UPJOKE
answerwonderenquireinquiredoubtinterrogativeproblemqueryaskenquiryinterrogateinterrogationinquiryoppugnsubject

Question Jokes

In Ireland there is a tradition that holds that a dying man may ask one last question, and that it be answered truthfully.

Seamus had come to the end of his days; his time on this planet was short. Gathered around him was his wife and his four sons. Three of his sons were fine, tall men but the fourth...wasn't. Aiden was a bit scrawny, and quite thin. Seamus says to his wife:

"Mary...I've not much time left. So I...

A company owner was asked a question,

How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

An easy question to Albert Einstein!

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:


"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"


The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife, to our therapist: He always misunderstands simple questions.

Therapist, to me: What does she mean?

Me: It’s a feminine pronoun,

A teacher asks her students a simple math question…

“There are 3 birds on a wire, one gets shot, how many are left?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, “there are none left, once the one bird was shot the other two flew away ”

Teacher tells Johnny he is wrong, but she likes the way he thinks.

Johnny then inquired, “may I ask you a qu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interview Question

Interviewer: What's your worst personal quality?
Me: Honesty.
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a bad quality.
Me: I don't give a fuck what you think.

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window. 

For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"

The p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Dickson had a habit of asking daft questions to his pupils.

One day, he asked his 4th graders if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.



Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.



Kids came back the next day. No one knew the answer.



"Look," said Mr. Dickson...

I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions

1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Condom question

A girl is talking to her guy friend: "I found condoms in my boyfriend's jacket. We don't use condoms and when I confronted him, he told me he uses them to masturbate. Do you ever do that??"

"Sure", her guy friend replies.

"Really?? You masturbate into condoms??!"

"Oh", he respon...

Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions

Like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"

A boy asks his dad a question

A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"

The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."

A chemistry professor posted a bonus question to an exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you're questioning your sexuality...

You probably aren't thinking straight.

Just an innocent question

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Brad Pitt's is short, Madonna does not have one, and the Pope doesn't use it.

What is it?

>!A last name.!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting for a job interview when the question is asked by the interviewer,

“What is your biggest weakness?”


The job candidate thinks for a moment and answers “honesty. Honesty is my biggest weakeness.”


The potential employer replies “I don’t think honesty is a weakness!”


The man replies “I really don’t give a fuck what you think!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My coworker came up to me yesterday and said he had a question for me

He asked, “Imagine you walk into a room with 50 naked dudes. How many of their penises would you choke on?”

“What the hell?” I reply “None of them!”

“Oh so you’re a professional?”

Quick question

How much no more tears shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?

What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect?

"What were you doing the night between November and May?"

I lost the bar trivia contest last night by one point. The last question was, "Where do women have the curliest hair?"

Apparently the correct answer is, Fiji.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother a question

"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. ...

Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

*Boy throws bag at teacher* Teacher: "Who threw that!?" Boy: "Me! I'm going home!

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

**An African student:** What's food?

**A European student:** What's scarcity?

**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?

**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had questionable intercourse in an English County once

It was Sussex.

The punchline comes before the question.

What's the worst part about time travelling jokes?

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question: "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said "I think it's your hands.” "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.” “What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and...

Adam goes up do God to ask him a question

"God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"

"So that you could love her, my child" came the simple reply.

Adam is happy with the answer, and asks another question: "But why did you make her so dumb?"

"So that she could love you."

Questions

At the skydiving training course, the instructor would take time to answer some of the First Timer Questions.One guy asked: If our chute doesn't open.....and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground? The instructor looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: The rest ...

Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2?

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition...

Yuri Gagarin returned from space and Khrushchev asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"

Yuri replied: "Yes."

"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."

Gagarin traveled to Rome and met the Pope, who asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"

Yuri replied: "No."

"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the moment of the accident, 'I'm fine.'" asked the lawyer?

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I did not ask you for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessi...

A boy has a question about God

Sorry if this has been posted before. I just heard it and I’ve never seen it on here before.

There was a boy that had a question about God. He goes to his local priest to see if he has an answer. The boy presents the question and the priest is completely at a loss of words. The question is s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The headmistress at my exclusive girl’s college was lecturing us on Sexual morality...... “In moments of temptation,” she said to the class, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”

She got so furious when I got up and asked “How do you make it last an hour?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Priests Question

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. D...

TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."

Now we wait.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied.

Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointi...

A couple is going through a divorce and custody of the son comes into question.

The father presents evidence that the wife hits the poor boy whenever he misbehaves the slightest. The mother reveals evidence that the father would get belligerently drunk and use his belt on the boy.

