UPJOKE
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Twelve signs that you're an idiot:

1. Aries,
2. Taurus,
3. Gemini,
4. Cancer,
5. Leo,
6. Virgo,
7. Libra,
8. Scorpio,
9. Sagittarius,
10. Capricorn,
11. Aquarius, and
12. Pisces

I walked into my doctors appointment and he said pick a star sign. I said Capricorn

He said no you’ve got Cancer

I've made it my life's mission to eliminate all Cancers.

Then Virgos. Then Scorpios. And finally, the Capricorns.

[First date] Her: So what do you do?

Him: I’m working on eliminating all cancers.

Her: Wow! That’s impressive!

Him: Next, I’ll move on to Capricorns.

Last week I found out what my Zodiac was

Apparently I'm a Cancer. I was devestated at first, because I was hoping to get Capricorn, but its really started to grow on me!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are out camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Suddenly, in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.

"Look up, Watson," Holmes says, "and tell me what you see."

"I see billions of stars," says Watson.

"And what do yo...

I walked into the Doctors Surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign.

" "Capricorn." I replied.



"Yeah, right," he tutted. "As if I'm about to tell you that you have Capricorn. Try again."

Doctor's Visit

A man walks into a doctor's awaiting some test results.

The doctor sits him down and says, 'Pick a star sign, any star sign'

The man replies, 'Capricorn.'

And the doctor goes, 'Nah, you got cancer.'

I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains

She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."

So a woman walks out of a doctor's office

and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says :

- What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ?
- No ma'am, CANCER !

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