Lets ban all shredded cheese from Mexico

Make America grate again.

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.

"The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more p...

When the bass player from the red hot chili peppers was growing up...

he only saw his father at Christmas time, because his work digging the railways of Mexico kept him away from home most of the year. To deal with missing his father he wrote a song about him which his father loved and used to play to his fellow workers when he returned to Mexico. As a result the song...

Identical twins, given up at birth are separated and adopted by 2 different families.

One family takes one of the twins back to their home in Mexico and the other boy is sent to live with a family in Egypt.

Years later the birth parents receive a letter from their son in Mexico and inside the letter is a picture of him.

Ecstatic, the husband runs to his wife to show h...

A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store.

He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"
The clerk replies, "F*ck you, get out, stay out!" The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

My friend is a doctor

Hope it is'nt a repost.

My friend is a gynaecologist.

So he had a patient who came for a pelvic examination.
Since he was a male doctor he didn't want it to be awkward so he tried
talking to the patient, he looked around and saw her sandals and on it, it
was written "made in...

Texas is a prime example of the problems unchecked immigration can cause.

If Mexico had not allowed all those Americans to move in back in the 1820s, it would still own Texas today!

Why does Mexico never win gold in the Olympics?

Because the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are already in America

What is the new party drug in Mexico called?

Guacamolly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black man, mexican man and a redneck are walking down the beach one day when they stumble upon a magical lamp.

They rub it and a Genie pops out. "Thank you for freeing me from 1000 years inside! I will grant each of you ONE wish!"

The black man goes first : "I wish all black people could be returned to Africa to live peacefully and happily with all the resources to guarantee a great life for many gene...

What did Pikachu said when he tried food in Mexico?

Pica, Pica.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympics team?

Because everyone who can run, jump, climb, and swim is already in America.

Two women archaeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum.

Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decomposed. One of the two says, "We don't seem to be having much luck."
The other replies, "Keep on digging, honey, a good Mayan is hard to find!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night.

They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump (of course) didn't respond.

The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I...

What do you get when you cross Mexico with an anti-racism book?

Tequila Mockingbird.

Two guys in a jail cell..

Two guys sitting in a jail cell alongside 3 others that had been arrested that night.

They find out one guy is a murderer, another stole a car and tried to drive to Mexico, the last guy was an African American man who kept to himself and wasn't talking.

"What's he in for?" one guy ask...

TIL: In the movie “The Day After Tomorrow”, the scene involving people migrating illegally into Mexico involve dozens of extras actually crossing from the USA into Mexico over the Rio Grande

Fortunately, all 1673 of them safely made it back to the US side without issue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can’t they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Mexico?

They had to give the donkey a break at some point

After a soundcheck there’s always a guy in a tree in Mexico.

Juan, to tree! Juan, to tree!

If Mexico is paying for the wall and China paying for the tariffs

Can somebody pay for my bills?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Donald Trump's favorite butterfly

The monarch because it always goes back to Mexico

Healthy eagles come from America.

Ill eagles come from Mexico.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donkey balls clock

So an American man is wondering around Mexico and begins to wonder what time it is. The American spots a Mexican man having a siesta and decides to wake the Mexican. The American man asks, "Senor, do you know what time it is?" The Mexican man looks to a donkey beside him, places his hand on the donk...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two couples in their 50’s...

Hang out every Saturday night; having dinner, playing cards and drinking wine. One night they decide to change things up and book a trip to Mexico.

While in Mexico the two husbands, drunk on tequila, decide to REALLY change things up and swap wives for the night. One says to the other “but w...

People keep talking about how they’re going to raid Area 51

Don’t they know that Donald Trump is moving all the aliens to Mexico?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Canadian stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Co...

It was really hard spending Christmas with my estranged family in Mexico.

I don’t think anyone cared I was there. The whole time they kept looking for this lady, Phyllis, and her Navy Dad.

A magician performing in Mexico told his audience he could vanish before they could count to three . . .

In unison, they chant “Uno! Dos! ...”
Poof!
He disappeared without a tres.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gynaecologist’s Assistant

A young man goes into the Job Center in Downtown Los Angeles and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more.

"Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.

The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the ladies ...

What do you call Amoxicillin made in Mexico?

Amoxicillin, you racist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist in Mexico goes into a bar to get wasted

It’s his last week on vacation and one of the things on his bucket list to do is basically to drink until he is completely wasted. As the night prolongs, he notices little by little the bar begins to empty. The bartender in his best English that he can muster says to him, “Señor, I think you should ...

The Best Way to Drink Tequila

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie.
The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish; anything you want."

The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really li...

An American is on a business trip to Mexico and has the first day off.

He decides he wants to ride a donkey, a traditional Mexican thing.

He asks this local man if he can rent a donkey for the day. The man says, "Gringo we call them asses here in Mexico. If you want him to stop though you need to scratch him." The American agrees and pays the Mexican man his ...

Husband and Wife went to Mexico for vacation

When returning to the US, driving through Tijuana, the husband sees a guy selling a beautiful skunk. Astonished with it's beauty, the husband begs the wife to let him take it home.

The wife, although also finding the skunk marvelous, is afraid that the US Customs and Border Protection will no...

I visited my girlfriends family in Mexico during the summer.

They all laughed at me for wearing a sweater to dinner.

But, my girlfriend told me it would be chili

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancho Villa

So a man walks into a bar in Mexico and sees a picture of Pancho Villa hanging on the wall. He starts talking to a local bar fly and it turns out this man’s uncle had once met Pancho Villa!

“Once, when my uncle was a young boy, Pancho Villa came riding through his town. My uncle, who was yo...

What’s Mexico’s favourite sport?

Cross-Country

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

And they just loved it. They couldn't make mayonnaise quick enough.

Little known fact, the Titanic had a large vat of mayonnaise that was going to go to Mexico.

Now when the Titanic sunk, and the mayonnaise we...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich Mexican buisnessman by the name of Jesus bought an apartment at the top floor of Burj Khalifa

He decided to invite his father to view his apartment and have a nice time together.He sent a plane ticket for his father in Mexico, and ordered his personal assistant to wait for him outside the airport.

When the father arrived, the assistant approached him to carry his luggage. The father a...

An old man was explaining to his grandson about major things that happened in his life.

“Now most people associate salsa as a Mexican condiment”, he said. “But actually we loved mayonnaise”. “Wow!”, said the boy. “Most people don’t know that in 1912 after docking in New York, the titanic’s next stop was the eastern shores of Mexico. And below the deck was 15 tons of mayo. As we all kno...

Mexicans and mayonnaise

Most people don't know that in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to have been the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would h...

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother-in-law who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles.

We live in Mexico and she’ll come find us

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

So I was at Mexico and I asked a man if what we were looking at was the ocean.

He said: "Si"

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.

While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves.

The patient says no.

The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she...

Juan arrives at the Mexico/US border

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on a bicycle. He's got 2 large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ou...

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