My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, but also imaginary

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I poured a can of root beer into a square shaped whiskey glass.

I now have a glass of beer.

What’s the square root of Minecraft?

There’s three, actually. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.

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How do you make root beer alcoholic?

Put it in a squared glass.

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did you hear about the buddhist who refused novocain during a root-canal?

he wanted to transcend dental medication.

What's the square root of 69????

8 something.





Havent seen this one and I've been scrolling for hours.

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A man visits his dentist and asks for a tooth removal

A man enters the dentist office and ask the dentist if he could have his tooth removed with no anesthesia used....the dentist answers that this will be very painful and no sane human would tolerate the pain from pulling the tooth out of its roots...

The man replies: "What about this, if I scr...

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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make ...

If people in Bangkok had a favorite NFL team, what team would they root for?

The Thai-tans

If you want to learn how to draw superheroes start with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy

He's just a fancy stick figure

Two square roots of nine go into a bedroom...

Together, they have six.

Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports.

Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.

My teacher is like 5 but square rooted.

So irrational.

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A guy walks into a doctors office

and sits down on the table. The doctor asks him “what’s going on?” The guy says “d-d-doctor, I d-d-don’t know w-w-whats g-g-going on. I c-c-can’t st-st-stop st-st-stuttering!” So the doctor calms him down and says “we’ll need to do a throughout physical examination to see what’s the root cause of th...

I tried experimenting on roots

Trying to grow strong plants to survive in harsh environments. I gave one water, and the other steroids.

A root didn't stand a chance against b root strength

Money is the root of all evil.

To learn more about this, please send a dollar to my PayPal account.

Why are square roots never sad?

Because they're always positive.

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A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

FLOAT

Someone asked me to make a root beer float I kindly asked him to go outside, he agreed and I made the root beer and tied some balloons. I still have no idea why he was mad.

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An Irishman walks into an American restaurant during the era of prohibition

He asks the waiter "give me a glass of stout to see how it compares to Guinness back home."
The waiter replies "I apologize but alcoholic beverages are illegal in this country, might I offer you a glass of water?"

The Irishman, having heard that this restaurant has a speakeasy in the back ...

My friend said “you can’t take the square-root of a negative.”

She said I couldn’t..... but i can

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Doctor Visit

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a diffi...

What do you call a tree drinking alcohol in a pool?

Root beer float

Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!"

The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."

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A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

Why were square roots, cubed roots, and other roots arrested during the Red Scare?

They were all radicals.

What is almost the coolest root vegetable of them all?

Radish

What did the wholesome beet farmer say to his friend?

I am rooting for you!

The square root of -1 walks into a bar.

The bartender looks on, amazed, and says "This is unreal."

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My cousin is a super hairy dude,

We used to nickname him Cousin "It" affectionately.

I remember chatting to him in our freshmen year trying to figure out what our dreams and aspirations were. Cousin It was a weird dude, he didn't really fit in most circles! He was always super quiet and didn't stand out much.
He was hell...

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A preschooler is asked to write the first sentence every member of his family said.

When he got home he saw his mom on the phone. He asked her to say a sentence. But she yelled "Shut up, I'm on the phone!" So he wrote that down.

He then came into the living room and saw his dad watching a soccer game. The team he was rooting for just scored the winning goal, so he shouted "...

Why do hackers grow their plants with hydroponics?

To get root access.

Why are Mathematicians always so happy?

Because the root of their negativity is imaginary

The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...

..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

A boy in egypt collects water at the nile

A crocodile sees this boy and slowly swims to the boy. The boy notices the crocodile to late and tries running away. He trips over a root and falls. The crocodile swallows him trying to devour him completely. As the boy is almost completely within the crocodile with only his head is sticking out, a ...

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A magician with a fear of negative numbers went to see a therapist

She told hin that the root of his fear was imaginary

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