The 69+ Best Yellow Jokes

What’s yellow and comes in the morning to brighten every parent’s day?

The school bus.

Why was the snow yellow?

Because Elsa let it go.

10 years ago I went camping at yellow stone and my wife got pregnant.

2 years later I went camping at Yellowstone and my wife got pregnant again.

After that when I went camping at Yellowstone I took my wife with me.

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Q: why is semen white and urine yellow?

A: it's so you can tell if you're coming or going.

When life hands you High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...make lemonade.

A friend told me that all apples were yellow...

I was like, "that's bananas"

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Tim is driving to work when a man wearing yellow suddenly flags him down

He slows down, puzzled.

"Just who are you supposed to be?"

The man replies: "I'm a yellow cunt and I'll be on my way if you just give me some food!"

Tim is confused, but being a generally good-natured man, he gives the sandwich he was going to have for lunch, and the man skips a...

What’s yellow and hurts if you get it in you eye?

A bulldozer

I saw Missy Elliott running a yellow vegetable stand. But I think she was struggling for customers.

She kept yelling "Get your free corn!"

What’s yellow and can’t swim

A school bus full of children.

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A scrawny man with a funny-looking yellow dog walks into a bar.

He sits right next to a great big guy with a great big dog and orders a beer. The big guy takes one look at the funny-looking dog and bursts out laughing! The scrawny guy doesn't say anything, so he says "that's the funniest-looking dog I've ever seen!"

"yep, sure is," the scrawny guy admitte...

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What’s yellow and really needs a shit?

Must turd

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A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."

What do you call Mario with a yellow mustache?

Pistachio.

Why did Yellow divorce Red?

Because Red Blue Green

Homer Simpson takes his yellow, spiky-haired son to a bar. The bartender pulls up a shotgun and aims it at the boy.

I regret saying this, but the bartender lives up to his name.

What's big, yellow and doesn't float?

An excavator.

Didn't think that was funny?
Neither did the driver

What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?

The 'inedible snowman'.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears yellow...

I praise the Sun.

What's yellow, swings through the jungle, and smells of almonds?

Tarzipan

What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge?

I don’t know, but at least it isn’t a repost

What’s green and yellow and eats nuts?

gonorrhea

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There once lived a strong, Native American man who had only one testicle

Everyone in the village called him "One stone" because of this, but nobody dared to say it to his face because he would kill anyone who directly said it him. Unfortunately, a woman in the village named Bluebird did not know about this. One morning, while she was walking past One Stone, she greeted h...

What did God do when yellow jackets started stinging the other animals?

Plan Bee.

Why did the yellow dragon keep slipping?

Banana for scale.

Don't think that colour doesn't matter. Brown, yellow and black must be eliminated so that only white remains. It's the only way to reach victory.

Said the snooker teacher.

It's yellow, and when it gets into your eyes, you die

a schoolbus

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common?

The phone rings green....green.....green! So you pink it up and say yellow.

The fascist, the coward, and the yellow monkey were what the US call their enemy in WW2...

... now that is what they call their president.

There is no such color as Ghostly yellow!

It is just a pigment of your imagination!

Why did the chicken cross the yellow brick road?

Because he was looking for courage.

What's yellow and dangerous

Shark infested custard

If the green man lives in the green house, the yellow man lives in the Yellow house and the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the white house?

An orange man who doesn't want to leave

If an acquaintance asks if you’d like to join them for the afternoon picking oval, reddish-yellow fruit...

...it’s a date.

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Onestone

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle And whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them!"

The word got arou...

Did you hear about the large yellow dog with a drug problem?

Turns out he was a Meth Lab

A person in a lab coat places a glass half-filled with a yellow liquid in front of 4 people.

Immediately, the first person pipes up, "Ah, I see the glass is half full!" This person is an optimist.

The second person states, "Naw man, why would he bring us a half-full glass? He obviously drank some. It's now half empty." This person is a pessimist.

The third person scoffs, "Why ...

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What do you call a delicious yellow lump of shit that swears all the time?

Cuss turd

What's yellow and hangs from an apple tree?

A stupid banana!

Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish...

The first nun said with a blush, "This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?"

Saint Peter said, "Your wish i...

What's yellow and you definitely should not drink?

A schoolbus

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An actor rehearsing on stage was going on and on about the colors "No, THIS is where you illuminate the stage with sunflower yellow, and HERE is when you fade to chartreuse!" he said, tapping emphatically on the manuscript. Opening day came, and the actor found himself now fully and completely in

The lemon-limelight

Green,pink and yellow

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Ag...

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A mother serves a creamy yellow soup to her son and his girlfriend at the dinner tablr

Everyone begins consuming it immediately. The girlfriend, an aspiring theater actress, says to her boyfriend’s mother, “This soup is absolutely delicious! What’s the secret ingredient?”

“Piss,” replied his mother.

Everyone promptly spits out their soup.

“Excuse me?” asks his ...

What time does Sean Connery play the game with two rackets and a yellow ball?

Tenish.

What’s yellow and hangs from a tree?

Me if I was yellow and hung from a tree.

What’s green and hangs from a tree?

Leaves you idiot.

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If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated.

If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much.

What is a yellow dot commanding soldiers?

A cornonel

A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender ...

Do you like white rice? Or brown rice? Or yellow rice?

I love all rice equally. You're just Ricest.

What's yellow and sits atop an empty well?

Donald Trump's hair.

Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow

When she smiles, cars slow down

What do you call someone who did an ok job at covering themselves in yellow paint?

Medi-ochre.

My wife said she's leaving me because I keep making silly puns about her dark yellow oven glove.

However, I wasn't expecting to wake up this morning and find her gone, I mustard mitt.

What's purple, orange and yellow and has wheels?

A dolphin. I lied about the colour and the wheels

Doctor, what do you recommend me for yellow teeth?

A brown tie

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow.

"What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

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If men who like Asians have Yellow Fever what do men who like gigantic breasts have?

Boobonic Plague

Yellow cars have the highest crash rate

According to a recent pole

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What is yellow and turns red when you push the button?

Duckling in a blender.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear yellow checked trousers?

Because he's a cunt

My favorite clean joke - the Old Man and the Ferrari

A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at ...

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono

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Joe goes to the doctor because his penis has turned yellow.

Upon hearing Joe's description of the problem, the doctor examines Joe and exclaims "Wow you're right. It's bright yellow! I've never seen such a thing. How long has it been yellow?"

Joe says "I only noticed it about two days but I dont know how it happened doc."

The doc says "Well, ha...

what do you call a red and yellow hurricane in the tropics?

a menstrual cyclone!

What's yellow and can be found on the ground?

A yellow string on the ground.
.
What's black and can be found on the ground?
.

It's not a black string you dumbass, it's the shadow of the first strings.

My dad said there's too much red, yellow and blue in my house.

That's not my primary concern right now.

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So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest....

Kind of pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he was brown or green like the other toads. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.

Any way ... this yellow toad bumps into a Fairy Godmother, like you do, and he begs her; "Fairy Godmother please m...

What's yellow inside, black outside, silent, and extremely lethal?

A little ninja chicken.

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