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Taco Bell Jokes

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Why doesn't Taco Bell have a play area?

It's hard to have a good time when you're trying not to shit your pants.

Taco Bell forced to shut down temporarily...

Due to the Corona virus the shortage of toilet paper has made this step a necessity.

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Love is like eating Taco Bell

It’s heaven until it all turns to shit.

I noticed Taco Bell cups say "welcome to the after party" on them.

That's a harsh way to tell you that you just got diarrhea.....

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Today, I ate a bunch of Taco Bell.









Lots of shit went down.

What did Wilford Brimley get whenever he ate Taco Bell?

Diarrhetus.

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I think Taco Bell was the tastiest laxative I've ever had.

I shit you not.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well actually he said "less McDonald's" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

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Have you ever use Taco Bell hot sauce as anal lube?

I hear that shit's fire.

a guy thing..

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I
was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in
between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I
smelled something funny, so of course, I che...

Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets

For teaching me how to flirt!

I'll never understand why people say Taco Bell isn't "real" Mexican food.

It gets the job done for half the price. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

What’s the difference between Home Depot and Taco Bell ?

You won’t find authentic Mexican at Taco Bell.

What do you call a teacher who had too much Taco Bell?

A tooter.

What did the EMT say to the choking guy at Taco Bell?

Live más.

Anakin Skywalker walks into a Taco Bell, and is shocked to find his master Yoda behind the counter

He asks what the Jedi master is doing there, to which he replies "Pay well, Jedi council does not. Work two jobs, I must." Fair enough, thinks Anakin. He orders his food, and reaches into his pocket to pay, when Yoda asks, "A beverage, would you like with that?" "Ok," says Anakin, "what do you recom...

I heard Taco Bell is renaming their restrooms.

They're now called "The Fast" and "The Furious".

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

In these tough times Taco Bell is providing more value than ever

Where else can you get gas for $1.19?

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This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”

The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?”
The lady frowned. ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.
”Well,” the doctor continued, ”Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are having beans, stir it in,...

A joke told to me today by a little old man at Taco Bell completely out of the blue

Why was the man fired from his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn’t concentrate.

What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell?

About 25 seconds in the microwave.

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

As a good luck charm my baseball team eats taco bell before every game.

To help us get more runs than our opponent.

Taco Bell is like a 7-Eleven

You go there for food and get gas.

My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

What did the IT support guy do yesterday after eating Taco Bell?

He troubleshat

Yo mama so fat

when she eats Taco Bell, she gets the walks.

You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell

Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

Did r/jokes hear about the new Taco Bell Express yet?

You give them 99c, and they throw a burrito in the toilet for you.

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Whats the difference between Taco Bell and a baby?

Eating a baby is a heinous deed, but eating Taco Bell makes your anus bleed.

Growing up in Canada, Taco Bell commercials were surprisingly different.

At the end of each ad, they sang: "Make a run...for the border. And then the next border."

Me: looks like taco bells closed, sign says short staff

Dad: well damnit! They should have hired taller people!!

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What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell

Both are responsible for gassing lots of people.

_________
Source:


http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2

I got gas today for $1.49.

I couldn't believe it was that cheap. Then again, I don't know what else I expected going to Taco Bell.

What do you mean gas shortage

There's plenty of Taco Bells in the US

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I masturbate fully naked

Don’t like it? Go to a different Taco Bell

Two blonde Mexican girls walk past a Taco Bell.

One looks at the other and says "Hey, I didn't know we owned a telephone company."

What do you call a Taco Bell merged with a Weinerschnitzel?

A beanerschnitzel.

I’m so sorry...

I got thrown off of a TV commercial set a few years ago.

We were filming an ad for Taco Bell. The director didn't like being corrected. He kept saying "That's a wrap" when clearly it was a Taco Supreme.

What do you call Tinker Bells Mexican cousin?

Taco bell.

Rich people have...

Rich people have colon cleanses
Poor people have taco bell

What do you call a beautiful woman who likes Mexican food?

Taco Belle.

A girl reaches out to me on Tinder and asks "If you could be any type of taco, what would would you be, and why?"

I reply "I would be a Taco Bell crunchy taco so that eleven of my friends and I could come inside one box."

Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?

Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.

Did you know you can discharge all four states of matter out of your ass?

Just eat Taco Bell to discharge plasma.

Jealous of the success of the Travis Scott burger, Kylie Jenner has signed a deal with a competing chain.

Coming soon: Eat Kylie's Taco at a Taco Bell near you.

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On Top of The Toilet - The_Merciless_Potato

A crappy feeling's comin' over me

There is defecation in 'most everything I see

Not a toilet in sight, ate a taco and some fries

And I won't be surprised if it's a stream



Every worst food-combo in the world

Is now coming true especially inside me

And...

Bought a huge flatscreen tv for $20 in an alley way after eating fast food

But when I got home and plugged it in a big Taco Bell menu popped up

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I expect today to be a really shitty day...

May as well start it off with Taco Bell for breakfast.

Did you know Tinker Bell got a fat older brother?

His name is Taco Bell.

I can be the Taco Beast...

...If you're my Taco Belle!

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Three doggos

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty,...

Little Ken Fok grew up working hard in his father’s restaurant in China

Every day before school he would get up at 6am and help prepare the dishes for that days lunch before coming home from school at 4pm to help with the evening shift by preparing and serving customers. He would make Spicy crab cakes, shredded pork and tofu. He would work until midnight and then repeat...

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Topical Joes (5/13)

Alright guys, here we are to recap the day's jokes. Let's get started.

First off in the news, it looks like the TSA arrested a woman for singing Whitney Houston on an airplane - but you should've seen what the TSA did when they caught those ridiculous musical militants of the Elton Jihad.
...

My daughter wanted to have a Disney princess tea party.

I couldn't find the tea or the dresses, so I settled for Taco Belle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/14)

Folks, folks. What a day! There are some good jokes out there to be had. Let's take a gander, shall we?

There's already some news out of the presidential election front...

Some are reporting Gov. Christie is losing weight just so he can make a run in 2016. Not to be outdone, Sen. Rubio...

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

What is you’re best taco/ Mexican food pun?

Hey reddit! So currently I work at Taco Bell taking orders in the drive thru. With covid-19 all going around, a lot of people have been more down compared to before. So I’ve been trying to make their days somewhat better. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: “hi welcome to Taco Bell, how ...

Things that we wished were delivered

1. Taco Bell

2. OP

3.

Once, many many years ago, there was a fad among fast food restaurants

to put historical, sometimes military or industrial items in their front yards as a kind of attraction/plaything; an old howitzer or maybe even a train caboose that kids could inspect or climb on. Sometimes these unlikely things would be decorated with the characters or dishes of the food chain. For...

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