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Yellow Jokes

What’s yellow and comes in the morning to brighten every parent’s day?

The school bus.

Why was the snow yellow?

Because Elsa let it go.

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Q: why is semen white and urine yellow?

A: it's so you can tell if you're coming or going.

10 years ago I went camping at yellow stone and my wife got pregnant.

2 years later I went camping at Yellowstone and my wife got pregnant again.

After that when I went camping at Yellowstone I took my wife with me.

Why did Yellow divorce Red?

Because Red Blue Green

What’s yellow and hurts if you get it in you eye?

A bulldozer

A friend told me that all apples were yellow...

I was like, "that's bananas"

What’s yellow and can’t swim

A school bus full of children.

I saw Missy Elliott running a yellow vegetable stand. But I think she was struggling for customers.

She kept yelling "Get your free corn!"

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A scrawny man with a funny-looking yellow dog walks into a bar.

He sits right next to a great big guy with a great big dog and orders a beer. The big guy takes one look at the funny-looking dog and bursts out laughing! The scrawny guy doesn't say anything, so he says "that's the funniest-looking dog I've ever seen!"

"yep, sure is," the scrawny guy admitte...

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What’s yellow and really needs a shit?

Must turd

What's big, yellow and doesn't float?

An excavator.

Didn't think that was funny?
Neither did the driver

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Onestone

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle And whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them!"

The word got arou...

Why did the yellow dragon keep slipping?

Banana for scale.

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Tim is driving to work when a man wearing yellow suddenly flags him down

He slows down, puzzled.

"Just who are you supposed to be?"

The man replies: "I'm a yellow cunt and I'll be on my way if you just give me some food!"

Tim is confused, but being a generally good-natured man, he gives the sandwich he was going to have for lunch, and the man skips a...

What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?

The 'inedible snowman'.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears yellow...

I praise the Sun.

What's yellow and dangerous

Shark infested custard

What’s green and yellow and eats nuts?

gonorrhea

What's yellow, swings through the jungle, and smells of almonds?

Tarzipan

Why did the elephant paint his dong yellow?

To hide in the banana tree...

Whats the loudest noise in the jungle? ...The monkeys eating breakfast

Green,pink and yellow

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Ag...

As a butcher is shooing away a dog from his shop, he sees a $25 bill and a note in his mouth that reads: "10 pork chops, please."

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of 10 pork chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.

He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the bus schedule and sits on the bench when a bus arrives...

What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge?

I don’t know, but at least it isn’t a repost

There is no such color as Ghostly yellow!

It is just a pigment of your imagination!

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A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."

Why did the chicken cross the yellow brick road?

Because he was looking for courage.

It's yellow, and when it gets into your eyes, you die

a schoolbus

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Yellow 24

A man goes to the doctor feeling ill. After checking the man over the doctor looks worried ‘ I don’t know how to break this to you, but you have a terminal disease known as yellow 24. Your blood will turn yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. I suggest you go and spend time with your loved ones...

What did God do when yellow jackets started stinging the other animals?

Plan Bee.

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common?

The phone rings green....green.....green! So you pink it up and say yellow.

What's yellow and hangs from an apple tree?

A stupid banana!

The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the yellow guy lives in the yellow house. Which house does the orange guy live in?

The white house.

Did you hear about the large yellow dog with a drug problem?

Turns out he was a Meth Lab

Why do sheep have yellow teeth?

Because an Apple a day keeps a doctor away

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Yellow Yam

An Old Jamaican man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden , but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

D...

What is a yellow dot commanding soldiers?

A cornonel

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What do you call a delicious yellow lump of shit that swears all the time?

Cuss turd

Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish...

The first nun said with a blush, "This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?"

Saint Peter said, "Your wish i...

What's yellow and you definitely should not drink?

A schoolbus

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An actor rehearsing on stage was going on and on about the colors "No, THIS is where you illuminate the stage with sunflower yellow, and HERE is when you fade to chartreuse!" he said, tapping emphatically on the manuscript. Opening day came, and the actor found himself now fully and completely in

The lemon-limelight

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If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated.

If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much.

What’s yellow and hangs from a tree?

Me if I was yellow and hung from a tree.

What’s green and hangs from a tree?



Leaves you idiot.

What's yellow and sits atop an empty well?

Donald Trump's hair.

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A mother serves a creamy yellow soup to her son and his girlfriend at the dinner tablr

Everyone begins consuming it immediately. The girlfriend, an aspiring theater actress, says to her boyfriend’s mother, “This soup is absolutely delicious! What’s the secret ingredient?”

“Piss,” replied his mother.

Everyone promptly spits out their soup.

“Excuse me?” asks his ...

What time does Sean Connery play the game with two rackets and a yellow ball?

Tenish.

Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow

When she smiles, cars slow down

Do you like white rice? Or brown rice? Or yellow rice?

I love all rice equally. You're just Ricest.

My wife said she's leaving me because I keep making silly puns about her dark yellow oven glove.

However, I wasn't expecting to wake up this morning and find her gone, I mustard mitt.

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow.

"What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

What's purple, orange and yellow and has wheels?

A dolphin. I lied about the colour and the wheels

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If men who like Asians have Yellow Fever what do men who like gigantic breasts have?

Boobonic Plague

My favorite clean joke - the Old Man and the Ferrari

A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at ...

Yellow cars have the highest crash rate

According to a recent pole

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What is yellow and turns red when you push the button?

Duckling in a blender.

A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender ...

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear yellow checked trousers?

Because he's a cunt

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Joe goes to the doctor because his penis has turned yellow.

Upon hearing Joe's description of the problem, the doctor examines Joe and exclaims "Wow you're right. It's bright yellow! I've never seen such a thing. How long has it been yellow?"

Joe says "I only noticed it about two days but I dont know how it happened doc."

The doc says "Well, ha...

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono

What is yellow, has one arm and can't swim?

- an excavator

Do you think that's funny?
Well, the excavator operator doesn't

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So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest....

Kind of pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he was brown or green like the other toads. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.

Any way ... this yellow toad bumps into a Fairy Godmother, like you do, and he begs her; "Fairy Godmother please m...

My dad said there's too much red, yellow and blue in my house.

That's not my primary concern right now.

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