Roses are 6, yellow is a number

I’m having a stroke, call a cucumber

What's yellow and hurts when it falls in your eye?

A bulldozer

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children

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If men who like Asians have Yellow Fever what do men who like gigantic breasts have?

Boobonic Plague

What's yellow and you definitely should not drink?

A schoolbus

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Joe goes to the doctor because his penis has turned yellow.

Upon hearing Joe's description of the problem, the doctor examines Joe and exclaims "Wow you're right. It's bright yellow! I've never seen such a thing. How long has it been yellow?"

Joe says "I only noticed it about two days but I dont know how it happened doc."

The doc says "Well, ha...

When I was a kid, my family used to call that one spot under a bridge "Yellow Submarine".

That was because we all lived there.

The Immigrant

Nadir is an immigrant to the United States and he is trying to do it legally. So far he has passed all the tests. The tester tells him, "You only have to pass one more test and you will be a citizen of the United States. In this test, I will give you three words, and you will have to take those thre...

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?

So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Why is there yellow in the Flag of Belgium?

To slow down the German vehicles a little bit before they reach the white flag.

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Tim is driving to work when a man wearing yellow suddenly flags him down

He slows down, puzzled.

"Just who are you supposed to be?"

The man replies: "I'm a yellow cunt and I'll be on my way if you just give me some food!"

Tim is confused, but being a generally good-natured man, he gives the sandwich he was going to have for lunch, and the man skips a...

What's yellow inside, black outside, silent, and extremely lethal?

A little ninja chicken.

A blue House is made of blue bricks, a pink house is made of pink bricks, a yellow house is made of yellow bricks. What is a green house made of?


If brown cake tastes like chocolate and white cake tastes like vanilla, what does yellow cake taste like?


My wife said she's leaving me because I keep making silly puns about her dark yellow oven glove.

However, I wasn't expecting to wake up this morning and find her gone, I mustard mitt.

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Yellow 24

A man goes to the doctor feeling ill. After checking the man over the doctor looks worried ‘ I don’t know how to break this to you, but you have a terminal disease known as yellow 24. Your blood will turn yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. I suggest you go and spend time with your loved ones...

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One Testicle

There once was a Native American  who had only one testicle
And whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment,

Onestone finally cracked and said,'

If anyone calls me Onestone again I wi...

Why don't soldiers wear yellow and pink?

They'd get too much flak for it.

Do you know why the Reddit Dragon is yellow?

It's got bananas for scales

What does answering a colorful telephone sound like?

Green green.. yellow?

What happened to the frog who parked his car on the yellow lines?

It got toad

what color do you get when you hit a blue man with a yellow hammer?


Yellow cars have the highest crash rate

According to a recent pole

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I was at my buddy's bachelor party, when him and his brother handed me a glass full of yellow, lukewarm liquid. "Drink it!" they said giggling. It was only when I smelt it that I realized the prank the bastards were trying to pull...


I make a living selling dehydrated body fluids, especially blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm.

I'm well renouned for my dry humors.

Came home the other day and my grandpa turned me into a young, slow-witted boy with a yellow shirt.

I was Morty-fied

A man is crossing a busy road

A man is crossing a busy road when he's hit by a red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red Lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry and finally another red lorry.

Later that day a younge police officer knocks on the door of the man's wife to inform h...

My computer decided to replace all my icons to this weird yellow bubble with headphones...

The Audacity...

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Why is piss yellow and jizz white?

So that you know if you are cumming or going.

Why was Hellen Keller’s leg always yellow?

Her dog was blind too.

I heard that some colorblind people see red as yellow..

God only knows why all of these people bought BMWs.

The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident.

He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry

What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge?

I don’t know, but at least it isn’t a repost

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Yellow man, red man, blue man… (dutch joke)

A trucker is driving on the road when suddenly he sees a yellow man, crying on the sidewalk. He stops and goes over to him to ask if he's ok.
The yellow man says: "I'm yellow, I come from the planet Venus, I'm gay, and I'm hungry!" The trucker says: "Well…I can give you a sandwich but I can't hel...

Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow

When she smiled at traffic, it slowed down

What's yellow and feeds on dead beatles?

Yoko Ono

What do you call a black and yellow insect that isn't overly confident in itself?

A humblebee.

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow.

"What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

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Yellow Yam

An Old Jamaican man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden , but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:


Mexico didn't get a single yellow card against Germany in this football match.

Which is fine, since they only care about Green Cards.

What's the difference between a traffic light and a banana?

With a traffic light, green means go, yellow means wait, and red means stop.

But with a banana, green means wait, yellow means go, and red means OH MY GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR BANANA!?!

(courtesy of my 12 yr old)

*EDIT: Ok, so apparently, this is courtesy of my favorite com...

The teacher said to use the colors green, yellow, and pink in a sentence.

The 1st student goes.."i like the colors green, yellow and pink"

the 2nd student goes.."the grass is green, sun is yellow, and my shirt is pink"

the 3rd one, an asian, goes.."my phone went green green so i pinked it up and said 'yellow?'"

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today in the UK the MET office issued a yellow weather warning for impending snow...

... really just taking the piss there aren't they.

A man walks into a post office with a yellow envelope and a dollar

He then posts the letter to an address and leaves
After a week the same man walks in with the same letter and posted it again.
Same thing repeats for months, the man used to come every week.
Out of curiosity one of the workers at the post office asked the man, "why do you come every week an...

Eddie Vedder's LED lamp bulb stops working...

He goes out to buy some replacements, and sees that the colour options available consist of blue and yellow.

After testing both colours of bulb on his lamp, he decides that he likes the yellow LED better.

What is yellow, has one arm and can't swim?

- an excavator

Do you think that's funny?
Well, the excavator operator doesn't

I am not racist

I dont care if you are black, yellow or normal.

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A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."

What happens if you hold two yellow balls?

You'll get the undivided attention of Big Bird!

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What's yellow and goes "cheep cheep"?

A Chinese prostitute

Keep saying yellow and soon enough

It'll sound like you're saying gullible.

There once was a lady who lived in a yellow house...

Everything in the house was yellow, yellow bricks, a yellow walkway, yellow stairs, a yellow door, yellow walls, yellow ceilings, yellow floors, yellow furniture and yellow utensils.

One day, she walked into her yellow house through the yellow door, down the yellow hall and sat down in her y...

Cowards are yellow, Russians are red,

Mix them together, it's Trump's orange head.

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If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated.

If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much.

I was diagnosed as colour blind today.

It came completely out the yellow.

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What is poop with a greenish-yellow hue?


Red called blue. Blue picked up the phone and said "yellow?"

Red replied "you must not have color id"

What do you get when you cross black with white or yellow?

You get to the other side of the road.

What's green and yellow and can't fly?

Brazilian soccer players.

I was about to be given a yellow card for punching another player in the face, but then the ref noticed I was an amputee.

No arm, no foul.

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So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest....

Kind of pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he was brown or green like the other toads. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.

Any way ... this yellow toad bumps into a Fairy Godmother, like you do, and he begs her; "Fairy Godmother please m...

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced: "The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door."

"Good grief, Holmes," said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

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