Sagittarius Jokes - 14 Hilarious Sagittarius Jokes

I might be a Sagittarius

But my mom says I’m a cancer to the family

Doctor, what was it you said I had, Sagittarius?

"No, Cancer."

Met a girl that's into horoscopes

Her : I'm a Sagittarius, bet that already tells you a lot about me.

Me : So according to this website, would you say you're a curious, energetic person that wants to be a part of things rather than be a spectator?

Her : Mmmhm that's me to a T

Me : Congratulations you're an Arie...

Twelve signs that you're an idiot:

1. Aries,
2. Taurus,
3. Gemini,
4. Cancer,
5. Leo,
6. Virgo,
7. Libra,
8. Scorpio,
9. Sagittarius,
10. Capricorn,
11. Aquarius, and
12. Pisces

A blonde walks out of the hospital

She suddenly stops in her tracks, and tries to remember what the doctor said. She then goes back inside to see her doctor again.

\- Doctor, I don't remember what you said I had. Is it Aries or Sagittarius?

The doctor sighs and says:

\- Cancer, miss. Cancer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Horoscope

Sagittarius: Today you will have a quarrel with Leo.

Leo: Sagittarius is bitching about you behind your back.

Astrology is bunk.

I'm Sagittarius, but everyone says I'm a Cancer

I think I need a new doctor. Mine can't even get my star sign right.

I'm a sagittarius, but he said I have cancer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve Rogers: Bruce, aren't you worried about getting cancer from the Hulk's radiation?

Bruce Banner: That's my secret, Cap. *pulls out a horoscope* I'm already a Cancer.

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PS: I know, Bruce Banner is actually a Sagittarius. Don't @ me, bro.

When she asked me about my sign I told her I don't believe in astrology...

Because I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I broke up with my girlfriend because our signs didn't match...

...I'm a Sagittarius, and she's a bitch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Studies show unprotected sex has over an 8 percent chance of causing Cancer.

The same study found a near equal chance of causing Gemini or Sagittarius.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

An Englishman and an Irishman...

An Englishman and an Irishman are in the hospital room in adjacent beds.

The Englishman looks over at the Irishman and peels away his oxygen mask from his face. "I'm English." Said the Englishman. The Irishman also takes away his oxygen mask and gasps, "Irish."

The Englishman slowly ...

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