UPJOKE

### What’s better decimal jokes or integer ones?

Decimal jokes. Integer jokes just don’t have any point.

### An Integer walks to a String and asks for its number

String replies, "Sorry, you're not my type."

### List all odd integers from 1 to 20

1, 3, 5, 7, George Bush, 13, 15, 17, 19.

### When someone tells you that the integers are a more useful set of numbers than the natural numbers, stop talking to them.

You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

It was pointless

### My professor made me write a 30 page essay on differentiates an integer from a decimal...

I said that there's no point

### The set of natural numbers, the set of rational numbers, and the set of integers walk into a bar

Before long, they've had their fill and start causing drunken havoc, disturbing all the patrons. The bartender intends to get to the bottom of this matter. Reasoning that a mathematician would be able to help, he calls Bertrand Russell.

"Hey, I've got three sets in my bar and they're acting p...

### Why can’t integers swim?

Because they can’t float

### Why did the integer stop multiplying with other integers of equal value?

He was Squared Straight.

### I have a fear of numbers which aren't the ratio of two integers.

It's really irrational.

### Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?

I can't even

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### The new priest decides to automatise his church

He hires a programmer to make as many systems as possible, passing most of the grunt work to computers. Donations can be done through PayPal, and credit cards are accepted for paying the tithe. Alexa buys the flowers and candles on schedule while also controlling the lights and the doors. Finally, t...

### Five numbers walk into a bar...

... A Natural number (6), an Integer (-2), a Rational (1/2), a Real (e) and a Complex number (1-i) walk into a bar.

The first four clutch their heads in pain, but 1-i keeps going.

When -2 asks him how he walked through it, he shrugs and replies

"I'm imaginary".

### A computer program required 8 bits of memory

A computer program required 8 bits of memory but the programmer mistakenly allocated space for a 64 bit integer instead

They then tried to rectify the issue by declaring a second 64 bit integer but this didn't have the desired effect

Two longs don't make a byte

### You know what's odd?

Any integer not wholly divisible by 2!

### Berlin's Hottest Nightclub

A hot new nightclub, Integers, opened up in Berlin. The club's
advertising referenced the "infinite" amount of space on the inside, and its excellent location downtown. The walls were sleek and black, with purple house lights and an immaculate sound system. Drinks were all priced at whole dollar...

### Completely Original Joke About Numbers That I'm Sure Has Never Occurred To Anyone

While I've always been able to count on the cardinal numbers, I find that some of the integers can be negative, but at least they're still rational. But as long as a number can be real with me, I don't care how dense they might be.

### The Generic Ethnic Joke

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes ...