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Better Half Jokes

I call my wife my "better half"

'Cause she better half dinner on the table when i get home.

-Peggy Hill - King of the Hill

Watching back through and caught this gem along the way.

My better half said period jokes aren't clever

So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While shopping in a huge suburban mall, a man gets separated from his wife...

He starts wandering around looking in each shop, trying to locate her. As he's scanning the crowd he notices another guy who seems as lost as he is.

He asks the guy, "Are you lost, buddy?" The guy says, "Not really, I'm trying to find my wife."

"What a coincidence so am I. Let's swap w...

The lobotomist ran off with my wife...

And I think he took off with my better half.

A Mirror, A Shoe, & A Tire

A mirror, a shoe, and a tire walk into a bar and order some drinks. The bartender asks the shoe, what's causing you to drink on this lovely night? The shoe responds with his tongue hanging out, "well I use to be tied down, but I recently lost my better half, and now I feel like my soul is worn down....

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