The Judge suggests letting the boy live with his grandfather, but it turns out that almost ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The US, England and Ireland are presented with a question. Why is the head of the penis larger than the shaft?

The US funds a study for 6 months at $20 million, and concludes it is to give the man more pleasure during sex.

The British, not to be outdone by the Yankees, spend 3 months and half the money, and concludes it's to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

The Irish, not to be outdone ...

An Australian guy is going around asking people trivia questions on the street...

The Australian guy approaches a random man and says, "You there! If you can name one Scandanavian country right now, I'll give you $100."

The man says, "Norway!"

The Australian says, "Yes way! Any one of them."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the question

A human physiology lecturer notices that he is losing the attention of his class, so, to try to wake them up, he singles out a woman in the front row. He asks her, “Do you know what your asshole is doing when you’re having an orgasm?”

She responds, “He’s usually out playing golf wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked this nice girl a question the other day.

She was pretty, young, blond, had big tits and gave me a pleasant smile. I asked her if six inches satisfies? She grimaced and pondered, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if balancing the question and finally replied "no not really".

So I ordered the seven inch pizza instead.

Don’t you hate it when people ask you a question just so they can answer it themselves?

Because I do

A Sunday school teacher posed a question to her class, "If I were to sell my house, car, donate my possessions to charity, and give all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"

The children unanimously replied, "No."

The teacher then asked, "If I were to keep the church clean, mow the lawn, and keep everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

Once again, the answer was a resounding "No."

Apparently perplexed, the teacher asked, "Well, then how ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question. Is it for fuck's sake, or for fuck sake?

Like, should I put an apostrophe to show possessive? I guess the question would be, is it for the sake of all fucks, or just this fuck in particular?

Idk, so let me know because I'm at work trying to send an email, and I wanted to sound professional.

The question was never whether Trump would be indicted....

But is he competent enough to be tried as an adult?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Question for the legendary Radio Yerevan

A joke that is popular in the region I grew up:

In 1983, when the USSR still was together, a listener of radio station "Radio Yerevan" wrote a letter:

"Is it true that comrade Chekov of Omsk has won a Lake Balaton holiday in the lottery?"

Answer from Radio Yerevan:

Princi...

A little boy runs up to his father with a question.

"Daddy, daddy!" says the boy, excitedly. "Did you get shot in the army?"

The father looks away and grimaces. The pain is etched clearly on this face. He gets a faraway look in his eye, and a tear rolls down his face, as he says, "No, son..."

"...but I did get shot in the leggy."

Questionable Morals

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic
garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in
awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20
bills falling Out of ...

Super Serious Tax Question

How long do leftovers have to be in your fridge before you can claim them as dependants?

I hate when you're over someone's house and they start asking you stupid questions.

Like "who are you" and "is that a gun?"

My 9 year old son has started asking awkward questions about the human body...

I suppose the freezer wasn't the best place to hide it.

I have a question for short people.

What are your future goals and how are you able to reach them?

While teaching a class a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question.

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you sa...

Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!!

Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

pharmacy question...

Went into the pharmacy today and sheepishly asked the attractive lady behind the counter if they do Viagra.
"We do" she replied.
I questioned "Can I get it over the counter?"
She said "Depends how many you take".

I have this question every time driving on the highway

Why do people put a mountain on every tunnel?

A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.

Just this morning she said "is that the best you can do?".

If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions.

That is all.

A question about getting circumcised...

Is it customary to leave a tip?

Question for Radio Eriwan:

Question for Radio Eriwan: Is it correct that comrade Wassiljewitsch was arrested and sentenced to 35y of prison for calling comrade Stalin an idiot on the last party congress?

Answer:
Basically yes. He was immediately arrested and sentenced. And he was sentenced to 35y but not for insulti...

A true work question

I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"

He answered, "I don't know."

I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."

An elementary school teacher is asking a student a Maths question

Teacher: "Ok, Jimmy. If I gave you two cats and another two cats, how many cats would you have?"

Jimmy: "Five!"

Teacher: "No, Jimmy. Let me ask you another way. If I give you two apples and I give you another two apples, how many apples would you have?"

Jimmy: "Four!"

Tea...

A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day. The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair. They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.

The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.

They then grabbed the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

A lawyer, Jones, is questioning his witness, Smith, during a murder trial.

Jones: Mr Smith, can you tell us what the deceased said before he died?

Smith: Yes, I can. He said...

Judge: Now hold on a minute. I'm not sure if it could be considered hearsay if I allowed Mr Smith to continue.



This led to a long argument between both lawyers and the j...

