UPJOKE
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Swedish government is not allowing the aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov in their territorial waters

The main issues seem to be related to the working conditions of the rowers.

Cincinnati Bengals allowing 2,500 fans into the stadium for the first game.

Word is, now they’re looking for 2,000 volunteers to attend the game.

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, runni...

TIFU by allowing my children to name and bond with a farm animal.

We made Big Miss steaks today.

I was arrested for allowing Gordon Sumner to remove my tonsils.

Turns out The Police were running a Sting operation.

The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store.

But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe rented an apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

Joe smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Poor Joe broke out into a sweat...

Did you hear Delta is no longer allowing road kill in checked bags?

It’s only carrion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper...

An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper are perched in a tower overlooking the city of Nancy in France during World War 2. They have been lying down, silently staring down the scopes of their rifles for what surely felt like weeks at that point, and after a few hours of inactivity, the Greek sniper sud...

Why did the guy who can't spell very well get excited when he read about the new law that was passed allowing increased grain exports from women-owned companies?

Because they were barley legal.

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross...

“Something for this I have.” Yoda says. He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, th...

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