There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Me: "Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus!!"

Judge: "Repeat infractions?"

Me: "Ok, 3/5 of my parking tickets are bogus!"

My math teacher keeps telling me to simplify my fractions

I do it 48/14

My math teacher hates mixed fractions

I'm guessing that's why what she teaches is improper.

What did the evil fraction say?

You will never stop my plans for world denomination.

I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.

Oh well, hindsight is 1.

I recently had a heated debate with a mathematician about fractions

It's fair to say that our opinions were divided

A man goes on a date

Friend: 'How did your date go?'

Man: 'I talked too much about my obsession with simplifying fractions'

Friend: 'That wasn't a very good idea'

Man: 'Yeah, well hindsight is 1'

Five out of four people admit they're bad at fractions.

If you don't get it and wonder where the punchline is, it's you.

Do you know who created fractions?

I think it was Henry the 1/8.

What is the name of the fighting of style for fractions?

Partial Arts.

My math teacher told me that 3/5 of the kids in my class don't understand fractions

Thankfully I'm a part of the other 3/5.

Did you know that in ancient Greece, Hippasus was exiled for discovering that some numbers could not be described with simple whole numbers or fractions?

How irrational.

For some reason, my friend is afraid of fractions.

It's a completely irrational fear.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Having sex is like you're doing fractions

it is improper for the larger one to be on top

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact ...

I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th...

Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.

A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions.

It might be an outdated study though.

The improper fraction help line is now open

24/7

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his.

Turns out that fraction is 2/1

I really hate arguments about fractions.

They're divisive.

People ask me why I chose to teach Maths rather than English. I tell them,

“Fractions speak louder than verbs.”

Dave joins a very exclusive nudist colony.

On his first day, he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and Dave immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, “Sir, did you call for me?”

Dave replies, “No, what do you m...

Say what you will about the old lady that serviced Robert Kraft

But once again, Kraft and the Patriots got quality veteran experience at a fraction of the cost of younger talents.

Two Americans were backpacking in Europe

...when a car pulled up next to them. The driver rolled down his window and asked in german:” Where is the nearest petrol diner?”

The two Americans, not knowing a fraction of German, stared blankly at the driver. “Sorry, but we have no idea what you are saying.”

The driver tried again ...

I would never get a dog from a breeder.

Rescue dogs taste just as good and can be had for a fraction of the price.

So I surveyed some people...

5 out of 4 of them think I'm bad at fractions.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[long] John McClane and Hans Gruber sat next to each other in Spanish class as kids at Nakatomi Plaza Junior High School...

One day the *Profesora* said, "we're going to have a vocab quiz, but we're going to do it as a game, make a competition out of it. I'm going to say a word in English, and you and the person sitting next to you compete to see who can give me the Spanish equivalent faster." She turned to the first pai...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Death is inevitable

The Pacific and Atlantic Oceans start a conversation.

Atlantic: What's up Pacific?

Pacific: I'm not doing too well.

Atlantic: What's the problem.

Pacific: What's the problem? Well I'll tell you what the problem is. Everything is more complicated than you think. You only s...

A Mexican man is found unresponsive...

A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana.
Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What a great gift - a Tazer

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary

submitted this:



Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked

my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for

a little something extra ...

I don't know why the officer fined me the full amount for overspeeding as per the law.

He was saying that he's charging me for that in fraction.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3 men are wandering trough a desert.

3 men are wandering lost and hungry through a desert.
They've all but given up hope to make it out alive when they stumble upon a golden lamp in the sand. One of them picks it up and start rubbing the sand off of it. As the last grain of sand falls off the lamp a magical genie appears and with ...

Three vampires are bragging to each other...

The first says "Watch this." leaves, and is back in an instant, mouth covered in blood. He points at a villager and says "You see that villager? Sucked him dry."

The second, impressed, but not willing to be outdone, leaves and returns just as fast as the first, blood covering her mouth, neck ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Save Money on phone sex lines

...by texting filth to your landline and have the BT woman read it to you at a fraction of the cost.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is on a road trip with his family.

He's driving, his wife is next to him with a severe headache, and his kids are in the backseat being little obnoxious jerks, as kids do. They had to get up early that morning to leave, and as such the kids are tired and cranky, and it was so hard to get everyone ready that he didn't even have time t...

In the 1900s an English town had fallen on really hard times

For decades its primary industry had been its textile mills, but now the mills were all closed and unemployment was at an all-time high.

Desperate, the town's mayor looked frantically around for other industries to bring to his town. He found that there was a man in Germany who waslooking fo...

Did you know...

3/2 of the world's population sucks at fractions?

Tourist mementos.

Artifacts and gifts for tourists are a major portion of an Indian reservation's economy.

Thousands of visitors tour reservations each year and will not leave without purchasing at least one memento of traditional Indian culture.

One enterprising Native American was able to outsell all ...

Pi and -7 walks into a bar

They both ordered drinks.

" I identify as a fraction!" said Pi

"You cannot be a fraction" said -7

"I can identify as a letter if I want, I can be an equal sign if I
want!!! Don't tell me who to be! You are so negative."

-7 sighed, took a sip of his drink and said "you...

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