UPJOKE

### If you stack two tacos on top of each other, you get two tacos.

But if you stack two lasagnas on top of each other, you get one lasagna.

### To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.

I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

### Tacos are imaginary -- a mathematical proof

tan = sin / cos (definition of tangent)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

### It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is \$2 vs \$2 each, or

When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child

### True Story

Yesterday would have been my stepfather Tom's 75th birthday. To commemorate the occasion, I give you this story.

Back in 2006, I was prepping to relocate from Nebraska back to Southern California, and this meant lots of phone calls between me and my mother. One Friday evening, I called her up...

### My kids won’t eat their tacos for dinner, so I had to throw them out.

Then I ate their tacos.

### Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Alcoholic - Really? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest - He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic - Ok, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and put's out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store? Priest - She too will go to Hell. Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going ...

### My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

### Last night I made fish tacos

They looked at them and just swam away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

### I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.

I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### It was a bad idea doing tacos the night before the big meeting. Everyone looked shocked when I accidentally farted loudly.

I looked back at them, just as shocked. After a moment, I broke the awkward silence, and said,

"Did you hear that asshole talking shit behind my back?"

### What does Pac-Man put on his tacos

Guacauacauacauacauacauacamole

### My friend: “My girlfriend said she wanted to eat tacos, so we flew to Mexico”

Me: “Hey babe what do you wanna eat?”

Her: “Nothing”

Me: *flies to Africa*

### Greek tacos sound good for lunch.

Gyros in a half shell.

Tacoma

### You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

### "I don't like tacos."

Said no Juan ever.

### A Man Stands In front of a Taco Truck and Reads the Menu.

It reads:

Taco \$2
Burrito\$6
Handjob\$10

He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful woman at the register.

"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" He says, ahnding her ten dollars.

"Yes I am." She answers seductively.

"Well wash your hands, I want 5 ...

I’m nacho type.

Nachos,

Fajitas &

Tacos

Not enough.

### Why are Tacos depressed?

Because they’re always falling apart

### I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

### My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos....

I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### My friend asked me if her breath smelled like tacos.

I said, "I don't know, do you put shit in your tacos?"

### What's Kermit's favorite food?

Pork Tacos.

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