The 21+ Best Root Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I have beer.

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

A solid 10, but also imaginary.

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81

He said, "no".

what's the square root of 69?

8 something.

What do the square-root of 2 and flat-earthers have in common ?

They're both completely irrational.

Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!"

The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A family is having dinner at the table one evening, when the son asks the father, "Dad, how many different kinds of boobs are there?" The father is a little taken aback, but he ponders for a moment before answering...

"Well, my son, a woman goes through three phases in life. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they become like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. But after 50, her breasts become like onions."

The son is confused and asks, "Onions?"

The fathe...

Some people like root vegetables...

Some people don't really carrot all

This is my only pun about root vegetables

but I keep hoping another one will turnip

If the number 666 is considered evil

..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a fine Monday morning Dave the postman was walking around his usual root, delivering mail.

He saw that at the next house both cars were in the driveway, he’s a bit shocked by this but he sees the homeowner, Greg, walking out with a ton of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles to go into the recycling bin.

Dave looks for a moment and then says “We’ll damn, you guys sure had one hell o...

What do you get when you square root a Muslim?

Radical Islam.

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

Women Are Like Square Roots

If they're under 25, just do them in your head.

Which guy does cheese always root for?

Volone. The cheese is provolone.

New jokes on this sub are often rated at the square root of -100

They would be a 10, but new jokes here are imaginary.

I just joined a gang called square root 2

Because I'm irrational

If anyone can teach me a chord that has a root, a minor third, and a perfect fifth

send me a Dm

How do you know if money is the root of all evil?

Isreal and Palestine have been divided by a bank for decades!

The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...

..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

The square root of -1 walks into a bar.

The bartender looks on, amazed, and says "This is unreal."

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