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Talk About Jokes

Girls who talks about girls' problems are great.

But girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta.

Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.

My wife and I had two miscarriages last year, and I believe there should be more jokes about miscarriages so we talk about it more...

The only problem is most of the jokes die before you finish delivering them.

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*The title of the post is true and humor is how I deal with my pain*

Why does nobody ever talk about how tall the average dwarf is?

Because it’s a little mean.

Cardi B’s sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly

They call her ‘Cagey B’

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I had a talk about porn with my girlfriend.

"I don't get porn, why would you watch 2 people have sex?" she asked, then I reply "Two?" she looks surprised and I add "People?"

Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.

Ella wasn’t great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.

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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says: "Kin ya swallar?"The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks: "Kin ya breathe?"The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt...

What do dwarfs talk about on a date?

Nothing much really, they just make small talk

Catholic woman talk about their

The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, and everyone calls him 'Father'."


The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."



The third Catholic woman says, "My...

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My wife's friends were trying to get me to talk about our kinks

Unfortunately for them, I don't piss and tell.

When my friends talk about the 80s they think of boom boxes..i had to stop them.

That's just a stereo type

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Two women talk about their last night sex

Two women talk about their last night sex:

-So, how was your sex yesterday?

-It was crap… My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes, then we fucked for 4 minutes and after two minutes he fell asleep. And how was yours?

-I had a wonderful evening yesterday. My husband cam...

If anyone wants to come and talk about why my stuff keeps getting stolen

The door is always open

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Dad says to son: "Okay, time to talk about sex"

Son: "Dad, I'm 27, what do you want to talk about?"

Dad: "Show me how to watch porn on a phone"

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I bet Ted Cruz has two twitter accounts now. one for porn, and one to talk about the laws he's passing...

Either way a woman's getting fucked

What do jokes that talk about mailmen always have in common?

They always have a good delivery.

An RAF veteran is giving a talk about the war to a class of school children

and was trying to explain what a typical mission would be like.

"So there I was, escorting the bombers to their target, when out of the blue we were attacked by a bunch of Fokkers. There were about 20 of these Fokkers. One took out my buddy, but I managed to shoot the Fokker down. Then one wa...

Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?

"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"

"No- wait, Dracula?"

"Yes!"

"You're vampires?"

"Yes. We have pamphlets."

"Vampires have missionaries?"

"Where else would new vampires come from?"

"I assumed you bit people."

"There are many h...

What one word really makes a woman open up and want to talk about everything on their mind?

"Goodnight."

If you don't know what to talk about on a first date try mentioning Global Warming.

It's a huge icebreaker.

Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you.

What do you think about me?

Two bakers were trying to have a talk about leavened Indian breads...

The topic was a naan-starter.

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"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"What about it exactly?"

"How the hell do you delete the history so mother doesn't find out?"



(translated, sorry if not properly)

Hillary Clinton goes t o a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says
And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks.

I have three questions," he says.

"1st -- whatever happened in Benghazi?

2nd -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of ...

All this talk about hoping 2020 ends!

Even though its cursed, we can't let it defeat us. That would mean 2021.

A lot of people talk about when pigs fly

but swine flu.

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Three men sit down to talk about their wives driving lessons

The first guy says: Since she started driving lessons, she wakes up every night, grabs my junk, moves it back and forth and says “Handbrake up, handbrake down…”

Second guy says: That’s nothing, my wife wakes up every night, grabs my dick, starts moving it around and says “1st gear, 2nd gear, ...

Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t talk about it.

*“For I did not speak of my own Accord”* (John 12:49)

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Talk about ungrateful....

The other day I gave my wife an orgasm....

And she just spat it straight out

How dudes gonna talk about a motherboard

When they don’t even know their daddyboard

Why can’t Mr. Ed talk about why he was arrested?

He was feeling a little horse

An American and Mexican business men talk about getting rich

There is a conference in DC and a Mexican and American guy meet and talk about highway infrastructure projects. The American invites the Mexican to his home. They show up in a Cadillac where the American invites him inside and they go up to the second story balcony. He points below and says, see tha...

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Why do Australians, when they go out to dinner, always talk about chess?

Seriously! They always ask for the checkmate, and it’s starting to piss me off.

What do electricians talk about?







Current events.

Does anyone want to meet up irl and play games together? Or we could just hang out and talk about life

Asking for a friend.

I want to talk about Infinity War spoilers but...

I want to wait for the dust to settle a bit.

If we talk about reading like we talk about drugs....

it would be a whole different story.

I remember my uncle giving me my first talk about the birds & the bees.

He said - "Bees make honey & birds lay eggs.

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Three old men talk about their problems.

The first one says,
I wake up at 7 a.m every morning with a terrible urge to pee. I go to the bathroom and I stand there for two hours and nothing.

The second one says,
I wake up at 6 a.m every morning with a terrible need to defecate. I sit there reading for four hours, and nothing. <...

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife

He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it ...

I hate people who talk about me behind my back...

They discussed me.

Lots of people talk about werewolves...

But noone ever asks whenwolves

Why do women only talk about hypothetical situations?

I don't know, but I if I did I'd tell you all about it.

I talk a lot about women in my jokes, because let's face it –

if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

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