I tell my wife to buy good quality products but she always gets cheap junk.

The only thing in our house that doesn't suck is the vacuum cleaner.

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I thought a high quality sex doll would help with my erectile dysfunction.

But it turns out good plastic is hard to come by.

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When it comes to sex it's all about quality over quantity.

Which is why I never watch the stuff that isn't HD.

A high quality post on a website with active comment section

*Top Comment *
Thank you for the gold stranger

Have you seen the new brooms at Quality Quidditch Supplies?

They're flying off the shelves!

Interviewer asked me to name my most positive quality

Turns out HIV won’t get you a job

Donald Trump's first summit with Kim Jong-un was only to get feedback about the quality of his tweets.

Who better to ask than the Supreme Reader?

What do you call a bad-quality circumcision?

A rip off.

Quality assurance engineer walks into a bar...

He orders 1 beer.
Then he orders 2 beers.
Then he orders 9999999 beers.
Then he orders -1 beer.
Then he orders a dragon.
Then he asks to buy a jdhdjsbeh

Another customer walks in, asks where the bathroom is. The bar collapses and kills everyone inside

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Just tried streaming that new Bohemian Rhapsody movie but the quality was shit...

...I could only see a little silouetto of a man!

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I’ve been getting busy with a new girlfriend recently. I’m very relieved she finds the quality of the sex adequate despite the bend I’ve developed in my penis.

I know because I asked her. She said “Weird flex but okay.”

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What would you say that your best quality is?

I went for an interview yesterday and the guy asked me what I thought was my best quality.

Me: I am very honest in my opinions

Him: well, I think that's very admirable. I'm impressed

Me: I don't give a rats ass what you think

A man is like good quality carpet.

Lay him right the first time, walk all over him for the rest of his life.

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This guy is applying for a job and is asked what he thinks his worst quality is.

He responded, "Being brutally honest."
"Well, I don't think that's a 'worst' quality at all," scoffed the interviewer with a wave of the hand.
"Oh yeah, well I don't really give a fuck what you think!" exclaimed the guy.

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Three unwritten rules to quality shitposting

1.

2.

3.

I think quality is better than quantity...

unless you're a cyclops.

My friend only feeds the highest quality drugs to their animals.

I told them to get off their high horse.

A quality engineer married an average girl...

​After a tough life with her for two years, he ended with his patience​ ​and finally wrote a note to his father in law...​

​Your Product Not Meeting my requirements. .​

​The smart father in law replied..​

​Warranty Expired.... Manufacturer not responsible.​

How do they do quality control at the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory?

They give each doll two test tickles.

For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care.

lul

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Since it’s 4/20, here’s a quality repost

A monkey was in a tree smoking weed...

A lizard, walking by, looked up and saw him. "Yo, Monkey." Said the lizard. "What are you doing up there?"

The monkey looked down and answered him. "I'm smoking weed."

"Can I have some?" Asked the Lizard.

"Yeah, dude. Come on up here...

What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when they see it?

the microwave goes Bing.

What positive quality about someone also tells you something negative about them?

Their HIV test

Low quality paper

Is tearable.

I want a job as a quality controller in a mirror factory.

It’s a job I could really see myself doing.

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Quality, Not Quantity

Quality, Not Quantity

The commanding officer at the Russian military academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S.) gave a lecture on Potential Problems and Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.

An officer stood up and asked, "Wil...

People are often really surprised by the quality of tattoos available in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision.

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I spent some quality time with my 5-year old grandson today watching a movie....

Halfway through he asked, "Is that lady going to die?"

"Probably," I replied, "judging by the size of that horse's cock."

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First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them,

"In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." As an ex...

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, n...

I was confused as to why my interviewer gave me a blank stare when I told her my best quality was my flexibility..

I guess she's never seen a man put both his legs behind his head before.

What do you call a low-quality golf course?

Subpar.

OC from my 13 year old: I heard the quality of the pastries in New Orleans has gone down.

They've been yay before, but not anymore.

What do you call an anti-aircraft gun that shoots high-quality digital audio files?

A .flac gun

I used to be a quality checker at the m&m factory

You would not believe the amount of w's I had to throw out every day

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Woman searching for a husband

A woman goes to the husband store. The store owner tells her each floor has better quality men, but once she leaves a floor she can not return. On the first floor are nice, cute men. "I can do better" she thinks to herself. She goes to the second floor. There she finds nice, cute men with high payin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When it comes to sex, it's all about quality over quantity.

That's why I'm always on top of my wife.

Most of the Alligator shoes sold are of low quality, so I went to the bayou to get my own

28 gators later and none of them are wearing any shoes

What did my friend in North Korea say about the living quality?

I can’t complain!

High Quality Poem

Error 404

Your Haiku could not be found

Try again later

Two employees are having a conversation about quality control

Employee 1: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

Employee 2: Why? Other shampoo companies do it all the time.

Employee 1: Cool. But we make hammers.

My boss showed up to work in a brand new Bentley

I complimented him on the quality of his ride. He said “well son if you work hard and put in those extra hours, in a few years I’ll get another.”

Is Bose really better quality?

Or is it just a stereo type?

High quality ads can be really bad for you.

They can cause ADHD.

Quality control at a Whack-a-Mole factory

...Is either hit or miss

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Most guys use size of their balls to validate their manhood

But for me it’s all about quantity over quality. The third one makes up what the other two lack in size

Yo mama jokes are dumb, overused, and low quality.

Like yo mama.

Want to hear a quality joke about knives?

On second thought, I can't tell it. It's too edgy

It's spring in New England, so I bought a high quality bug zapper to help deal with all those pests, and I woke up to protests outside my house.

# Blackfliesmatter

Quality Control.

Vice Executive: We really should stop testing our products on children?


Senior Executive: If we didn't test our products on these poor kids, how would we truly know if they are fit for purpose, it's just quality control.


Vice Executive: But Sir, we manufacture landmines!.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

What quality was the wine that Jesus made ?

Bloody good.

In a bar, an American, an Italian, a Turkish and an Indian met.

After a few pegs, they started discussing about the great things their respective nations produced.

American: "We are proud of our CIA. They know everything that is going around the world, often even before it happens".

Italian: "We are proud of our women. They are the most beautiful ...

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Blind quality control guy

This blind guy applies for a job as a quality control guy at a lumber mill. The manager asked how he could possibly do the job blind and the blind guy says "just give me a chance!"

The manager agrees and decides to test the blind guy's abilities. He pulls out a good piece of oak, the blind gu...

King Arthur wasn't pleased with the quality of his new table.

The carpenter had cut some corners.

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