Became Jokes - 115 Hilarious Became Jokes

I was in an unfortunate accident and my sperm became electrified

Came as a shock to my girlfriend

The gynecologist who became a mechanic!

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligentl...

My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...

it's like I've never seen herbivore.

Three people became shipwrecked on an island inhabited by cannibals.

They were swiftly captured and told they would be killed, cooked, eaten, and their skin would be used to line the tribe’s canoes, but they would be able to choose how they died.

The first man, a British man, decided he wanted to die by the sword. In an instant, a tribesman cut his head off. ...

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If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Why was Melania so excited when Donald Trump became president

Because she can call herself the first lady instead of the third wife

Ever since I became an archeologist

My career has been in ruins

Let me tell you how I became a millionaire:

First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.

Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.

With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2
dollars each.

Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you m...

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I became a proud dad today...

My son is actually four, but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years.

My dog became a doctor today.

Seven years ago I said “Heel!” and he must have misheard me.

his door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him.

He interviewed three people. The first came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you." "OK, you're hired. Here's your kit; go sell!"

The second came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you." "OK, you're hired! Here's your kit; go sell!"
The third came in and said, "I- i ...

I wish my girlfriend wasn't so obsessed about her breast size. Even a trip to the car dealership became embarrassing.

She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.

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I recently became addicted to viagra..

My wife has been taking it really, really hard.

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Several of Hitlers Generals disappeared after the war, and became animal doctors.

Because they were Veteran Aryans.

Today it became clear to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on the keyboard.

This is why I'll never be ending an email with 'Regards' ever again.

Old Scottish joke I remembered that just became relevant again...

The head greenkeeper of St Andrews golf course was out inspecting the greens one morning when he spotted a golfer bending over the stream on the 18th, scooping up water with his hand and drinking it.

'Haw', he shouted, 'Ye shouldnae drink that watter, it's got coo's pish in it!'

The go...

I recently became very angry as a result of misplacing my memory foam mattress.

I had lost my Tempur.

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Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.

That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me..!"

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge.

"Harde...

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When Italy became a Catholic country, the Pope decreed that all Jews in the Vatican must convert or leave

When they refused, the pope offered them a deal: He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. If the pope won, they would have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people picked their wisest rabbi to represent them in the deba...

What do you call the priest who became an attorney?

Father-in-law

If Caitlyn Jenner became a superhero...

Would she be an ex-man or a trans-former?

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Anyone hear about the transsexual lion that became a vegetarian?

He was a her before.

When covid and the pandemic started, us introverts became hipsters.

We were social distancing before it was cool.

Did you hear about the influencer who became a suicide bomber?

At first he had barely any followers, but then he blew up.

Mike Tyson became a doctor.

I asked to book an appointment.
He said he could punch me in.

Ever since masks became mandatory...

...I only drink *filtered* coffee.

I've recently became a father, so for the past few weeks I thought I'd try my hand at telling dad jokes.

He says I should go home and support my wife.

A Redditor became a chemist and decided to seek his fortune making breath mints.

He made one set of mints that were saturated in caffeine. It made him a significant amount of money but people complained about being a little too agitated by them.

He followed up with a heavily alcoholic variety, which was very well received and made him millions, but which had the unfortuna...

A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom. Thus, the three squires became known as the Lion Squire, the Elephant Squire, and the Hippo Squire.

As the years passed, the Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire became very jealous of the Hippo Squire because they wanted the hippo skin too. So, they hatched a plan to assassinate the Hippo Squire and divide the hippo skin between them equally.

Now the Lion Squire had eight sons, and the Elep...

A man became an avid golfer.

So much so that he'd never gotten to know a female well enough to even think about marriage. As the years went by, he realized he'd probably never get married, since he sure wasn't giving up golf.

As it so happens, he finally did meet a wonderful woman, and in short order they grew very...

My wife recently became a crossing guard at our sons school.

She hates when I ask how the child trafficking is going.

Did you hear about the outlaw who became a dentist?

He robbed his patients at gum-point.

Foolproof: How I became a billionnaire in just 15 days. You can do it too.

When my wife and I got married we only got 0.50$ of combined wealth.

I was wandering around in the fruit market in desperation, that was when I saw an apple for 50 cents. I was so hungry that I spent our 50 cents in a blink of an eye. On one apple.

But then it hit me: What have I done?...

Did you hear about the proctologist who became a mechanic?

For his first test, he disassembled and reassembled an engine.

His teacher gave him 150%: 50% for disassembling it, 50% for reassembling it, and another 50% for doing it through the exhaust.

What did they call the arab dairy farmer who became the chief?

