This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Princip...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man isn’t sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A student in a psych class is asking his professor about sexual fetishes.

Student: Do you know the scientific names of most of the sexual fetishes?

Prof: I believe I know just about all of them, I’ve been teaching psychology for over 40 years.

Student: well what do you call a person who is aroused by dead people.

Prof: easy, that’s a necrophiliac....

A blonde woman gets on a plane to Detroit and heads for a seat in first class, despite having an economy ticket...

A short while into the flight an air hostess notices she's in the wrong section of the plane and asks her to return to her allocated seat. The blond simply replied "no". Shocked and confused, the hostess insisted once more that she move, but the blond refused again.

​

The h...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw a hot girl in class today, I kept thinking to myself “don’t get a boner.”

Then she did and my day was ruined.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In class we learned that last names were determined by what your ancestors did

So I always made sure I kept my distance from my teacher Mr Dickinson

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I used to smoke weed and go to the class...

Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.

I was the best teacher ever.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[long] John McClane and Hans Gruber sat next to each other in Spanish class as kids at Nakatomi Plaza Junior High School...

One day the *Profesora* said, "we're going to have a vocab quiz, but we're going to do it as a game, make a competition out of it. I'm going to say a word in English, and you and the person sitting next to you compete to see who can give me the Spanish equivalent faster." She turned to the first pai...

I was making chicken noises in class

Got a detention for using fowl language

What did the Ghost teacher say to her class?

Look at the board, I'll go through it again.

Teacher: class let’s do math.

Teacher: So Bob has 25 candy bars, he eats 10. What does bob have?

Student: 15 CANDY BARS

Teacher: No Bob has diabetes.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Once, a third grade teacher had to teach SexEd to her class.

She had never taught it before and decided to start of by drawing a penis on the whiteboard. She asks the class,” Anyone know what this is?”
A boy raised his hand and exclaimed,” I know what that is! My father has 2!”
The teacher was confused and asked the the child, “ Are you sure?”
The...

One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A class of children return to school after Christmas.

The teacher asks each child in turn to tell her what gifts they received. Little Paul replies "I got a choo-choo" "Now Paul," replies the teacher, " you're in the big school now, we call it a train not a choo-choo"

She turns to Tommy. "what did you get?" "A nee-naw", replies Tommy. "Now Tommy...

One time in English Class our teacher asked us to make a sentence with the word “Dandelion”.

Carl says “The dandelion is beautiful.”
The Jamaican Transfer Student then says “The cheetah is faster DanDeLion.”

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day.

"In English, " he said, "a double negative forms of positive. However in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up,

"...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny is in English class.

The teacher is teaching and then asks Emily to stand up and state a verb and use it in a sentence.

"Walk!" The teacher says very good, use it in a sentence now.

"I always walk to school in the morning!"

She then asks Adam to stand up and use a word in a sentence.

"Teachin...

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word “contagious”. Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- “Susan?”

- “I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!”

- “Very good. What about you, Johnny?”

- “Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it’s gonna take the contagious!”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off.

I said “ son, that’s 3 schools this year... maybe teaching isn’t for you.”

What's the difference between the jokes on r/jokes and a class full of antivax kids?

You won't see the kids again next year.

A skydiving instructor is answering questions for his beginner’s class.

“So if my parachute doesn’t open,” a student asks, “and my reserve chute doesn’t work, how long have I got until I hit the ground?”

The instructor tells the man, “You’ve got the rest of your life.”

A middle-class white woman goes to a beach, pulls out a mug and fills it with sea water.

She takes a large swig and sighs with relief as she gulps. A nearby beach-goer sees this.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm drinking tea," replied the woman.

"Tea?"

"Yes, tea."

"That's not tea!" said the beach-goer.

"I think you'll find that this is the strongest t...

A young boy is struggling in math class, and is close to failing.

His parents have tried everything in the book to support him, but his grades just wont improve. After countless tutors, online courses, and learning support his parents decide that there is only one thing left to do. They enroll him in a strict catholic boarding school, known for its strict and effe...

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worst thing you could say in a sex-ed class?

"can we have a live demonstration?"

"I banged the hottest chick of my class and now the whole town is talking about it."

~ Walter, 52, primary school teacher

A teacher is teaching a class...

...and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

Johnny says, "None."