Genuine witness responses from a coroner to an attorney’s questions during trial

Q: “Did you check for a pulse before you performed the autopsy?”

A: No."

Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

A: "No."

Q: "Did you check for breathing?"

A: "No."

Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

A: ...

A joke from my dad: A man goes to a lawyer to ask a few legal questions...

The man says to the lawyer "How much would it cost to ask you a few questions?"

The lawyer says "I charge $400 for three questions."

"That's a bit expensive isn't it?"

"Yep. What's your third question?"

A teacher asks a “dumb” student a question…

“If I give you 5 apples and take 3, what will you have?” “Trust issues”

My kindergarten daughter asked me a question,

so I answered her back In confidence with the correct answer. She asked me “how I knew that”, so I answered her that “I knew everything.” This infuriated my daughter and she told me there were people out there that knew more than me. I was shocked and told her “I didn’t know anyone smarter than m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ok, serious question. If you masturbate after smoking marijuana,

Is it high-jacking or weed-whacking?

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion...

Three Questions

Guy goes to a lawyer. "I've got some trouble. What is your lowest rate?"
"I'll answer three questions for $100."
"That's nuts! How can you charge that?"
"Quite easily, sir. Now, what is your third and final question?"

Question About a Joke

Here is the joke: C, D and E flat walk into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve minors here." So the E flat leaves and the C and G share an open fifth.

My question is: Would this joke be funnier if it was written in a different key?

An emoloyee was asked a question by the boss…

“What do you think is the biggest problem in our company? Is it the lack of knowledge or the lack of interest?”

To which he replied: “I don’t know and to be honest, I don’t care.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my wife the age old question. Is the cup half full, or half empty?

She replied;
"Stop wearing my fucking bra!!!!!"

Lawyers asking questions

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,

\- "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded,

\- "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were ...

Question for Thomas Edison...

What went off in your head before you invented the lightbulb?

A lawyer sits next to a blonde on a plane, and he really wants her to notice him, but she shows no interest.

The lawyer is not used to being rejected, so he says:

"Let's play a game. We go back and forth and ask each other questions, and if you don't know the answer, you give the person $5."

The blonde isn't interested, and she declines.

After 20 minutes of silence, the lawyer says:...

I want to know what the fear of question marks is called...

But I'm afraid to ask.

Dad, can I ask you two questions ?

Yes, son. Now, what's your second one ?

A boy asks a teacher a question.

Boy: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"

Teacher: "No, of course not."

Boy: "I didn't do my homework."

Cloning ethics question.

Cloning yourself and pushing your clone off a cliff to its death is probably a crime, but what crime is it?

Is it murder?

Suicide?

Or making an obscene clone fall?

A pig was destitute. He yearned for his question to be answered.

“Manners maketh man!” He wailed. “You can’t rightly call me a man so what makes a pig?” A gentleman heard him.

“Hello old chap.” The man stood, drawing his pork pie hat from his head. “I believe I have an answer for you.” The pig was rapt.

“Please tell!” The man withdrew his pipe from...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An easier question

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the wee...

Doctor has a question.

He asks if I'd like to be a kidney donor. I tell him "Doc, I'm all grown up now. I have adult knees, I don't think that'll work."

What is the most common question that a person holding a PhD in Philosophy asks other people?

"Do you want fries with that?"

The Interview Question

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks: "What does two plus two equal?"

The mathematician replies: "Four."

The interviewer asks: "Four, exactly?"

The mathematician looks at the interviewe...

What question should you never ask in a Jewish Deli?

What’s the Challah cost?

Went to donate blood today...awful experience, never again....

Question after question..."who's blood is it?"....."where did you get it?"....."why is it in a bucket?

random pandemic question

According to history class, they organized wild orgies in the Middle Ages after the victory over the Plague. Is there anything planned yet? I ask for a friend.

A very tough question to answer

If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

The UN decided to do a worldwide survey and the only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Students training to be police officers were given the following difficult examination question.

**A student training to be police officer was given the following difficult examination question:**

>"You're on street patrol when an explosion occurs on a nearby road. You investigate and discover an overturned van besides a large crater. Both occupants of the van are injured, and smell ...

What did the circle say when the square kept asking him a question?

Wait a secant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caller Question

The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, "Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?

To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."

What do you call a hockey player who questions their bad life choices?

Wayne Regretsky

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50....

Question: If it's not funny, is it still a joke?

Answer: In the case of Amy Schumer, yes.

The big questions

VLADIMIR Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.

At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions, so Little Sasha ...

