This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, and Jane Fonda?

Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas?

The Taliban requires women to wear masks

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the bad guys.
Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,

"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"

What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?

BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and Chickpeas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song and Chickpeas can only Hummus one.

What's the difference between Mariah Carey and Marie Curie?

One glitters, the other glows

How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask?

Ask them who won the election.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme. (Credit to Dorothy Parker.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week, after a one night stand with a woman, she had the gall to get up and use my toothbrush without even asking first. I told her, "That's disgusting!" She replied, "Well, we just had sex, so what's the big difference?"

I answered, "The difference is, I was gonna use the toothbrush again."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your whole day,

Anal sex makes your hole weak.










Edit: added “whole”
Props to a fellow redditor for correction. u/rex-natchez!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW What's the difference between eating pussy and drinking Bud Light?

Pussy only tastes like piss for a few seconds.

My grandfathers favorite joke: what’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

The drug dealer can’t wash the crack and resell it

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Joe Biden and Donald Trump?

Biden actually pulls out after promising to

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with big tits?

One is a crusty bus station,
the other is a busty crustacean

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

What is the difference between a Snow man and a Snow woman?

Snow balls

What’s the difference between juice and cider?

A date can’t end with you in juice.

What is the the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is using a feather... Kinky is using the whole chicken.

What’s the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-qaeda outpost?

I dunno man I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between an American and a computer?

American don't have trouble shooting.

What's the difference between a politician and a crook?

No, seriously, I can't tell.

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to your devices and gathers your personal data, and the other is an industry standard.

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

Whats the difference between the people praying in a church and the people praying in a casino?

The people in the casino mean it.

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant women?

You can unscrew a lightbulb

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?

Where you put the cucumber

What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never drop a bag of cocaine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Disney and PornHub?

Disney teaches you to hate your stepmother.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bird?

A bird can still tweet.

What’s the difference between pie and cake?

π r². Cakes are round.

Happy cake day to me.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter "F".



Edit: *To everyone making jokes in the comments comparing politicians to pigs, please stop.
It's really offensive and disrespectful. Pigs are not all that bad.*

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

Men will take the time to look for a golf ball.

What’s the difference between a Redditor and an egg?

An egg has been laid

What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts?

Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Jesus and vaccines?

One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.

The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil shit bags to control the global population.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Arsenal and a toothpick?

A toothpick has 2 points.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

The difference between being Involved vs. Committed

Take a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese sandwich. The chicken and the cow are involved, but the pig is committed.

What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo Bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's difference between the United States and unprotected sex?

With the US, it doesn't matter if it pulls out or not. You are screwed anyways.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

A woman in church has hope in her soul...

What the difference between Pizza and Musician?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ladies: How can you tell the difference between being hungry and being horny?

# Depends on where you put the cucumber.



My wife can't get over this joke she heard on TicTok. She's told 10 people today. Practically forced me to post in on Reddit.

What's the difference between a cactus and some drivers

The pricks are on the outside

Whats the difference between you and eggs

Eggs get laid



Ps: Sorry if this has been posted before(playing it safe)

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches watches...

What's the difference between a freshwater fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks around in fountains,

What's the difference between a problem, and something that's problematic?

Well the first one you can say for free, the second one takes 50k and a masters in sociology to say.

What's the Difference between pink and purple?

Depends on how hard you grip it.

What's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?

A pessimist says "It can't get any worse!"

An optimist says "Yes it can!"

What's the biggest difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What’s the difference between a really strong weightlifter and a really, really, really strong weightlifter?

Repetitions.

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

What's the difference between alcohol and weed?

Five drunk guys will start a fight. Five stoned guys will start a band.

What's the difference between Dubai and abu dhabi?

Dubai don't like flintstones but abu dhabi do.

What is the difference between a golfer and a akydiver?

The golfer goes *whack* "Damn!"

The skydiver goes "Damn!" *whack*

What’s the difference between a policeman and a bullet?

Atleast when a bullet kills someone. It’s fired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

You can’t jelly you dick in your wife’s ass

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked

What is the difference between a Tornado in Oklahoma and a divorce in Mississippi?

I don’t know but someone is losing a trailer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a oyster shucker with Parkinson's and a prostitute with diarrhea

One of them fits when they shuck

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

What's the difference between an idiot and a moron?

An idiot is someone who drives faster than you... a moron is someone who drives slower.

A major difference between men and women

is if a woman says "Sniff this." it usually smells nice.

What's the difference between Captain Picard, a scared female pig, a loose thread, and the likelihood this joke is terrible?

One likes to make it so, one is an afraid sow, one is a frayed sew, and sorry, but I'm afraid so!

Difference between falling from 1st and 10th floor

1st floor : Thud.....Silence......Shriek

10th floor : Shriek......Thud...Silence

What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law?

Outlaws are wanted.

