in the great white north, a man and his best friend, a moose, walk into a bar

As the night goes on, they get drunk, and eventually the moose passes out. The man pays his tab and decides that, since there is no way he can move the moose, he’ll just go home and meet up with his friend tomorrow.

As he's leaving, the barkeep yells out "Hey! You can’t leave that lyin' here....

My doctor found out I had an addiction to white meat sandwiches.

He told me I had stop cold turkey.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The only white man that can say the N word is

An albino black man



First time posting, be gentle...

Three contractors bid on a fence in front of the White House

hree contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in DC:
One is from New York , another is from Tennessee and the third, is from
Florida . All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuri...

A middle-class white woman goes to a beach, pulls out a mug and fills it with sea water.

She takes a large swig and sighs with relief as she gulps. A nearby beach-goer sees this.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm drinking tea," replied the woman.

"Tea?"

"Yes, tea."

"That's not tea!" said the beach-goer.

"I think you'll find that this is the strongest t...

"I'M WHITE WITH BLACK STRIPES!!!!!"

\-a racist zebra

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\~This is a joke from William Montgomery from @KILLTONY\~

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is?

That's bird poop, too

Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White?

Great... Now people will think France has been there

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Everybody knows there are words only black people can say, but what can only white people say?

"Thanks for the warning, officer."

Being white can be hard...

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Two bears are swimming in water, a black bear and a white bear. Which one dissolves?

The white one, because it's polar.

when vanna white dies...

do you think her family will receive a lot of touching letters?

If a stork brings a white baby, and a crow brings a black baby; what brings no baby?

a swallow

What di you call a white pair of binoculars?

Albinoculars.

The cocaine that I bought is so white..

..That the cops just let it go with a warning.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Is George Straight?
Is Marvin Gay?
Is Rebecca Black?
Is Barry White?

Sure makes Stevie Wonder!

I punched a white guy at the gas station last week and got arrested for grievous bodily harm...

Punched a black guy in the shopping center today and got arrested for impersonating a police officer...

The white bear and the penguin tried to make their relationship work, but they couldn't.

They were polar opposites.

Jokes about white sugar are rare.

Jokes about brown sugar? Demerara.

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people looking both ways before they start

Donald Trump wanted to repaint the White House...

Donald Trump wanted to repaint the White House, and received three quotes:

Mexican contractor: 3 million
Italian Contractor: 7 million
Israeli Contractor: 10 million

After a while Trump asked the
Mexican - Why did you ask for 3 million.
The Mexican said:-One million in pain...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How do you know if you’re reading a black or a white Fairy Tale?

White: One upon a time...

Black: Y’all Motherfuckers ain’t gonna believe this...

Why did The White Stripes chose that name?

Because calling themselves Cocaine Lines was too on the nose.

What’s so scary about a white person in prison

You know he did it

This ain’t mine btw I got it from youtube

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay c...

We are making White Russians to celebrate the Mueller report release, but I can’t remember the recipe.

Kahlua-sion or no kahlua-sion?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An elephant picks up a white rabbit

An elephant picks up a white rabbit after taking a dump. It asks the rabbit: “Are you afraid of getting dirty?” The rabbit says no and the elephant wipes his bum with it.

The next day the elephant picks up a squirrel after eating. It asks the squirrel: “Are you afraid of getting dirty?” The s...

What do you call a white man surrounded by a hundred black men?

Coach.

Jesus Christ wasn’t white...

But according to Catholics he’s still a cracker.

What’s white and lies all the time?

A mattress.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did the cannibal take a jar of peanut butter to the White House?

He heard there was a giant cheezy cracker in office.

I hate it when they say white people can't dance...

Like hello we have Micheal Jackson.

How do you know if you are a privileged white straight male?

A feminist will tell you.

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

How can you tell when a white racist has retired?

He taps into his 401kkk

Why is Santa white?

Because that's the only way to convince people to be happy for a guy to come down their chimney while they slept

What do you call an annoying white girl?

A white noise machine

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If Donald Trump had sex with a White House intern

would they call him Bill of rights?

It’s a snowy day and Trump steps out onto the White House grass

Right in front of him, on the White House grass, he sees “Donald Trump sucks!” written in urine across the snow.

​

Donald is pretty annoyed about this so he storms into his security staff’s headquarters, and shouts, “Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn law...

James Bond is on a mission to the white house

007: Q!

Q: Yes sir

007: Do you have the package?

Q: Yes sir! It's armed and ready

007: Good. Now do you have a marker on you

Q: Uhh sure here

007: thanks

*writes on package: From Russia with Love*

007: He'll never suspect a thing

Why do women get married in white?

To match the kitchen appliances.

Whats red and white and sits in a tree?

A sanitary owl

In 1590, John White traveled to Roanoke Island to discover that his entire family, wife and children, had disappeared.

Anyway, just figured out my family vacation plans