A milk sheikh

Figured I had 6 min for my cake day, and for some reason that was the joke that popped in my head

One Christmas Eve, a man and his wife were shopping in town and became separated...

The woman called him on her cell phone and said, "Where are you?" The guy said, "Remember that little jewelry store we went into last year and you found that diamond necklace that you wanted, but I couldn't afford to buy it for you?" The woman was overcome with emotion and said "Yes, yes ... I remem...

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People say Michael Jackson only became a paedophile when he was white. [NSFW]

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

I'm a new person. I've changed my name and became a vegetarian .

I'm still getting used to it, I wasn't a herb before.

I heard Batman recently became an atheist.

Christian Bail.

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Ol Henry Graber's son, Abraham, became the first Amish software engineer.

He was one of the pioneers of AI voices. But he was let go because they were too hoarse and buggy.

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My friend just asked me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"

I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat the shit out of him; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."

I had to stop drinking gin when I became a vegan.

I'm not a Beefeater.

My son asked me why did i became a geologist

I said thats because Geology Rocks

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic.
Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Young (who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans
about medicine) thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000
so he went to Dr. Geeze...

What did the architect of Villa Savoye say when he died and became a ghost?

Le CorBOO

Ba dum tiss.

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Did you hear about the Nazi soldier who became an animal doctor?

He was a veteran Aryan

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.

She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five ...

I recently became friends with a nymphomaniac

It was a bit weird at first, but lately she started rubbing off on me.

What do you call a guy from Indiana who just became a father?

A Hoosier Daddy.

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When I first became an Ancap.....

>When I first became an Ancap, I was just an unemployed high schooler who had never worked a labor job in his entire life. I had that whole "welfare recipients are parasites, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, forcing people to subsidize your shitty life choices is morally wrong, nobody is...

I became such an expert in how to park a car

I'm now known as Parking

What do you call a man who became fat from eating too much McDonald's?

Big Max

I didn't know that when I became an adult everyone would make FRIENDS references...

No one ever told me life was gonna be this way.

What happened to the Twitter employee, that told Elon Musk not to rename the company?

He became an X employee!

Did you ever hear the one about the foster kid who became a genetic engineer specializing in hybrid beans?

He’s still looking for his biological fava.

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In the future Mexico became the wealthies, most transparent, most peaceful, most progressive, most developed and most prosperous nation in the Americas while the US became a 3th world shithole.

As such many Mexicans decided to move back to Mexico but among them there were also Americans trying to emmigrate. As such the border checks were supposed to make sure that those going in Mexico were Mexicans and not American immigrants.

A man aproaches the border and is asked: "What's yo...

So much has changed since my girlfriend became pregnant.

my name, my address, my phone number.....

After he became deaf, many people told Beethoven that his career as a composer was over.

But did he listen?

I recently became a widower.

...if everything had gone as planned.

Spiderman became a vigilante

Meanwhile, Aunt May became a vigil auntie.

Harry Potter became vegan...

Now he only speaks parsleytongue

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My sister asked for me to bring her something hard to write on

I don't know why she became so mad. It's pretty fucking hard to write on sand.

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After Dennis DeYoung left Styx, he became a professional gambler. He did particularly well at craps...

He was rockin' the pair o' dice!

An old joke from Germany, when Trump jad just became President...

Trump is on Europe tour. He stops by in Germany and visits Mrs. Merkel in the german pariament; the 'Bundestag'.

He sees that everything there is working out just fine, so he asks her: "How do you do that?"
"What?", she asks.
"That everything works out so well?"

"Oh, that's easy....

Choking Lady

Two hillbillies walked into a local restaurant as they had decided to stop by for a bite to eat. While they dined, they talked about their moonshine operation.

All of a sudden, one woman sitting next to them (she had been eating a sandwich just right across their table) begun to cough. After ...

My son just became a father for the first time today…

And in passing on the paternal torch, when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him…they were stored in my dadabase.…

My neighbor and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

Mr. Johnson decided to go yachting one day, when he became lost.

After being out at sea for three days, Mr. Johnson looked up and saw a huge cruise ship sailing towards him. The enormous ship halted next to the yacht.

"Thank goodness you showed up!" shouted Mr. Johnson. "I've been lost for three days."

The captain looked down from the ship and said,...

I became best friends with my artificially intelligent remote control quadcopter named "ROTOR".

He is my **pal** n **drone**.

I asked a homeless man how he became homeless

He said he offered blondes a penny for their thoughts

Did you hear about the bee that became a russian spy?

He always was a cagey bee

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

Too soon for COVID jokes?

