My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns.

It finally Taurus apart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 45th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and there's a lot of one-upmanship going on.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes." and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to...

I bet you are a Taurus...

because you are a fat cow.

Ford and Renault were working on a joint car project......

...where they combined the Renault Clio with the Ford Taurus.

They gave up when male test drivers couldn't find the car.

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A teacher is teaching her first astrology class

Mrs. Jones is teaching her very first astrology class, and it happens to be to a room full of second-graders. The way she wants to help introduce the different astrological signs is by putting cards face down, one each, on each of the student's desks.

Once she is finished distributing the car...

Three car salesmen have a wreck on the way to work

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says "Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven."

To the first he says "My son, while on Earth did you lead a good life?"
"Oh yes, " says the first man," I had thirty years of marriage to a wonderful woman and I was hones...

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My girlfriend and I broke up over astrology.

She's a Taurus, but I don't believe in bullshit.

I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains

She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."

Did you hear Renault and Ford are going release a hyrbrid vehicle this year

mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' together

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In the market for a new car...

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where...

How did the astrologer cross the road?

In his Taurus!

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