This was told to me by my girlfriend’s grandma.

What’s the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

Drunk drivers will run a red light.
Stoners will wait for the stop sign to turn green.

What’s the difference between Amazon and prison?

You can sit down in prison

Whats the difference between onions and girls?

I cry when I cut up onions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a pianist and a penis?

A pianist tickles the ivories, a penis tickles the ovaries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Do you know the difference between a dick and a chair?

If not, you'd rather watch out where you sit!

What’s the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss?

They’re the same kiss, but the Aussie one is down under.

What’s the difference between a church and an insane asylum?

A church is where you go to talk to god.

An asylum is where you go if he replies.

What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?

The look on their face when you're nailing them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the panties of today and the panties of the 1970s?

In the 70s, you had to pull down a girl's panties to see her ass. These days, you have to spread her ass to see her panties.

What’s the difference between a tea bag and the French National Team?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer

What's the difference between my horse and my gf ?

Fewer people have riden my horse

What's the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

What’s the difference between my estranged mother and the Challenger Spacecraft?

My mother successfully took off.

What's the Difference Between Redditors and Normal People?

Normal people have friends that tell them jokes.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

Hockey players take thier pads off after three periods.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between Jam and Marmalade?

You can't marmalade your cock up a girls ass.

What's the difference between 'Completed' and 'Finished'?

What's the difference between 'Completed' and 'Finished'?

No dictionary has been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished'. But I am here to set the record straight.

When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete'. If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finishe...

What's the difference between 50th floor and 2nd floor ?

One falls from 2nd Floor - Bang - Aaaaah !

One falls from 15th Floor - Aaaaah ! - Bang

What’s the difference between Bill Cosby and a tiny fencing sword?

One is a little rapier

What's the difference between a cult and a religion?

In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it’s all nonsense.

In a religion that person is dead.

What’s the difference between science and religion? Science flies you to the moon

While Religion Flies You Into Buildings.

What's the difference between Moe and Sideshow Bob?

Ones the bartender, the others the Bart ender.

What’s the difference between the Lost City of Atlantis and New York City?

About 24 hours.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between a Magician and a Stripper?

The magician never reveals his secrets...

What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?

One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache.

What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Donald trump hasn't paid to have a Russian lentil on his face.
[new twist on a joke i read on reddit somewhere[

What is the difference between a wife and a job

A job still sucks after ten years

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a vagina and a fridge?

A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

What's the difference between a point in a distribution whose value is much higher than the rest and Boris Johnson?

One is an outlier to the right, the other is an outright liar.

What is the difference between a secular wedding, an orthodox wedding, and a reform wedding?

At the secular wedding, the bride is pregnant.
At the orthodox wedding, the bride’s mother is pregnant.
At the reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant.

What is the difference between corn on the cob and corn off the cob?

Now that I have your ear- there is no punchline. This has all just been a corny set up.

What is the difference a comma makes?

I like my steak well done
vs.
I like my steak well, done.

Whats the difference between an echidna and a police car?

With a police car all the pricks are on the inside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know the difference between a steak and a penis?

No? Good! I'll buy you dinner.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the other is simply a command.



PS: It's a joke, women are awesome.

Do you know the difference between Toilet paper and the shower curtain?

Answer: No

So you’re the one!!

What's the difference between Taxes and Texas?

Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The difference between anal sex and a microwave...

Is that anal sex will brown your meat without cooking it.




Credit to u/megalultra9 for commenting it on another subreddit.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

Ones a goodyear, ones a great year.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between an attractive woman and a cigarette?

Nothing, I want to get them both lit, and shove their butts in my mouth.

What's the difference between Wonder Woman and Wonder Bread?

One of them gets better when sliced

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between erotic and kinky sex?

A sadist, a masochistic, a murderer, a necrophilic, a zoophilic and a pyromaniac sit in the garden of psychiatry and are terribly bored.

Once the zoophile sounds:
- What if we fucked a cat?

For this, the sadist:
-Yes, let's fuck him and then torture him well.

The mur...

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?

A hooker will quit screwing you when you die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between vegans and my ass

Vegans don't eat meat, while my ass has always some meat inside it

What's the difference between a bra and a ambulance

An ambulance takes care of the wounded while the bra takes care of the fallen

What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

The porcupines pricks are on the outside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Viagra and a placebo?

Never Gonna Get You Up,
Never Gonna Let You Down.

There is a difference between I’m sorry and I apologise...

Don’t believe me?
Try saying “I apologise” at a funeral

What is the difference between a mosquito and a kinky girl?

Well the mosquito stops sucking if you slap it.

What's the difference between a 20 year old hooker and a 70 year old hooker?

One uses Vaseline, the other Poligrip.

What's the difference between a Texas energy company and a Dumpster Fire?

A Dumpster Fire creates affordable light and heat.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.