I poured my root beer into a square glass

..it became beer.

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

Definetly a 10, but imaginary.

What’s the square root of 69?

Eight something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

did you hear about the buddhist who refused novocain during a root-canal?

he wanted to transcend dental medication.

What's the square root of 69????

8 something.





Havent seen this one and I've been scrolling for hours.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, how many types of boobs are there?

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, suprised, answers "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice and hang...

If people in Bangkok had a favorite NFL team, what team would they root for?

The Thai-tans

My teacher is like 5 but square rooted.

So irrational.

Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports.

Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.

Two square roots of nine go into a bedroom...

Together, they have six.

I tried experimenting on roots

Trying to grow strong plants to survive in harsh environments. I gave one water, and the other steroids.

A root didn't stand a chance against b root strength

How do turn root beer into beer?

.. Put it in a square glass

Money is the root of all evil.

To learn more about this, please send a dollar to my PayPal account.

Why are square roots never sad?

Because they're always positive.

Did you hear about the carrot detective?

He got to the root of every case!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

What did the wholesome beet farmer say to his friend?

I am rooting for you!

My friend said “you can’t take the square-root of a negative.”

She said I couldn’t..... but i can

Why do hackers grow their plants with hydroponics?

To get root access.

A boy in egypt collects water at the nile

A crocodile sees this boy and slowly swims to the boy. The boy notices the crocodile to late and tries running away. He trips over a root and falls. The crocodile swallows him trying to devour him completely. As the boy is almost completely within the crocodile with only his head is sticking out, a ...

Why are Mathematicians always so happy?

Because the root of their negativity is imaginary

What is a tree's favorite drink?

What is a tree's favorite drink?

Barq's Root Beer

Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!"

The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."

Girls are like square roots

If they’re under 13, do them in your head

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A magician with a fear of negative numbers went to see a therapist

She told hin that the root of his fear was imaginary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

Why were square roots, cubed roots, and other roots arrested during the Red Scare?

They were all radicals.

What do you call fractionally raised beer?

Root beer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A passenger aboard a quarantined vessel was experiencing severe tooth pain. Unfortunately the only “doctor” on board was a man with a doctorate in mathematics. But he gave it his best...

...and peformed a primitive root canal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does trees have to go to the dentist?

For Root Canal treatments

No matter how old you are or what team you're rooting for, I think we can all agree that every basketball fan looks up to Shaquille O'Neal.

Like literally, you have to look up to him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mosquito that brings disease...

A village elder is brought a mosquito caught from a swarm. The townsfolks fear it may bring disease. So the elder says - "I will take this mosquito, and I will determine the aspects of the disease that it may bring." The elder rips up the mosquito into pieces. He places each one into a tiny square d...

Today, I had a hard time getting a tree stump out from under the ground...

That was pretty root of it if you ask me

What is almost the coolest root vegetable of them all?

Radish

What’s the difference between an egg and a beetroot ?

You can beat an egg but you can’t beat a root.

The square root of -1 walks into a bar.

The bartender looks on, amazed, and says "This is unreal."

What is the root of all evil?

25.8069758011

A math equation

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divide that by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and nothing else more.

If humans were trees, how deep would the roots be?

Two feet.

The Peanut

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.

As the couple takes in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear.

He tries to get it...

A botanist starts playing minecraft, and he becomes a mathematician

He had to calculate the cubic root

The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...

..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

What’s a dog’s favorite kind of root beer?

Barq’s

4000 YEARS of MEDICINE

2000 BC : Here, eat this root.

1000 AD : That root is heathen! Here, say this prayer.

1865 AD : That prayer is superstition! Here, drink this potion.


1935 AD : That potion is snake oil! Here, swallow this pill.


1975 AD : That pill is ineffective! Here take this a...

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