I have a fear of numbers which aren't the ratio of two integers.

It's really irrational.

An Integer walks to a String and asks for its number

String replies, "Sorry, you're not my type."

List all odd integers from 1 to 20

1, 3, 5, 7, George Bush, 13, 15, 17, 19.

When someone tells you that the integers are a more useful set of numbers than the natural numbers, stop talking to them.

You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

I tried to explain what integers are

It was pointless

The set of natural numbers, the set of rational numbers, and the set of integers walk into a bar

Before long, they've had their fill and start causing drunken havoc, disturbing all the patrons. The bartender intends to get to the bottom of this matter. Reasoning that a mathematician would be able to help, he calls Bertrand Russell.

"Hey, I've got three sets in my bar and they're acting p...

Why can’t integers swim?

Because they can’t float

Why did the integer stop multiplying with other integers of equal value?

He was Squared Straight.

Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?

I can't even

A professor asks a math student, an engineering student and a medical student what 2+2=...

A professor asked a math student, an engineering student and a medical student, "What is two plus two?"

The math student excitedly states: "That is a solvable problem. The set of integers is a closed system under addition. Two is an integer, so the sum of 2 and 2 must also be an integer. Supp...

Berlin's Hottest Nightclub

A hot new nightclub, Integers, opened up in Berlin. The club's
advertising referenced the "infinite" amount of space on the inside, and its excellent location downtown. The walls were sleek and black, with purple house lights and an immaculate sound system. Drinks were all priced at whole dollar...

Hercules went into the Hydra's lair to slay it.

He cut off its head, and two more grew in its place.

He cut off its two heads, and four more grew in their place.

He cut off its four heads, and eight more grew in their place.

...

He cut off its 1073741824 heads, and the Hydra died of integer overflow.

Completely Original Joke About Numbers That I'm Sure Has Never Occurred To Anyone

While I've always been able to count on the cardinal numbers, I find that some of the integers can be negative, but at least they're still rational. But as long as a number can be real with me, I don't care how dense they might be.

A computer program required 8 bits of memory

A computer program required 8 bits of memory but the programmer mistakenly allocated space for a 64 bit integer instead

They then tried to rectify the issue by declaring a second 64 bit integer but this didn't have the desired effect

Two longs don't make a byte

You know what's odd?

Any integer not wholly divisible by 2!

The Generic Ethnic Joke

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes ...

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