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Relation Jokes

What relation is a doorstep to a doormat?

A step-farther.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the man arrested for sexual relations with a sheep?

He's no longer on the lam.

I named my boat Relation. Now I can tell people...

I have a Relationship.

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats

and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"...

What is the relation between a broom and an ak-47

Both can be used to sweep a house

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What is the relation between my height and penis sise?

I wish both were 3 inches longer...

What is the relation between a door mat and a door step

A step-farther

I was having intimate relations with a married woman.

A car pulled into the garage, and the woman said, "Oh no it's my husband! Quick, use the back door!"

Thinking back, I should have run, but you don't get offers like that every day.

My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

As you grow up, you will start to see that people morality is not necessarily connected to their relation with the law.

While the outlaws are bad, the in-laws can be much worse.

I had an important essay on the relation between Occam's razor, Red Herrings and Chekhov's gun...

...my teacher wasn't happy it was late and I just wrote "Will keep this simple, avoid obvious distractions and later it will be done."

Relation between son, father and mother

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually...

Charlie Sheen just received an AA coin in relation to maintaining sobriety for a year

Next to his HIV diagnosis, this may be the second most positive experience of his life.

I have a great relation ship with Jesus

He mows my lawn for $6 an hour

RELATIONS

WHY DONT REDNECKS LIKE THE DOGGIE STYLE POSITION?
TAINT RIGHT TURNING YOUR BACK ON FAMILY

A minister is giving a sermon on marital relations and happiness in marriage.

He states that those who have the happiest marriages have very regular conjugal relations. To prove his point he asks those who have such relations several times a week to stand. As they do he sees a smiling group of people. Then he asks who have conjugal relations several times a month and those...

How do computers form intimate relations?

They insert the floppy into the disc drive.

Three relational databases walk into a NoSql bar. They left after 5 mins....

They couldn't find a table!

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All my past relations ended because of my small penis

But my current wife says it’s no biggie

“We’re rotating on the earths axis at 750 mph and revolving around the Sun at 67,000 mph, moreover we’re moving, in relation to other galaxies, at 490,000 mph...”

“So my question is Your Honour, in the strictest meaning of the word ‘speeding’, are we not all in a sense ‘guilty’ ? “.

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What do you get when you have sexual relations with a fruit-flavored soft drink?

Cool aids

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