"The person who answers this last question gets to leave early" said the teacher

"Now what is the sum of three and two, multiplied by the square root of 6 " the teacher asked.

The class began scribbling furiously. All except for Bobby. Bobby raised his hand and the teacher called on him.

"5" answered Bobby confidently. He began to pack up his things and walk to th...

Little Johnny asked god a question.

Johnny: Is it true that a billion years for us is just a second for you?

God: Why, yes it's absolutely true!

Johnny: Is it also true that a billion dollars for us is just a penny for you?

God: You're absolutely right!

Johnny: Well in that case, may I have a penny?

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question.

Do you think deaf girls masturbate with one hand so that they can moan with the other one?

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, always 6 letters, but never has 5 letters.

Hint: Not a question

We've all seen geese flying in a V formation with one side being longer than the other. The question is: Why is one side longer?

There are more geese on that side.

Marriage Question

So if a person from Holland and a person from the Philippines got married, would their babies be called Hollapiños?

A barrister questions the coroner during a trial

Barrister: So Mr Tolbol was dead prior to the commencement of the autopsy?

Coroner: Very much so.

Barrister: How did you know he was dead?

Coroner: His brain was in a jar on another table.

Barrister: Okay, but even with the brain removed, was it possible he could still be...

A new guy starts working at the local mental asylum.

After giving him some general indications, the director tells him to ask any question he may have.

-Yes, director, I have one. How do we know if a patient is cured and ready to leave the asylum?

-Well -says the director-, once per year, we gather some of them and ask them a question. I...

I wish I could donate blood, but last time there were so many questions.

"Whose blood is this?"
"Where did you get it?"
"Was the bucket sanitized first?"

A man got brought to the police station for questioning

When the police asked if he had anything to say for himself he said, "I am the son of two world famous artists you can't do this to me” so the cops apologize and say "you are Frida Gogh”

I asked Siri a question and she said, “Don’t call me Shirley.”

I must have left the phone in Airplane mode.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks the lady, ‘Do you have a vagina?’

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, ‘Do you have a vagina’?

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband g...

Ask me a questions and once I've responded, edit that question to a new one to make me look stupid.

I'm having a rough day and I think this could be a fun way to change that!

Nurses ask the hard questions

I posted this as a comment in this sub, the OP suggested I give it its own post.

Back about 36 years ago, I was a young married man. Me & my wife decided I would get fixed. I had the surgery and everything went fine. I had to take a specimen to the doc for a sperm count to make sure the p...

What’s one question that’s only asked of high-fashion celebrities and serial killers?

“Who are you wearing?”

Three nuns die and go to Heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.

"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.

"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.

"Where did Eve live?" He says to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A WW2 joke I heard recently

So, it’s 1941 and a young German boy is listening to the radio. On the radio Hitler announces that Germany is declaring war on the United States.

The boy asks, “Father, where is the United States?”

“Here, let me show you,” His father responds and points at a map of North America.
...

A science graduate asks the question why?

A science graduate asks the question why?

An engineering graduate asks the question how?

An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:

*"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE World"* No result was achieved, since the following problems were facedduring the survey's implementation:
1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"
2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"
3. In Eastern Europe no on...

A blonde and a lawyer are on a plane

And they’re sitting next to each other. The lawyer gets bored and decides to play a game.

He asks the blonde to join. The lawyer says “we’ll each ask each other a trivia question. If you get it right, you earn $5. If you get it wrong, the other person earns $5.”

Well, the blonde isn’t...

I question the Education System

I was kicked out of homeschool, just for making out with the teacher.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question again!

So my therapist told me to write letters to everyone I hate then burn them, But what the fuck do I do with the letters!?!?

What question does a pencil ponder on?

2B or not 2B

What is the first question on the Canadian Citizenship Exam?

Who’s sorry now?

Difficult questions

A son asks his dad "Daddy, what is string theory?"

The dad replied "Why are you asking me such difficult questions, come on ask me something easier"

The son then asks "Um ok so why does mommy get mad sometimes?"

"String theory is a theoretical framework in which the point-like p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to...

Why did Anakin fail to answer the trivia question?

He was stumped.

Question?

If Alcohol can damage your short term memory.




Imagine the damage Alcohol can do.

Donald Trump is in Berlin for his first state visit with Angela Merkel. Trump quickly asks what the secret of her great success is.

Merkel tells him you just have to have a lot of intelligent people around you.

"How do you know so quickly if someone is intelligent?" asks Trump.

"Let me demonstrate." She picks up the phone, calls Wolfgang Schäuble and asks him a question, "Mr. Schäuble, it's your father's son, but i...

What is a question word.

That's grammatically true.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.