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Two pilots with white canes proceed to enter their plane's cockpit...

Two pilots with white canes are on their way to their passenger plane's cockpit. They tap here and there with the stick and enter the cockpit. One of the passengers , a business man , notices and exclaims , " Hey , are those two pilots blind?!" . This arises panic between the passengers. Soon afterw...

If you think a healthy relationship could ever arise out of an arranged wedding...

... then I have a Bridget to sell you.

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What kind of Bees produce milk?

There is no creature for which this is more true than the honey bee. Amazingly, queen bees are genetically exactly identical to worker bees. But they’re fed a different diet from worker bees their whole lives, from the time they are tiny larvae, until the day they die. This different meal plan cause...

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Two Irishmen are lost at sea in a life boat

They're gradually dying of thirst, until one day they spot an ancient bottle bobbing past. They grab it out of the water, open it and a genie arises and say's he'll grant them one wish.

Immediately one of them blurts out, "I wish the entire sea were Guinness!" Instantly whole ocean turns bla...

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Dad, a girl invited me over to her house

"Oh that is great, Billy. But you should be careful, you are young and an STD or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a condom if the situation arises... Actually, no. I don't trust you, son. Put it on right now, because at the heat of the moment you will forget." ...

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The Life Saver

>A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, he starts choking and goes blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts to panic, shouting for help.
>
>An attractive, well-dressed but serious looki...

A man goes into a church

He kneels down and starts praying like he's been doing for many years.

Man: Dear God, I've never asked for much and I've been devoted to you all my life. I'm your humble servant and I have a question.

The church starts trembling, the walls are shaking when a deep voice arises.

G...

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishme

...are debating philosophy. The question arises over the course of their debates: what separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us fro...

Boy walks in on his parents going at it...

Father turns around, smiles, and winks.

Few minutes later, a horrible noise arises from down the hall. Father dismounts, runs down the hall, only to find the boy with Grandmother bent over the bed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" says Father.

Boy smiles, winks, and s...

After 25 years away, a man comes back to his home country for the holidays.

He decides to explore his old neighborhood, and when he reaches the building where he used to live, he notices that the shoemaker's shop across the street has not changed a bit.

All sorts of memories arise to the surface of his mind as he used to pass this shop everyday. And then he remembers...

A scientist & a Buddhist were asked of the nature of existence

The scientist said “modern science is a flashlight illuminating through the darkness of our realities. The more we know the more questions arise. We know nothing, yet we know more now than ever before.”
When the Buddhist was asked the same question on the nature of existence she answered, “Yeah t...

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(nsfw) Once upon a time, a man gets married to a beautiful buxom bombshell.

This woman has an incredibly high sex drive, and he can barely satisfy her at the rate she needs.

He gets ready to go on a business trip and wants to get something to keep her occupied in the meantime, so he goes to a local sex shop.

He asks the guy at the counter "what's the most hig...

A brilliant inventor creates a brand new type of leather.

This leather is such an amazing product, the inventor is convinced he's made his legacy. He starts a company that manufactures clothes made out of this new leather material, and it instantly becomes a massive success. Everybody went crazy for their products, and the company's leather jeans in parti...

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A German taxi driver was on his shift...

He is driving one of these Mercedes models that have the Mercedes emblem as a hood ornament.

A guy waves him down, so he stops and let him enter. It was a tourist, in town on his first trip to Germany. The driver asks: "So, how do you like our country?" The guy answers: "Oh, it's great. B...

Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert

Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al?

Family violence

A 6 year old kid was at the center of a NYC Courtroom earlier this month when he challenged a court ruling over who should have Custody over him. When it was discovered that his parents beat him, he was given custody over to his grandparents. A problem arises when the boy says that his grandparents ...

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Religion is like a penis

Its okay to have one... But problems arise when to you force it down someones throats.

King Arthur must depart to the battlefield.

He requests that the Knights of the Round Table remained within the castle walls in order to protect its citizens should an attack arise. Skeptical of his Queen's loyalty, and the men's self-control, the King asks Merlin to cast a spell on her.

*Should anyone lie with this woman in bed,
th...

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Putin, Merkel and Trump are walking down a beach...

Putin, Merkel and Trump are walking down a beach.

Putin says "Russian submarines are so technically advanced, they can stay a whole year under water without the need to return to the surface."

Trump laughs and returns "Well that's cute, but 'murican submarines are far better and can s...

Shirt Power

My kid goes to school every day wearing a different color shirt and claims that she has the power of the color of the shirt, like red power and blue power. The problem arises when she picks a white shirt to wear.

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Rich Man vs Poor Man's Anniversary Gift to Wife

Two married men - one rich, one poor - are walking down the street having a chat and discover they both have upcoming wedding anniversaries. When the topic of what gift to get their wives arises, the rich man says he's going to buy his wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes. The poor man inquires why...

Enrique Peña Nieto, Malala Yousafzai, and Donald Trump are walking along a beach

It's a bit of an oldie, and I think the last time I heard it, it came off as pretty racist. But I think the current political climate allows me to rehash it better.

Enrique Peña Nieto, who is the Mexican President, is walking along the beach one day with the US President, Donald Trump, and p...

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An Arab needed a heart transplant

, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the calls went out to a number of countries.
Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing t...

Philosophical Q&A

An angel came down for a meeting of the Philosophical Association. Greeting the assembled philosophers, the angel offered to answer a single question for them. Immediately the philosophers set to arguing about what they should ask. So the angel said, “Alright, you figure out what you want to ask. I’...

The Fruit Revolution

So humanity progresses enough in technology to create super genetically modified fruit. These fruit are ten times larger than their natural counterparts and contain fifty times the nutrition. Obviously, this becomes a great success and scientists continue to make and improve the genetically modified...

[NSFW] The Barrel

A man who was down on his luck decided to join a pirate crew. There was always excitement, always rum, and always loot, but as the weeks went by he began to realize that life on a ship at sea away from women was a bit lonely. The first mate seeing his frustration walked over and asked what was wrong...

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Financial burdens

So this couple is going over their budget and notices that this week they aren't going to be able to pay the electric bill this month. The husband turns to the wife to let her know that in order to cover the budget she is going to have to start hooking to pay the mortgage, but not to worry as he wi...

So this US general gets stationed at some lost, forgotten war-zone in the remotest reaches of Afghanistan.

He gets greeted at the door of his new command by the captain of the troops there. The first thing the General spots – and smells – is this beat up, dirty, flea bitten camel lying in squalor near the entrance to the place.

“Good God man!!” he yells at the captain. “Get that god-forsaken an...

Old School Pirate Crime

Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that wil...

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