This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good long one this!

One day an old man got a call from the FBI. The caller told him “We have noticed large amounts of money going in and out of your account, please come see us on Monday” The old man sat there for a second and thought, I should get myself a lawyer. So on Monday he walks to the office and the assistant ...

What do you call a demon clown that is good with small amounts of money?

Pennywise.

There are increasing amounts of obese people each year

I'm not sure if you understand the weight of the situation

My wife wanted shoes for $1000π

But I refuse to spend irrational amounts on clothing

What do clocks eat?

Mostly hour-d'oeuvres, in minute amounts, but they usually take seconds

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent study shows people with trace amounts of Arsenic, Selenium, Astatine, and Erbium have the longest lasting relationships

The best couples always have an AsSeAtEr

A Jewish Man from the Shtetl is trying to get some sleep

while some brisk elders are playing backgammon right beneath his bedroom window.

Lying in bed and anxiously eying the ceiling,
he ponders about how he might just find some of that replenishing sleep.

He goes to his window and desperately looks into the crowds. Then he‘s got the bri...

How will Trump add yuge amounts of manufacturing jobs?

He will build alternative fact-tories

What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common?

They both contain high amounts of trans fats.

School shooting rates in America have dropped by crazy amounts over the past 2 months

The Summertime truly does bring miracles

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