The teacher asks, "Why?"

Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher say...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pathology professor told this joke after class today. A little long but soooo worth it.

There once was five year old boy who enjoyed playing with his train set. One afternoon, his mother happened to be standing by the door listening to the boy play. She was shocked when she heard him saying,

"All right, all of you son of a bitches who want to get on the train, get on train. And ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher in a 3rd grade class asked her students what their fathers did for a living.

She got all kinds of answers: doctors, engineers, bus drivers. Finally little Billy stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whore house."

"What?!" the teacher exclaimed.

Billy repeated himself, "My dad is a piano player in a whore house."

The teacher was utterly ince...

Little Johnny came to class all beat up...

Teacher: What's wrong?

Johnny: Our house is very small, me, my mum and my dad, all sleep in the same bed. Every night my dad asks if I'm sleeping, I say "No" then he slaps my face & gives me a black eye.

Teacher: tonight when your dad asks, keep dead quiet, don't answer.

The...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher draws a cucumber on a chalkboard in a biology class, and asks the students what it is.

One student raises his hand and says.

“That’s a dick ma’am”

The teacher is horrified and runs to the principals office.

A few minutes later, the principal walks in.

“Alright! Who made the teacher cry? And who the hell drew a dick on the board?!”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A college teacher reminds her class of the next day’s final exam.

“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and ask...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My teacher tried to flirt with me in class today.

It made me really uncomfortable. She kept saying "You look sexy!" and "wanna have a little fun in bed?"

​

It's tough being homeschooled.

A nun asks a class of teenage girls what they want to be when they grow up. An anxious girl stands straight up and proudly exclaims that she wants to be a prostitute.

The nun promptly fainted.

After the other sisters help the nun back to her feet, the nun asks, “What did you say?!?”.

With a bright smile smeared across her face, the girl replied, “When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!”.

The nun breathed an enormous sigh...”OH, THANK GOD! ...

What happend to the plant in maths class?

It grew Square roots

I once had to skip class because I had hypothermia.

I was too cool for school.

Mary sleeps in class

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. She usually slept through the entire class. One day, her teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary.... who created the universe?" When Mary didn't answer, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a...

Today in math class I had to fart. I thought if I dropped my book and farted at the same time, no one would hear it.

I dropped my book and everyone looked at me. Then I farted. Loudly.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] The rooster decided to enroll in a foreign language class down on the farm...

Should I learn to speak horse, or cow, he wondered. Or pig? Finally, he decided he would learn to speak turkey.

When he came home from class, however he was crying. Mama hen asked him, " did something happen at school today?"

"Yes Mama, I had to file a sexual harassment claim against m...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So a group of boys were in a sex Ed class

And by sex ed class I mean a catholic confession box with a priest.

What is the best Donald Trump joke you've heard?

Don’t know if this one is in here yet, but here goes:

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings. The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”. (No, not the punch line yet)

So he a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So, little Johnny has a report due for government class...

He asks his dad to explain government. His dad thinks for a minute, and explains it like this:

I am Congress, your mom is the judicial system, your sister is the unemployed, you are the group too young to vote, and the maid is the working class.

So that night, little Johnny is trying ...

My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm.

She was very flexible.

They told me I couldn’t bring my favourite Disney movie to class yesterday

But I showed them Up.

I'm still tired after my first French self defence class...

I've never run so much in my whole life!

A schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a football fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are football fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,

"Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?

"Because I'm not a football fan, " she replied....

Little Johnny is in class and his teacher is teaching about description. She reaches into a bag and feels around. She says "Sally, what I'm feeling something round and firm, what is it?"

Sally says "a ball" and teacher says "nope it's an orange". The teacher then reaches in and goes " what I'm feeling is smooth and flat and flexible, David, what is it?"David says"a piece of paper?" "No" goes the teacher "a piece of aluminum foil" Johnny stands up, reaches into his pocket and goes" t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A kindergarten class comes back from a trip to the farm.

The teacher asks the kids, "So, what sounds did we hear at the farm today?"

Little Sally: "Moooooo"

Little Billy: "Baaaaaa"

Little Timmy: "Quack, Quack"

Little Johnny: "GET THE FUCK OFF MY TRACTOR, YOU LITTLE CUNT!!!!"

What did the sad math teacher say to his class?

