UPJOKE
burritotortillasalsaguacamolesandwichgreaserquesadillacheesepizzaburgermexicanchilimexicofriesburgers

If you stack two tacos on top of each other, you get two tacos.

But if you stack two lasagnas on top of each other, you get one lasagna.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.

I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

Tacos are imaginary -- a mathematical proof

tan = sin / cos (definition of tangent)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or

When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child

True Story

Yesterday would have been my stepfather Tom's 75th birthday. To commemorate the occasion, I give you this story.

Back in 2006, I was prepping to relocate from Nebraska back to Southern California, and this meant lots of phone calls between me and my mother. One Friday evening, I called her up...

My kids won’t eat their tacos for dinner, so I had to throw them out.

Then I ate their tacos.

Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Alcoholic - Really? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest - He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic - Ok, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and put's out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store? Priest - She too will go to Hell. Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going ...

My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

Last night I made fish tacos

They looked at them and just swam away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.

I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was a bad idea doing tacos the night before the big meeting. Everyone looked shocked when I accidentally farted loudly.

I looked back at them, just as shocked. After a moment, I broke the awkward silence, and said,

"Did you hear that asshole talking shit behind my back?"

What does Pac-Man put on his tacos

Guacauacauacauacauacauacamole

My friend: “My girlfriend said she wanted to eat tacos, so we flew to Mexico”

Me: “Hey babe what do you wanna eat?”

Her: “Nothing”

Me: *flies to Africa*

Greek tacos sound good for lunch.

Gyros in a half shell.

If you eat 25 tacos and pass out, you’ll wake up in..

Tacoma

You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

"I don't like tacos."

Said no Juan ever.

A Man Stands In front of a Taco Truck and Reads the Menu.

It reads:

Taco $2
Burrito$6
Handjob$10

He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful woman at the register.

"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" He says, ahnding her ten dollars.

"Yes I am." She answers seductively.

"Well wash your hands, I want 5 ...

If you don’t like tacos,

I’m nacho type.

Yeah, I like NFTs...

Nachos,


Fajitas &


Tacos

A man died after a taco eating contest. Do you know how many tacos he ate?

Not enough.

Why are Tacos depressed?

Because they’re always falling apart

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos....

I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend asked me if her breath smelled like tacos.

I said, "I don't know, do you put shit in your tacos?"

What's Kermit's favorite food?

Pork Tacos.

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