My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

She's a 10 for sure, but completely imaginary.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

My girlfriend is like pi plus the square root of negative one.

Complex, irrational and barely more than a 3.

I put root beer in a square glass

Now I just have beer

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

Why are mathematicians always so happy?

Because the root of their negativity is imaginary.

My friend said “you can’t take the square-root of a negative.”

She said I couldn’t..... but i can

Girls are like square roots

If they’re under 13, do them in your head

Why were square roots, cubed roots, and other roots arrested during the Red Scare?

They were all radicals.

If number 666 is evil,

then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.

Are you the square root of 2?

Because you're an irrational radical.

If money is the root of all evil.

Why do churches ask for it?

What's the square root of 69?

8 something....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused anesthesia for his root canal?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

What is almost the coolest root vegetable of them all?


Proof that dating is evil

Dating requires time and money, so:

Dating = Time × Money

"Time is money", so:

Dating = Money^2

"Money is the root of all evil", so:

Dating = √Evil^2

Dating = Evil

Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!"

The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."

If Groot had kids, and one of them betrayed the guardians

it would be treason.

I came up with this new idea where you split the square root into pieces.

It’s radical!

Let's get to the root of all the positive stuff round here

It's not i.

What’s a dog’s favorite kind of root beer?


The square root of -1 walks into a bar.

The bartender looks on, amazed, and says "This is unreal."

The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...

..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.

The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview.
Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?"

"Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.

*Dang,* the officer thinks...

What is the square root of Pai?

"To access your calculator's premium features like sine, square and square root, and logarithm, please call to have a contractor install the software"

The root cause of the problem

Patient : The problem is obesity runs in our family

Doc: No, the real problem is no one runs in your family

For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"

Sorry, did that not make any sense?

How about -

>"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
>plus three times the square root of four,
>divided by seven,
>plus five times eleven,
>is nine squared and not a bit more."

What did Groot say when he got married?

I am Groom.

If 666 is the mark of the beast...

... and the beast is pure evil wouldn't 25.8069758011278803 technically be the root of all evil?

This flood is devastating. Everything in my kitchen ended up sinking with the exception of a carton of ice cream and some root beer.

They stayed afloat.

Girls are evil...

(Saw this about 10 years ago)

If you have a girlfriend, then you know they cost time and money. Therefore:

Girls = time × money
time = money
Girls = money x money
Which means:
Girls = money^2

Now we all know that money is the root of all evil. So: