So St Peter was checking people into heaven

And as he was doing so, he was assigning cars to the entrants based on the how many bad deeds they did on earth. The first man walks up and Peter asks, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The man replies, "50 times". Peter then assigns him a beat up 1984 Nissan pickup. The next man walks up...

Ford and Renault were working on a joint car project......

...where they combined the Renault Clio with the Ford Taurus.

They gave up when male test drivers couldn't find the car.

Three car salesmen have a wreck on the way to work

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says "Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven."

To the first he says "My son, while on Earth did you lead a good life?"
"Oh yes, " says the first man," I had thirty years of marriage to a wonderful woman and I was hones...

Next time I meet someone that says they are a cancer survivor...

I will say, "no doubt, my last girlfriend was a taurus."

I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains

She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."

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My girlfriend and I broke up over astrology.

She's a Taurus, but I don't believe in bullshit.

Did you hear Renault and Ford are going release a hyrbrid vehicle this year

mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' together

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In the market for a new car...

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where...

How did the astrologer cross the road?

In his Taurus!

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