Please
End
My
Depression
And
Suffering...

...well he just said PEMDAS.

In the class, the teacher ask anyone who thinks he's stupid, please stand up

Then, nobody stands up.
The teacher then responds: Im sure there are stupid students over here
Then, a little boy stands up. 
Teacher ask: oh, so you are stupid?
The boy responds: No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny's First Grade teacher asks her class to present something exciting that happened over the summer

and of course, there's the usual stories of going to the beach, taking a trip to the amusement park, etc. Finally, little Johnny's turn comes up, and he walks to the front of the class and draws a single dot on the board. The teacher, confused, asks little Johnny what he's presenting. "It's a period...

My teacher said our class was do dumb not even 80% of us would pass the test

She’s the dumb one, we don’t even have that much people in our class!

My wife regrets telling her class about her new amphibian.

Apparently they axolotl questions.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story that has a moral.

The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said "today I am going to give you a letter and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter."

So the teacher says "A" and Little Johnny immediately raises his hand but the teacher knows he will say asshole so she calls on Little Mary and she says "apple."

"Very good" the teacher replied. "Okay, how about the letter B"

Little Johnny once again immediately raises his hand and s...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I got thrown out of math class today.

The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"

​

Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the expected answer...

While teaching a class a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question.

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you sa...

A teacher decided not to grade the tests her class took, and instead gave everyone an A.

She gave no Fs that day.

A terrorist is teaching a class

He carefully puts on a jacket loaded with explosives and, turning to his pupils, says:

"Now watch carefully, because I'm only going to do this once!"

A boy is sitting in class learning about logarithms

The teacher asks the class, "how do we change bases?"

The boy excitedly raises his hand and says, "ask her nicely"

What do you call a Medical student who finishes last in their class?

Doctor

John, the second least popular kid in our class tried to act over smart...

So, John decides to come up to me one day - out of the blue - and tries to up his status among the class by picking on the one kid that had no friends - again, me.

“So, I saw your father yesterday.”

This was curious. I knew my father was at work, so it was highly unlikely that John wou...

The police are having a math class

On the board it is written 5-7+2=0.

The policemen are very confused so the teacher says "Look, it is very simple. Let me give you an example".

Let's say that there is a bus with 5 people in it. On the next stop 7 people get off the bus. How many people need to get in the bus so the bus...

Two guys are sitting on the bench at fencing class waiting for their turn to spar while watching a couple others practice on the piste

Guy1: You see the guy on the left there? I bet he's got a lot of karma on reddit.

Guy2: Wow! How can you tell?

Guy1: The only thing he knows how to do is riposte.

A student arrives late to class

Teacher asks: Why are you late today?

Student: Someone lost a hundred dollar bill while I was on my way to school.

Teacher: Oh, so you were helping him?

Student: No, I was standing on top of it.

In English class..

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I".

Student: I is the..

Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A yoga instructor ends every class with a mediation, allowing people lay down and relax before slowly filing out for the night. A half hour passes and the instructor is surprised to see one man remain in her studio.

Annoyed, she walks over to him and asks if he plans on leaving anytime soon .
The man takes a deep, meditative breath and calmly replies, “Nah, Imma stay”.

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in graphic design

I have over 300 confirmed designs and don't have a single job...

The teacher called me out in front of the whole class for cheating on the final and took away my A+.

It was degrading.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One of my grandfather's favorite jokes; namely because after he told it to me I told it in front of my speech class in high school and he found that to be the funniest thing he ever heard.

One day a good ole country boy went to work in a general store. Things are fine, but after awhile the owner gets called out on an emergency.

The owner tells the good ole boy, "Whenever someone comes in you get them what they want."

So the owner leaves and a man comes in and tells the ...

A friend of mine started taking baby Ed class where they use bags of flour to represent babies

3 days later he came to class with a cake claiming his baby went through puberty.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher goes into the principals office and tells her that a student of his, Karen, wasn't doing any assignments and sat idle throughout the class.

The principal calls Karen into his office and before he has a chance to speak she says,"Why am i in trouble? I did nothing!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Ms. Dolores is reviewing the alphabet with her third-grade class...

One particular student, Johnny, is a troublemaker. He always looks for an opportunity to disrupt class and shock the teacher, and today is no different.