COVID is like fashion…

We started hearing about it in Italy…

Became popular in LA and NYC…

Florida ignored it…

And it was all made in China in the end.

I became a crack addict...

When I started going to the chiropractor.

Little drummer Boy grew up and became a father to twin girls:

Anna 1, Anna 2

At a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket was waiting for the bus..

As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little, thin...

I told my gf the world was flat and she became angry with me

I told her she was my world and she got angrier

Why didn't the alcoholic became a comedian?

Because he couldn't stand up.

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Bill Gates woke up in the morning and found that his Mexican housekeepers were gone.

He asked his wife Melinda where they went, who replied that Steve Jobs showed up earlier and offered them the same work at his mansion for double their previous wage.
Bill became furious. "Fucking Jobs, coming here and taking our immigrants!"

I became a chef after I left the army.

Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.

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I recently became a therapist and had a new girl come in today

I could tell she thought I was judgemental the minute I looked at her

So Hulk became a Muslim...

He changes his catchphrase from 'Hulk Smash!' to 'I Slam!'

How I became a successful businessman

When I was just about 21 with my shoes worn through and nothing to wear but the one set of clothes I stood up in, I spent my last nickel on an apple from the barrow in the poor end of town, and I walked up to the rich end of town, polishing the apple as I went, until I found someone to buy it from m...

I became suspicious when...

My calculator stopped working and thought, “this doesn’t add up.”

I went to the guy who wrote the hokey pokeys funeral the other day. It became even more sad when they couldn’t get him in his casket.

They put his left foot in…

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How Bangkok became the capital of Thailand

Long ago there was a king of Thailand, and he unfortunately passed away due to old age. However the people of Thailand saw this as an opportunity to grow and create a capital and have a new young robust leader.

The people decided to go to the surrounding tribes and select a few fit young men ...

A new Vietnamese restaurant opened up, and quickly became very popular.

Every day, customers would line up for hours just to eat at this restaurant. One day, the line was still out the door until closing time. The manager came out and told people that he was cutting off the line. Only people inside could order, and the rest would have to come back tomorrow. Customers we...

My dad works for a company that focuses on the health of the lower 3/4 of the body, and yesterday he just became the CEO.

Now he's the Head of Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!

A knight Became quite lacking in energy after they shut down the Jousting Arena...

In fact he was quite listless.

If Russia became the Soviet Union again

It would be the Soviet Reunion

Why did the blond girl became the Invisible Woman?

Because she has to be dense enough for light to bend around her

I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponges.

We called him Martin Loofah King.

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What did the Japanese person say when they became broke

Not a-yen

Did I tell you about the foot that became a superhero?

What a leg end.

Did you hear about the chicken who became dictator.

It started with a coo.

Frodo Baggins recently became a vegan

He heard someone say that meat is mordor.

My friend suddenly became interested in golf during the pandemic lockdown

He kept saying that he wanted to see the US Open

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After my german friend won the lottery, he became an asshole.

Money changed Hans.

My buddy became a savage after his girlfriend left.

I guess I should have known he'd become Ruth-less.

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What did people call it when Mary became pregnant with Jesus?

A Holy fuck

The Egyptian man became a bone doctor...

They called him a Cairopractor

My girlfriend left me and became a motorcycle enthusiast

I guess she prefers two strokes to one stroke

In his later years Bruce Wayne retired and became a famous poet

Apparently, he went from bat to verse.

Did you hear about the Vietnamese brothers who became table tennis doubles champions?

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

Ever since I became the new produce inspector I've been visiting local grocers and supermarkets; but they're always surprised to see me.

It seems nobody expects the spinach inquisition

My friend just became the World Champion in competitive origami.

He’s great at folding under pressure.

Did you hear the one about the rancher who became a politician?

He was a Cattle-ist for change.

I recently became the owner of a house boat dealership

The sails went through the roof

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

The Pope decides to take a cross-country tour across America, beginning in California and ending in New York.

Somewhere in the Mid-West, the Popemobile breaks down, and while it’s repaired, the Pope continued his journey with a limousine rental.

After a few hours, the limousine driver rolled down the glass partition, and spoke: “I know I’m not supposed to talk to you, your holiness, or highness - I’m...

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits..

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide...

Quitting drinking's been a lot easier ever since I became friends with the Antichrist

Hard to get buzzed someone turns all your wine into water...

Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha's cabinet became sick during his time as Prime Minister in 2003

It was the SARS cabinet.

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A doctor was performing a fecal transplant when he suddenly became blind.

Shocked, he loudly declared: "I can't see shit!"

I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated.

I was better after I evacuated my vowels.

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