UPJOKE
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Time Limit Jokes

2 men walk into a bar

One of them shouts out "Everyone, drinks on me tonight." People are happy and they ask him what's the special occasion. He replies, me and my friend solved an extremely difficult puzzle in just 3 months. The people are like, "Damn that sure must have been an extremely hard puzzle." "You bet" says th...

A toothbrush journey in India

Very real story...,,

A Dentist was conducting a global survey-
*"How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"*

Chinese:
"3 months...!"

American:
"1 month...!!"

Indian:
"There is no fixed time limit doctor, it may be years...!!! Initially we use it for *brushing* ...

A blonde mother is cleaning the dishes when suddenly...

Her similarly blonde daughter rushes in. She's rather excited and is holding a box.

"Mom! Mom! I finally finished that super hard puzzle I've been working on for a year!"

Her mother is happy, but puzzled. "Let me see that!" she says as she takes it from her daughters grasp.

Her ...

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Jesus and Satan are having a competition...

... to see who is the better Excel user. God is the judge.

Satan is killing it. He has pivot tables, graphs, macros. Jesus is doing ok - he has a few columns of data, some basic graphs and some formulae.

The time is nearing the 2hour time limit and suddenly the power goes off. Satan is...

Obstetrician career change

An Obstetrician decides that he's sick of his job and opts to become a car mechanic. For the next several months he attends night classes at his local technical college to gain his certification. A few months before the end of the curriculum, the entire class is informed that there will be a final i...

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A turtle and his girlfriend leave the house for a picnic.

They walk for a hour before finding the perfect spot. They begin unpacking their picnic basket and soon realize they have all the food but forgot their dishes and silverware.


"You should go get them," says the girl.

"Are you kidding me? It took us forever to get here. Let's just d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Exam for athletes

The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.

Time Limit: 3 Days.

Write Your Name: ________________________________________
(20 point bonus if spelled correctly).

1. What language is spoken in Germany?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire wi...

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NEW OFFICE POLICY 2013 Dress Code

ALL EMPLOYEES

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manag...

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