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Watch Out Jokes

Watch out for that new "Peekaboo" variant the CDC has been warning about...

It's been sending everyone to the ICU.

Watch out for pastrami

It's on the ryes

Watch out for a scam phone call.

The caller says, You have won $1.000.000 dollars

or Tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute Concert.

Just press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watch out for the drill sergeant

A guy came back from the service and met his buddy at the bar.
"So how was it in the service?"
"Not to bad, but in basics they had us jumping out of an airplane and when it was my turn I froze and I could not jump.
The drill sergeant behind me whispered in my ear:
"You jump ...

Watch out for little old lady drivers

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car
over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the f...

Watch out when drinking tea in Russia...

...you never know what they Putin it.

Watch out for the escaped horse!

He's unstable

A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.

Suddenly, a faint moaning is heard from the casket. The casket is opened, and it is found that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.

They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walk...

Somebody once said, "watch out for that ball".

I didn't really understand what he meant, but then it hit me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yall watch out. My lady said there is some weirdo running around the neighborhood.

She said he is offering a bottle of wine if the woman shows him her boobs.

She also says the wine taste terrible.

Watch out for those St. Patrick's Day scammers

Just had a guy try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.

Obviously a sham rock.

What's one thing you need to watch out for during a Jewish hurricane?

The flying de-bris

A man's wife dies young

The funeral is heartbreaking. The poll bearers pick up the casket and are moving through the hallway of the funeral home when the casket hits a corner and opens, the body falling out. Miraculously the woman stands up, alive and well!

40 years later, the wife dies again. The funeral is heartbr...

A lot of women are turning into good drivers.

So, if you're a good driver, watch out for turning women!

Watch out for black ice

I rode a bike over some black ice. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone.

A guy crossing the street is hit by a car and he is hurled to the street.. The driver yells out the window "watch out"!

The man on the street yelled back "why? Are you coming back"?

Watch out for children on the road.

They're terrible drivers.

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, “What are the guys in the big suits doing?”

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old...

A little boy to his father: "Daddy, how did I actually come into the world?" Daddy replies: "Alright my son, at some point we have to to this talking, so watch out:

Daddy got to know mommy in a "chat room." Later, daddy and mommy met in a "cyber cafe" and on the toilet, mommy wanted to do a few "downloads" of daddy's "Joy Stick". When daddy was then ready for the "upload", we suddenly realized that we had no "firewall" installed and it was already too late to p...

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