Ms. Dolores starts off with the letter "A". "OK, class, who knows a word that begins with 'A'?"

Johnny raises his hand before anyone ...

A boy in my class asked a girl out and got a girlfriend.

I asked a girl out in my class and I lost my teacher's license.

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.

Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)

Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.

Student: *raises hand*

Professor: Yes?

Student: 1 Earth

A teacher asks her class “If there’s 14 crows sitting on a fence, and you shoot 2 off, how many crows are left on the fence?”

One little boy says, “None, the sound of the shotgun scared them all away.” The teacher says, “Thats not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you’re thinking!” The little boy then says “I have a question for you. There’s 3 women eating Ice cream cones. 1 Woman is licking, another woman i...

I just got my diploma from my Skydiving class.

I had to repeatedly drop out to graduate.

What do you call the Mental Health class at Hogwarts?

Defence against the Dark Thoughts.

What do they serve for breakfast in Grammer class?

Synonym toast.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher asks the children in her class what they done at the weekend...

"I went out for the day, and rode on the choo choo", said Billy.

"Billy", said the teacher, "we don't use childish and immature language in my class. You rode on a train... Steve?"

"My dad and I went go-karting but I crashed and got a boo boo", said Steve.

"Steve, I just said we...

If i create a Java class public Class Woman{}

Am I objectifying women?

Why did Martha pull her kids out of band class?

Too much Sax and Violins.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Teaching children the word "CONTAGIOUS" in class...

In English class the teacher wrote the word "CONTAGIOUS" on the blackboard and turned to her students.

"I'd like to you tell us all a sentence containing the word "contagious". Several students raised their hands and the teacher asked them to stand up and tell the class their sentence.
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy gets up, moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight...

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Sa...

What did the cheap baseball player say when he found out how expensive first class plane tickets are?

Put me in coach!

What do you call a bunch of upper-class British gentlemen bereft of donkeys?

Assless Chaps.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A student got in trouble during class and was sent to the principal's office for the first time.

The principal says to him, "What's your name, son?"

The student replies: "T-T-T-on-on-on-tony, Sir."

The principal looks up and asks him, "Oh, do you have a stutter?"

The student replies, "No sir, my dad has a stutter. The guy who registered my name was a jerk."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Indian man is sitting in first class on a plane, he presses the call button for a stewardess, but no one goes to his aid for ten minutes. A stewardess finally comes over and the man says to her,

“I have been fingering you for 10 minutes and you haven’t come!”

I dont like class

One might even say...
I'm Classtrophobic

i was laying in a yoga class

I was just laying there, and the instructor says "hey man you gotta get outta here!"

So I said na-ma-ste

A teacher asks one her student to stay after class

A teacher asks one of her students to stay after class.

Teacher: Tom, I know you copied the answers from the student next to you

Tom: Did not

Teacher: Well the student next to you wrote "Yes" and so did you on question one

Tom: So what?

Teacher: And number two he ...

A teacher tells a class that nobody is dumb.

She then says to the class, "Stand up if you think you are dumb."

Everyone remains seated.

"Anyone?"

Finally, One student in the back of the class decides to stand up.

"Johnny! Do you really think you're dumb?"

"No, teacher." He replies, "But I hate to see you st...

"What did you learn in the class about not listening?"

"I don't know. I wasn't paying attention, but I got an A+."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was a debate in my class about the Mexican/US border

Some argued that a wall was needed, and a rather racist friend of mine jokingly said:
"Mexicans are rather dumb, some barbed wire and such would be more than enough to keep those thieves out." After a short pause, he added: "As long as they don't start to steal the border itself".

Unsurpr...

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my f...

Square Enix, Ubisoft, EA and Valve are all in class.

They're all taking a quiz. The teacher tells them that'll have 60 minutes to complete the quiz and that they'll be graded immediately. An hour later, the teacher collects their test sheets and begins grading.

Square Enix answered every question correctly, even the extra credit essay question...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A 1st grade teacher brings his class out for a science field trip to the local park

At the park, one of the kids screams "oh look! There's a big doggy poo poo here!"

The teacher requests that the class gather around and explains

"Look kids, I just taught you about our five senses haven't I?

Don't just rely on one of your senses to observe the world. We have fiv...

We were learning about superlatives in class,

They’re the worst.

A large college class was taking a timed final exam...

