Two men are roommates in a hospital. Because they are both weak from sickness, the men are unable to speak for weeks.

Finally, one man says to the other, “American.”



His roommate replies, “Canadian.”



Another week goes by and the first man says weakly, “Danny.”



The roommate can only reply, “Phil.”



Another week passes and the first man mutters to his roommat...

First Date...

Her: So what do you do?

Me: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers

Her: Wow, impressive

Me: Then I'll move on to Virgos

A guy walks into an eletronics store

Employee: *Hello Sir, how may I be of assistance*

Guy: *My dishwasher just died on me, I was wondering if I could get a similar one*

Employee: *Sure thing Sir, what was the make and model?*

Guy: *Fat, Brown Hair, Brown Eyed Virgo with an annoying mother*

I think horoscopes are absolute tosh.

But you know me, typical Virgo.

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