As time wound down, the prof counted down, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute... put down your pencils.

As all the other students walk up and lay their tests down on the profs desk, one student in the front row kept writing.

The prof said, " put down your pencil."

The stude...

My son was kicked out of elementary school for getting a handjob from a girl in his class

So i told him: "Son, this is the third time this year, if you don't straighten out, you will lose your teacher license!"

My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.

So I did.

1) Connery

2) Craig

3) Brosnan

4) Dalton

5) Lazenby

She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

I was walking to class and a guy in front of me dropped $10. I ran and picked it up and having. Just got out of bible studies I asked myself “What Would Jesus Do?”

So I turned it into wine... well... I bought some wine.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Today in sex Ed class the teacher used a banana to demonstrate how to put on a condom.

It was disturbing to see a grown man put a banana peel on his dick

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Now that's class!

A woman hears the doorbell, and when she opens the door, the man outside asks her:

-Do you have a vagina?

Scared and ashamed, she slams the door on his face.

The next morning, the doorbell rings, it's the same man that asks her the same question.

Furious, she slams the do...

There's a brunette, red-head, and a blonde in the same Kindergarten class. Who has the biggest rack?

The blonde. She's 19.

Yo mama is so classless...

...she could be a Marxist utopia

My ceramics teacher came into class so drunk he fell into the kiln.

He got fired.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher asks her class to name a word beginning with A

Little Jonny raises his hand and the teacher thinks "I'm not asking Jonny, he will say something like asshole". She asks Suzanna who says "Apple". The She asks for a word beginning with B. Again Jonny raises his hand and the teacher thinks "I'm not asking Jonny, he will say bastard", so she asks Ste...

There's a strange look of satisfaction from alot of dudes coming from that class...

I guess a lot of girls wanted to go down in history.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Jonny was sitting at the rear of his English class

The teacher asked if anyone could give a sentence with the word indefinitely

Jonny sticks his hand high up in the air and says ‘pick me, pick me’ the teacher thinks to herself, he’s a rude little bastard, I’m not picking him and picks Mary

Mary stands up and says ‘My brother is really ...

Teacher asked the class to draw a nativity scene.

When she looked at Johnny's picture, she saw Mary, Joseph, Jesus, and a big fat man. When she inquired about the fat man, Johnny said, "That's round John Virgin."

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th-grade class

a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms."Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.<...

Brought nachos to salsa class

Huge misunderstanding

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

“Son, I heard you got punished for saying the F-word in class. That wasn’t fun, was it?”

“No Dad, it was Fuck.”

A teacher asks her class...

"If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then, Little Johnny says "I have a qu...

A teacher asks a class of 1st graders

"If you're on a date how do you politely say you are going to the restroom?" A little girl says "Please excuse me while I go to the little girls room" the teacher says that's perfect, anyone else? A little boy says "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to shake hands with a dear friend of mine t...

I was voted “Least likely to Suceed” by my high school class.

I hate being a teacher.

Why did Hitler fail literature class?

He was anti-semantic.

Why was Joey late for math class?

He took the rhombus

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher has a class full of rednecks.

She asks someone to use the word 'Timbuktu' in a story.

A scrawny kid in the back raises his hand and recites proudly:

Tim and me, a hikin' we went,
Till we found three whores in a pitch-up tent.
They were three and we were two;
So I buck one and Tim buck two!

Little Johnny is learning math in Mrs. Smith’s 4 grade class...

Mrs Smith asks little Johnny,

“If there are 5 pigeons on a fence and a farmer shoots one, how many are left?”

“None, as the rest would fly away!”

“No little Johnny, there would be 4, but I like the way you think.”

Little Johnny then got peeved so he asked Mrs. Smith,
<...

A teacher is interviewing her class on their daily habits

- Teacher: What do you do all day, James?
- James: Well I wake up, have breakfast and then go to school. After school finishes I head back home, have dinner and hit the sack.

Glad that James has a normal, healthy day, the teacher encourages him to keep it up and moves on to the next studen...

In my Science class we were talking about Kinetic and Potential energy. I said outloud "No wonder my mom calls me Kinetic"

"Because I have no Potential"

A teacher calls her first grade class

from recess. She goes up to little Sally and asked, "Sally, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'sand' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So she spells the word right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Billy. "Billy...